Fic: Rough Magic (10/10)

[inell@xxxxxxx]

Title: Rough Magic
Author: Inell
Email: Inell@xxxxxxx
Disclaimer: Joss owns them all
Distribution: My site, Kiss or Kill, http://members.fortunecity.com/kissorkill Anyone that has permission, take. Otherwise, just ask.
Rating: R
Pairing: Willow/Buffy
Feedback means a lot and is greatly appreciated!
Note: A hug to anyone that remembers this one! Previous parts can be found at Kiss or Kill. Well, it's finished. Hopefully it wasn't completely awful!


ROUGH MAGIC (10/10)


"You look awful."


Willow gave Anya a small smile as she moved to sit beside the former demon's hospital bed, "Yeah, well, you don't look that great, either."


"I feel worse than I look," Anya said quietly, her eyes watching the redhead sit down. "Thanks for coming to talk to me."


"We're friends," Willow said, "I wanted to check on you earlier, but Xander wouldn't leave you alone. He loves you so much."


"I love him," Anya smiled, "I don't know how to say this, but I need to tell you. The baby, it wasn't your fault. I don't know what happened that night. I felt a shift in the air and then I saw that light and Tara fell, but it wasn't your fault about the baby."


"Anya, don't," Willow shook her head slowly. It had been three days since the spell had gone wrong, and she didn't want Anya forgiving her so easily.


"Listen to me," Anya sighed, "it was my fault. The doctors told me, they said, it would have happened sooner or later. My body, I'm missing something that would keep the baby alive. I don't know, a lot of medical terms that I don't understand. I can never have a baby, Willow. They were shocked that I managed to get pregnant in the first place, but it won't happen again. When I had the miscarriage, there was some internal injuries, and, well, I guess it's punishment for my centuries as a demon. I can be human, but the body isn't perfect. I haven't told anyone except Xander, but I wanted you to know. I understand about feeling guilty, about blaming yourself for things that are beyond your control, and I wanted you to know that losing my baby wasn't your fault."


"Oh, Anya, I'm so sorry," Willow whispered, having not expected this conversation at all.


"Hey, it's okay. I mean, I've had several days to deal with this. I did my crying, and now it's time to stop thinking about it. Xander and I, we're talking about getting married soon and maybe looking into adoption," Anya said with a soft smile.


"There are a lot of children in this town that need parents," Xander said quietly as he stepped into the room. He took Anya's hand, squeezing it as he leaned over and brushed his lips against her forehead. He looked back at Willow and Buffy, who had just entered the room with him, "Anya will make a wonderful mother."


"Yes, she will," Willow nodded, feeling as if she had cried more in the last few days than she had during her entire life. "When are you being released?"


"Tomorrow," Anya smiled, "thank God! I hate the food here and the nurses are rather rude. I just want to go home."


"If you need anything, we're here," Buffy said softly, having heard about Anya's condition from Xander.


"I'm sorry I couldn't go to Tara's funeral," Anya said as she looked at Willow.


"It's okay. She understands. It was a simple service, really," Willow said with a sigh, "she wanted her ashes spread at the ocean. She loved the ocean, you know?"


"It gets easier," Anya said really softly, her eyes catching Willow's. "The guilt, it fades eventually. You'll always love her, and one day you'll be able to think about her without tears and sadness. You'll love again and that will make her happy."


"It wasn't your fault, Will. Giles looked over everything and he said that the spell was accurate," Xander reminded before he sighed sadly, "Maybe it was just her time. Our baby needed someone to look after him, to take care of him, and Tara was chosen."


"Oh, Xan," Willow moved into his arms, hugging him tightly as he tried to smile and not cry. She pulled back, giving him a fragile smile, "I love you."


"Love you, too, Wills," Xander smiled gently, "now, no more tears. Promise me, no more guilt, okay? We've lost enough lately. We need to continue to live, to love, to try to be happy."


"I promise," Willow said as she looked at Buffy, taking the slayer's hand and squeezing, seeing a look in the slayer's eyes that seemed to support Tara's arguments. She didn't know if Buffy might love her in that way, and she wasn't ready to find out, yet, but it gave her hope. She looked at her friends, smiling softly as she said, "We can move on, together."


Buffy squeezed Willow's hand, knowing that one day soon, when Willow was ready, she was going to confess her real feelings for the redhead. She loved Willow so much and wanted to spend her life with her. She smiled softly as she said, "Together, we can do anything. I really love you guys."


Xander pulled Willow and Buffy against him, hugging them tightly as he looked into Anya's eyes, squeezing her hand as he mouthed the words, "I love you."


********THE END**********



Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                      —'Choices'

Community email addresses:
      Post message: buffywantswillow@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
      Subscribe:    buffywantswillow-subscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
      Unsubscribe:  buffywantswillow-unsubscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
      List owner:   buffywantswillow-owner@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shortcut URL to this page:
      http://groups.yahoo.com/group/buffywantswillow

Official archive for the list:
      http://www.ikoly.com/fanfic

Other links to Buffy/Willow fics:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/buffywantswillow/links

---

Yahoo! Groups Links

• To visit your group on the web, go to:
  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/buffywantswillow/
   
• To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
  buffywantswillow-unsubscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
   
• Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.