Fic: We Band of Buggered 1/2

[Crys Loch <pagansoul@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Here's the sequel to 'Survivors'.  The aftermath.

Title:  We Band of Buggered (a sequel to Survivors)

Author:  Crys Loch

Email:  pagansoul@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx <mailto:pagansoul@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>

Feedback:  Yes, please.

Distribution:  I have no site.  If you have my other works, feel free.  
If you want, ask and I'll probably say yes.

Spoilers:  These are Season 7 characters without the Season 7 plot. 
(forget the potentials, First, et al.)

Rating:  PG-13

Pairing:  B/W/X- friendship (with all other up to season 7 pairings 
implied, plus B/W from Survivors)

Disclaimer:  I did not create, nor do I own the characters or their 
premise.  Joss Whedon did and does.  This is for fan fun and no profit.

Summery:  Xander may not have super powers, but he'll have his say.  It 
turns out they all have their demons.   

One Last Thing:  Continues the same night as Survivors.



We Band of Buggered

By C.L.





Buffy and Willow were exhausted.  They entered the home quietly, 
expecting Xander to be asleep on the sofa and Dawn asleep in her room.  
Halfway through the front hall, they were surprised by a table lamp 
suddenly turning on.  Xander was seated on the sofa.  He looked tired.  
They entered the living room.



"Why aren't you asleep?"  Willow asked quietly.



"Just thinking.  Some worrying too."  Xander ran his hand through his 
hair and sat up straighter.  "You guys are late."



"In the dark?"  Willow asked.



"Sorry 'bout that.  Events on patrol night."  Buffy offered the general 
though truthful excuse.



"Are you okay?"  Xander directed to Willow, suddenly awake, eyes 
watchful for any sign of injury.



"Yeah Xander, I'm fine."  Willow tried to sound as reassuring as possible.



He grew uneasy when Willow wouldn't look him in the eyes as she said 
it.  Looking closer, he noticed something had changed, happened.  Buffy 
and Willow stood inside the living room across the coffee table from him 
instead of sitting down or simply going up to their rooms.  They kept 
close to each other, constantly almost or briefly touching.  It reminded 
him of how they acted when they were in high school and that would have 
made him smile except that lately they had kept a careful safe distance 
from each other at all times.  A familiar sinking feeling settled inside 
him, so he looked deeper.



"You're bit!"  Xander stood up immediately and pointed a finger at Willow.



"No, I'm not."  Willow was confused at first then realizing what he must 
be seeing, covered her neck with her hand before he could see more.



"No, she wasn't!"  Buffy countered before she realized the same thing.



"Yes, you were.  You were bit.  I knew you shouldn't go out 
patrolling."  Xander held his ground, looking Willow in the eyes.



"I can't just sit around here all night doing nothing."  Willow defended 
herself.



"Like I do?"  Xander emphasized his point by sitting back down on the 
sofa, arms out.



"You can go out patrolling as well.  That's your choice you know."  
Willow reminded him. 



"Not unless he stops judging how I do my job."  Buffy countered.  She 
was tired of this.  Tired of Xander questioning how she lived and dealt 
with her life.



"How you hunt now almost got Willow killed."  Xander accused. 



He was terrified of what was becoming of Buffy since she returned to 
them.  He had tried to continue going with her on patrols at first.  
Patrol proved to be the wrong word to describe her nightly excursions 
now.  He grew sick of inertly watching Buffy set off on her own to 
search out and lure the vampires to herself.  He felt ill, cold when 
Buffy would return.  A blank hard stare remained on her face after a 
kill.  It was as if nothing that happened in the night touched her.  It 
was like nothing and no-one could touch her.  He feared for her as she 
went out, thinking maybe she didn't care whether she lived or died.  He 
feared her a little as well, seeing the look in her eyes when it was 
done.  So he stayed with Dawn.  Told himself he was protecting her, and 
worried in the dark.



"Buffy didn't almost get me killed."  Willow corrected.  "The eight 
vamps that attacked us almost got me killed."



Dawn heard the rising voices and got up out of bed.  Quietly she sat on 
the top step in the shadows and listened.



"Eight vamps?  You used magic, didn't you."  Xander crossed his arms 
over his chest and closed his eyes against the truth.  Willow wasn't 
supposed to use magic unless really, really necessary, and if she hadn't 
gone on patrol tonight it wouldn't have been necessary.  He worried for 
Willow even more than Buffy.  It was like some tentacle of the Hellmouth 
had reached up and possessed the childhood friend he once knew.  He felt 
he was losing her just like he lost Jesse.  She just had to fight it, 
not let it in.  Not unless they had to fight some major evil.  Even 
then, he wished she wouldn't. 



"Xander, I had to use magic.  You know, to save my life and all that."  
Willow let her hand drop from her neck.  She took a deep breath and 
resolved to be honest and open and hope that he could deal with it in 
the end.  "Magic isn't evil.  It's not even the problem.  How I handled 
having a little bit of power?  Now that was the problem.  The energy 
itself is just a little darker in this corner of the world.  I have to 
be more careful.  Of myself, not the magic.  Xander..."  Willow paused 
till he looked up and into her eyes.  "I fought back.  I saved my life.  
And with a little help from a friend, I got through it.  I needed to do 
this.  It needed to be done."



"Why?"  Xander challenged.  "Why couldn't you not patrol, not use magic, 
until..."



"Until what?"  Willow voice rose as she challenged him back.  "Until 
some big bad comes along and I need to suddenly do some major mojo?  
That makes a hell of a lot of sense."



"A vampire bit you!"  Xander threw out what he thought was the winning 
point.



"A vampire didn't do this!"  Willow pointed to her neck.



"Right."  Xander stared at the real, solid surface of the coffee table.  
"Now we're playing the guess the demon game.  So what did bite you, Willow?"



"I did."  Buffy stunned everyone in the room.



Willow sat in a nearby chair, placed her head in her hands and waited.



"You did it?!  What do you mean, you did it?"  Xander rose to his feet, 
glanced at the front door, then the stairs and checked Buffy's position, 
noticing she blocked the door and the way up the stairs and to Dawn.  
Looking around, he tried to form a plan to get past her.



"Xander, please, sit back down.  I'm not evil.  I swear there's no-one 
evil in the house.  But I appreciate your obvious intent to protect 
Dawn."  Buffy smiled slightly and ran her hand through her hair, trying 
to come up with a way to explain it all.



"What?  You bit Willow in a good way?  That's a love bite?"  Xander 
remained standing, accusing, but forcing himself to hear Buffy out.



"It was pretty good."  Willow cut Xander's sarcasm with some of her own.



Buffy laughed.  "Sorry, hysterical."  She took a deep breath and tried 
to continue.  "Xander, when I finally got to Willow she had already used 
the magic.  She was..."



"The black was back."  Willow honestly put in.



"Yeah."  Buffy acknowledged, offering a small, reassuring smile to 
Willow before returning her attention to Xander.  "You don't 
understand.  What's it's like now.  Afterwards, there's just this cold 
nothing that creeps in."  She wanted to explain, but couldn't believe 
that Xander would understand the words.  She didn't really have the 
right words, anyway.



"You're damn right I don't understand."  Xander acknowledged.  He felt 
himself fall past the edge of worrying: of what was happening to his 
friends, of what might happen to him if he pushed them too hard.  He had 
to do something about it.  Or at least say something about it.  "I don't 
understand why you live like you're the undead," then turning on Willow, 
"and I don't understand why you can't just leave it alone."



"Xander."  Willow cut in before he truly got going on his tirade, the 
calm in her voice causing everyone to pause.  Seeing the familiar 
frustrated anger in his eyes, she closed her own and leaned back in the 
chair.  Taking a deep breath to ready herself, she opened her eyes and 
held them caring and knowingly on her friend.  She saw Xander relax, his 
eyes soften.  When he started to speak again, she held a hand up to halt 
him.  "Wait.  Let me try to explain.  I want you to understand.  Cause 
it's something that I kinda have to live with now.  And it's something 
Buffy's been trying to live with for a while."



Xander crossed his arms against the feeling of being yet again, the odd 
man out.  He noticed again the small, reassuring glances that passed 
between the two women now.  It didn't reassure him.



Willow continued.  "Coming back; from what I became before and from 
England to this place now: something's left open in me.  Magic's a part 
of me now, but when I use it, something else has a way in.  It's just a 
cold, hollow, not much of anything thing.  And there's this need, 
desire, to fill it.  I could fill it with more magic, but we all know 
that is not of the good."



"It's been the same with me."  Buffy confided, finally.  "Since... since 
coming back, there's like this part that's missing."  She watched her 
friends recoil slightly at the reminder that they pulled her back from 
the dead, from heaven.  "Maybe I finally got a wound that just couldn't 
heal.  But now when I slay, it opens."  Buffy looked Xander in the eyes, 
almost begging him to understand.  "You have to connect with something; 
life, more than life; or it just bleeds you dry.  You have to connect 
with someone."



"Even if it's undead life?"  Xander picked up on the reference and threw 
it back at her.



"Let's leave Spike out of this, okay?"  Buffy responded, surprising even 
herself with how calm she remained.  "For once let's you and me have it 
out without bringing my boyfriends into it."



"Boyfriend's not exactly the right word, is it?"  Willow cut in, perhaps 
a little too honestly.  A part of her was grateful for what had happened 
tonight, but a greater part of her was still reeling from what it had 
all come to.



"Fine!"  Buffy threw her hands up and sat in the other chair.  Her skirt 
rose as she sat and she very self consciously tried to tuck it around 
her, suddenly fully aware of fact that she was missing her panties.  She 
wondered sarcastically to herself how many times she had come home like 
this in the last year. 



Noticing he was the only one still standing, Xander relented and sat 
back down on the sofa.  Silence filled the space between them.



Willow mouthed the word 'sorry' to Buffy and decided to try and get back 
on track.  "Point is, Buffy helped pull me back from the edge."



"And how did she do that, exactly?"  Xander challenged.



Buffy's eyebrows rose and she decided to call him on it.  "Do you really 
want the visuals?  The play by play?  Cause then, first..."





Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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