~Buffy*Wants*Willow~ "You're Welcome" ["Angel" 5.12]---SPOILERS!

[danspector@xxxxxxxxx]

Cross posting here

because

there was

a discussion

about the

events of the ep

last week

on BWW,

but those on that list

should remember 

that my critiques of the recent Buffyverse 

episodes can be

rather caustic

If you don't 

want to hear

me say bad things about Joss Hackdon (like that!)

take your opportunity and 

"Delete" now

You

Have

been

warned

&


And now here's what I posted elsewhere about Cordelia's "death", which I
suppose I could retitle

JOSS WHEDON SUCKS [2004 Edition]

Just plain lame.  Guys, if you're actually referencing Doyle's death, it
pretty much clues the audience that you're out of ideas.  

"Sniff, Doyle died so I could fight on!  And now Cordy's dead so I can
fight on!  I don't know what I'd do without you, Wes."  

"Ahhh&yes.  You know, Angel, on second thought, that job with the new
Watchers' Council does offer some intriguing possibilities.  I'll write
soon."

Guys, character deaths are only effective if they're built into the
story, like Jenny or Joyce, or if at least the story then builds on the
random, thrown-in death, as with Doyle and Tara. ("Hero" sucked, but
"Parting Gifts" redeemed it, and there was at least an opportunity for
good storytelling post-"Seeing Red", even if they flubbed it.)  This was
"oh, we can only afford Charisma for one ep, and we want Angel to be
available for Buffy-smooches later, so buh-bye!"  I practically giggled.

Still, it does piss me off that I now have to do even more fanwanking,
more canon-disregarding.  I don't really consider anything post-"Normal
Again" as canon, since Evil Willow (out of nowhere, inconsistent with
previous characterization [especially the oft-mistakenly-cited "Wild at
Heart", which actually goes to lengths to prove that ***Willow can't do
that NO MATTER HOW HARD SHE'S PUSHED***, she doesn't "have the teeth",
to quote Veruca], promptly forgotten and never dealt with in any
substantive manner the following year) basically subverts the whole
morality of the show, namely that there are such things as good people
who are worth saving and that's why Buffy must fight and ultimately
sacrifice her life because she has a higher purpose.  If even the show's
avatar of essential humanity can cross any line, given enough bad
writinger, "motivation"then you may as well let the vampires kill
them all and let God sort them out.

Between that, and "The Enormous Hunk Of Flaming Crap That Called Itself
A Finale", wherein the show spat on both Buffy's identity ("You talk
about slaying like it's a job.  It's not.  It's who you are."
Slayerdom is NOT some burden Buffy has to lay down, it's a METAPHOR
for her individuality, her sense of self, her finding the thing that
makes her special, just as we all must do.  Except now Buffy has to be
"free" of it, and every little asswipe in the world is a Slayer,
yee-hah, barf) **and** her mission (seven years of fighting and
sacrifice so that peoplewho are apparently all latent mass-murderers,
but let's ignore the Season Sux bile herecan have what Buffy can't, a
safe and happy life, but forget all that, let's wipe out the town, it'll
look cool!) just because Joss wanted to complete his plummet into being
someone who can only write gimmicks and empty spectacle (thanks for
making me retroactively cringe at "Hush", you has-been!), well I've had
to do some serious mental editing and disconnecting to still be able to
enjoy the vivid intelligent work that ME was capable of in the days
before it was all about Joss's crush on Marsters.  

Still, all that said, even though I only really count through ep 117,
and even though the world makes much more sense if you just stop before
Dawn appears (because the monks' mindfuck makes it impossible for us to
know what the characters know and feel, and therefore their motivations
seem empty and lacking resonance), I can still enjoy taking elements of
UPHELL and using them as fic starters, dealing with what could be done
if the situation and characters were once again in the hands of the
people who wrote "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" way back when it was on
television, several years ago.  Heck, when "Damage" aired, I was willing
to take the "scattered Scoobs" references and issue fic challenges,
using the distance as a springboard for reconnection.

But this is another step altogether.  Utter pointlessness for the sake
of cheap emotional manipulation, mostly mandated by ME's literal
cheapness, their budgetary constraints.  There's no reason in hell
storywise why Cordy couldn't have stayed comatose, or Angel couldn't
have sent her to Giles to recover, or Cordelia couldn't have left
because she felt Angel was betraying his ideals by working for W&H (and
there would be much brooding as a result) or whatever.  No reason at
all.  They just wanted to "kill" her off, and make us cry.  Well, I'm
not tearful.  I'm not even really angry.  I'm just annoyed at the lack
of respect, both for our intelligence, and for Cordelia, a core
character whose story deserves resolution, or the promise thereof, not
just "whoops, dead, but it's Angel who's important, anyhow."

I suppose my actual ire here is on four things **other** than Cordy's
supposed death, all of which play into each other.

1)  The loss of Lindsey and his storyline.  What, two eps (plus the
cameo at the end of "Destiny") and that's it?  Two years of unaccounted
time to build up, plenty of room to plot, and all of a sudden it's "The
jig is up so I'd better unleash this previously-unmentioned [and never
seen, because the show has no money in the budget] monster!  Oops,
foiled, gone now!"  I'm not one of those people who hates standalone
eps, in fact I couldn't stand the "non-stop action" of last season's
"turgid supernatural soap opera" [preach it, Gunn!], but to abandon all
pretensions to an arc in Ep 12 seems like ass to the Nth degree.
(Although it was nice that they made sure to give the Angel/Lindsey
slashers plenty of material.)

But apparently they couldn't afford the money to pay Christian Kane for
any more eps.  Which leads to:

2)  Did anyone notice that the show was just a lot better with Cordelia
on it?  Faster, livelier, more fun?  The characters thought quicker,
were more intelligent, hadn't forgotten things that had gone before.
Hell, Wesley even seemed to matter, for a second or so there.

So why isn't CC back, given that Charisma is available and willing to
work?  Well, that leads us to&

3)  No money.  The WB cut the budget and ME overspent to bring Marsters
and his cheekbones on board.

Well, if you've gotta cut, you've gotta cut.  
Much as I dislike Spike's "redemption" and a lot of Marsters's recent
hamminess, I can see that he'd be a selling point.  And they did do a
nice job on the "Lindsey cons Spike" story.
And much as I hate having *three* vampires around, one of whom is still
soulless, the show does know how to use Spike and Harmony for comedy.  I
particularly liked this:

ANGEL (intense):  &I'm not risking anyone I care about!
SPIKE (quiet):  I'll do it.
ANGEL (brightly):  Okay!

as well as the "sic 'em, Harmony!" bit.  But it's not like there
isn't dead weight on the show.  Lorne's been useless since Season 3
(Andy's fun, but there's no way he should be drawing a regular check),
Gunn's lost everything distinctive about him and they gave him a new
look just so he can fill space a different way (are they afraid of being
accused of racism or something if they ditch him?) and Fred is only
there for exposition (Wesley's job) and alleged sex appeal (much better
handled by Cordelia, obviously).

The simple solution is to keep the cast down Angel, Cordy, Wes, and
Spike, with Harmony (if you must) as a recurring.  Gunn went off
adventuring with Electra-Gwen and is "finding himself".  Lorne's
reopened Caritas and is available for guest appearances, budget
permitting.  But spend more on villains (this way, you can have
Actual!Lilah, rather than Lilah-Lite), location shoots and such, and
less on filler characters.  (If you have both budget and **a reason**
for Fred to be on the show, fine.  Otherwise she's just down in the lab
all the time, and may or may not be hired recurring. [Much like the
apparently-vanished Knox, at this point.]) 

Sadly, ME no longer understands the concept of a strong central cast,
and building the story around them.  The bloat was most evident on
"Fireflop" with its nine, count 'em, nine regulars.  
So that's one reason Charisma/Cordelia isn't back.  The other reason,
sadly, is&

4)  They don't want her back.

Apparently Joss and/or Jeff Bell see her pregnancy and maternity leave
last year as a "betrayal" of some sort.  So, just as Joss made sure to
cut Emma Caulfield out of any reunion projects by dicing Anya (because
he was mad at Emma for not wanting to re-sign for a possible Season 8),
Joss/Jeff have now ensured that even if the budget woes are solved, even
if there's a movie, Charisma/Cordelia won't be a part of it.

To quote Bell's assinine comments at the San Diego Comic convention:
"People have lives,  people have babies, characters have storylines, and
she had a great one."  Sure, Charisma can work throughout most of her
pregnancy and be putting in full days on the set just TEN days after
giving birth, but apparently her pregnancy was a choice she made and
completely makes it impossible for her to be on the show full-time, so
it's not like we're firing her for being a woman, nuh-uh.  

And as for Cordelia's storyline being over, please.  I wrote a post
where I came up with, off the top of my head, 15-20 things that Cordy
and the gang could be dealing with in wake of the Possessed!Cordy story,
and I even glossed over the specific tension that Cordy's killing Lilah
would engender between her and Wes, which got touched on in "You're
Welcome".  If Bell can be doing stories about a character who ended last
year by getting closure on his relationship and then burning to a crisp
in an act of (alleged) heroism, they can damn well find plenty for
Cordelia to do.

I've heard it said that ME considers Cordelia nothing but a failed
girlfriend for Angel, and thus now useless to the show (there may even
be a quote, but I don't have it), but that's ridiculous to anyone who
ever watched the show.   Cordelia gave ME five great years before the
failed attempt at A/C (which to me spoke more about the execution than
any failings in the character), and there's no way she couldn't still be
of value.  And the events of Season 4 should make a perfectly good wedge
between Angel and Cordy, should you feel the need to keep him available
to brood over Buffy.  (Which, I'd argue, an A/C relationship wouldn't
even necessarily invalidate, but never mind that.) 

Ironically, although they seem to want to punish Charisma for being a
woman, they made damn sure to flaunt her curves, didn't they?  I can't
recall ever seeing an episode where they showed that much cleavage, not
even the Pylean Bikini Special.  Not that I'm complaining about Cordy
wearing two separate shirts unbuttoned to just above her navel, but it
does seem a tad hypocritical on the show's part.  Cordy lies to everyone
throughout the mission about her impending "death" and doesn't even say
goodbye to Wesley, but she's making sure she's undressed to impress?
Yeah, whatever.

"I'm dying?  I can't die!  Angel hasn't seen my boobies in months!
He'll forget them!  Please, you've got to let me have a few last days,
so I can walk around with my boobies hanging out!  Angel can live
without my visions, but not without my boobies!  Not Without My
Boobies!!!" (Coming soon to a theater near you&)

However, there is some good news:  because ME has so muddled the
objective storytelling, there's no reason to actually believe in Cordy's
off-camera "death".  As in a bad comic book, death now has no meaning in
the Whedonverse.  Spike crispy-fries and is all better almost instantly,
Lilah gets beheaded and pops out with only an itchy neckand we're
supposed to be choked up that an agent of the PTB is reported dead
off-screen, when the Powers can raise actual corpses, and the whole
series is now about the lies being told around Wolfram & Hart and
practically the entire cast is **already** under a memory wipe?
Surrrre.  

It's perfectly probable that the Powers decided that Angel needed to not
be relying on their aid if he was to find his path, so they had someone
fib to him about Cordy dying, because deep inside he'd been holding on
to hope that she'd come back and the PTB would solve everything for him.
Now Angel "knows" he's on his own, and will take charge of his life.

Cordy's visit was a favor granted to her before she heads off to her
next mission, which is flying to Rome to seduce Buffy, so Buffy can
FINALLY get over her drama, admit her sexuality, hook up with Willow and
get back to being the Slayer we all know and used to love.  After that,
she's off to Cleveland because after two years of Vamp!Angst with Mr.
Tall, Dorky, and Practically a Eunuch (her words, not mine), Cordy needs
some time with an actual man and, well, mmmmGiles!

See, I can still fanwank with the best of them.  It's just a pity that
ME seems to want to give us new stuff to constantly have to plow
through.

Finally, what was the point of doing this in the much-promoted 100th ep?
Will Cordelia's "death" get anyone who hadn't been tuning in recently to
keep coming back?  Of course not.  If you're luring looky-loos with a
massive "Cordy's back!" campaign, "Cordy's dead!" pretty much kills that
right there.  Especially given that the other characters (even Spike!)
had very little to do in the ep, and thus very little chance to hook the
new viewer.   Was there any positive note, or dangling plotlines (other
than "can't we get rid of Eve, already?") that would make the casual
viewer stick around?  Nope.  

Here, after finally keeping my "I quit this crap" vow (first made after
Season Sux, but only wrt BtVS at the time) and skipping the first nine
eps, I'd come back for "Soul Purpose" (for Lindsey), for "Damage"
(Spike-mutilation ended up outweighing Andrew's eternal assitude), and
this (for Cordy).  If the storylines had seemed good, I might have even
stuck around to enjoy next week's Submarine!Angel vs. Nazi!Spike trifle,
which would be an acceptable one-off, given a strong show.

But with Cordy, Lindsey, Conned!Spike and Angel's angst about working at
W&H all permanently gone, so am I.  (No, a Buffy appearance wouldn't
bring me backindeed, Marsters and Gellar reuniting would probably
have me discovering the joys of "60 Minutes II", or whatever CBS runs in
the slot.) 

Later,

Dan



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Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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