State of the Swamp Report for January 2004

[GHRDR <ghrdr@xxxxxxxxx>]

TO:  All Department Heads; United Vegetable Empire;
and all other interested parties.

FROM:  The Assistant Director of Public Safety

SUBJECT:  Swamp Safety Report for January 2004

1.) About the white polyester leisure suit wearing
eggplant. My sources have confirmed that a Gutter
Resident has totally defected to the Spuffy side. The
innocent eggplant was used in an attempt to cause
disharmony between the Gutter and Veggie Empire.

   We ask that all Gutter Dwellers stay in groups of
three or more till the Spuffy agent can be found and
dealt with. This is not an open invitation for mass
mayhem or wolf-hunts... you still have to fill out the
forms for those.

2.)  The Dark Slayer and the Seer have been sent to
help the Were-Badger to polish the injured bike and
pay special attention to the Scooter Tramp. They will
be performing these actions in black bikinis to help
with morale. Pictures will be sold at the usual
places/prices.

  A) Anyone caught damaging Gutter property hoping
for the same treatment will be severely punished.
We're talking about an hour of OMWF's end on repeat.
So, put the sledgehammers back in the tool room.

3.) The Koala and me stepped out of the last Executive
Committee meeting for a few minutes to visit 'the tree
on the left' and when we got back we've been elected
to new posts. Now, I have the honor (that's what they
tell me) of being Dark Gremlin's "Link Tester". Our
friend the Koala has been elected to run for President
of the U.S. on the Gutter platform. 

4.) All dwellers are ask to keep a safe distance from
the purring little menance known as Shadow. Dark
Gremlin has set numberous new traps to snare her and
has the SR-71 fueled and waiting for a trip to
California. Advice to all: sit back and watch as
Shadow tries to outmovour the Dark Gremlin.

5.) The Spuffy agent mentioned in number #1 has sicked
the IRS onto the Gutter and Swamp. This is not a cause
for alarm. Just like we practiced it, all dweller are
to hand over the "real" books to the IRS and change
the hiding places for the "copies". Koala, please stop
production of JJ and move all materials to Point Vega
as in you Handbook.

We now release you back to your mayhem... 

=====
Ghrdr
Lurking Gator, Mad Torturer...1st Class, C-I-C of the Viking Pigs, Arch Duke of Hell(in training), Dawn Summer's "Offical Cuddle Gator"

There can be no great genius without a touch of madness, in my case I'm a bit more touched...

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Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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