Disclaimer: Pat owns nothing, Joss is god. Mutant Enemy rules the universe, he’s just playing in it.

Reformation: Reality's Sometimes Unusual

When the sisters went to Willow's and Tara's dorm at ten-thirty the next morning, the redhead was watching her girlfriend sleep, and rewrapping the bandage that covered the hand Glory had crushed. Twitching and moaning, Tara struggled even while asleep. Willow told them she had dozed off at around 3:00, after the sedatives kicked in, and Tara was going to wake up soon, probably screaming. Buffy figured she and Dawn could get lunch and it would be close to twelve when they returned.

They did, and now all four girls were sitting on the bed as Buffy handed out sandwiches. She had just given Willow chicken salad, and couldn't help but notice the blank stare on Tara's face. She still remembered their conversation, how the blonde witch had helped sort things out. An explanation for her and Dawn hadn't presented itself yet, but she embraced the new level like Tara had suggested, and didn't regret it. That didn't mean she stopped searching for an answer, however.

There had to be a reason that the only real, honest laughter she could experience, was with Dawn. It'd been the most she'd laughed since before Joyce got sick. But it wasn't like her friends weren't humorous. The things Anya came out with made her want to crack up, yet she didn't. Though laughing did come easier around her friends when Dawn was there, actually; it was strange. The brunette put the fight back into her, as well as something else. The ability to sleep peacefully was included in that something, which was what Glory was denying Tara.

She owed her--they would get her back. The wicca deserved a "thank you," and so much more. Willow needed her like she needed Dawn.

"Eggplant, that's me..." Buffy said, taking it out and then reaching for another. "Salami with," She looked at the sandwich, "ew, peanut butter? Dawn." She handed it over, smirking.

"Yeah, like eggplant is normal. It's what, half egg, half plant? Cause that's just unnatural." Dawn said in response.

The slayer continued removing food from the bag, including grapes. In case Tara didn't like solids.

"What's Tara got?" Willow asked.

"Oh." Dawn picked up a sandwich. "I...got her tuna. Does she like...?" Buffy stopped unpacking, and watched her sister. "Tara?"

She took the wrapping off the sandwich and showed the lost girl, who looked at Willow unsurely.

"Plastic and their six sisters. Six sick...sick sisters." Tara said, upset. "Willow?"

"It's okay. Let's just start slow today." The redhead said, making sure she stayed calm. "Um, Buffy, could I have that?" She was handed a cup of applesauce and a plastic spoon, which she opened. "Here you go." Carefully, she fed it to her partner. "That's my girl."

Both Summers' looked at the scene with sad expressions, and then at each other. They felt guilty; this shouldn't have happened. And Tara's words made them a little uncomfortable.

"Can I help?" The teenager wanted to be useful, so she worked up the courage.

Willow nodded, and gave her the cup and spoon. Tara was wary, but accepted the food from the new person.

Buffy rubbed her sister's back as her friend looked at her. "What are you gonna need?"

"I don't know. They gave me a lot of stuff to...keep her calm." The witch answered, and then continued, a little quieter. "They said I might have to restrain her at night. But...sometimes she's fine. She looks at me, and...she's fine."

Tara made an unhappy face.

"I'm sorry I couldn't--"

"It's okay. I can do this. I'm gonna take care of her. Even if she never..." Dawn looked at them, pausing in her feeding. "She's my girl."

Buffy could identify. She turned her attention to her sibling, and started to play with a lock of brown hair. Dawn was her world now, was the biggest thing keeping her here. "I understand."

"I know you do." They smiled at one another. "Hear that, baby? You're my always."

Willow kissed her girlfriend on the forehead and smiled. Then suddenly, lunch was abruptly halted as the outside wall of the room was smashed in. Dawn and Buffy jumped up, seeing the sunlight, followed by Glory, who stared at them on the other side of the window frame.

"I told you this wasn't over." The god reminded the slayer.

She had just officially set in motion the beginning of the end, and the girls knew it.

***

This isn't so bad. Really. I mean, all the Scoobies are here, we're in a bumpy RV that Spike's driving (and he's wearing these way lame goggles)...it can't get any cooler than this. Cause I can pretend we're on some wacky camping trip. Like, you know, in those sitcoms? And-and there's always that one guy who tries to set up the tent, but it's funny cause it goes totally wrong, and...uh, never mind. There's not much to do. Buffy...I could see how she's doing. She was so awesome. Right before Glory got flown like, fifty miles, Buffy was like, "Truck." All collected and stuff. Then, WHAM. It was pretty scary up till then, though. We were running...well, Buffy was. I was being carried. Yeah--I know I'm lacking in the stamina department, b-but I can still run longer than old people. So there. Sheesh, cut me a break. Anyway, it was too close.

Now we're on the lamb. I *so* always wanted to say that. K, I'm a little excited, but I'm sure I'll be terrified again soon. Pretty much a guarantee. I don't wanna die. It's not like I have a whole lotta choice, but I still don't wanna. I can't leave Buffy here by herself. Not after Mom. I'm her sister, and even though the word's sorta not definable anymore, I just know she needs me. I head to the back, and slide the door open--better peek first. Uh oh. She's sitting by the window and leaning against the wall, looking all contemplative and sad. That's never good. Stupid destiny. She doesn't deserve this...but she does it. She slays the evil guys. I wonder how many people actually thank her when she saves them? I dunno, but I think it's time I did.

"Hey." I let her know I'm here. "I think Anya's gonna try to cook. Wanna come watch the tears and recriminations?" I joke. Or am I serious?

When it comes to Anya and anything, who knows? I can still make Xander happy, you know. Better than she ever could. I just don't, cause...cause I choose not to. I'm letting her have him. I'm too nice, don'tcha think? But I could. If I wanted. Buffy happy; that's what I want. If being around me gets her that way for now (plus the, um...kissing parts), then I'll go be around her. It's not a difficult job. The one she got stuck with, though? That's the toughest thing ever, *and* there's no pay. How can babysitters make more money than superheroes? Makes zero sense. Whatever. Point is, I like being around her, too (and the, um...kissing parts), so it's win-win.

"Maybe later." She smiles at me, but it's mostly fake.

This is usually when I leave and let her have her heavy thoughts, but she needs to know. Changing my mind, I stay.

"Thanks." How much more direct can I get?

She meets my eyes. "For what?"

"You know," I give her a small smile, "pretty much everything."

She's got her sarcastic face on. "Yeah. I'm doin' a great job."

"You are." Firm and direct again. Good going, Me.

That disbelieving sound you make with your breath? She just made it. What's it called?

"I'm the Slayer. The Chosen One. All mythic and defender-y. Evil nasties are supposed to flee from me. Not the other way around." She tells me, disappointed in herself.

But she's keeping us alive. I like that; it was a smart thing to do.

"You're not fleeing, you're..." Uh. "Moving at a brisk pace." Okay, that was weak.

"Quaintly referred to in some cultures as the big scaredy runaway."

Aww, darn it. She's gotta stop this. I go all the way inside, shut the door, and sit by her. "It's the most amazing thing anyone's ever done for me." I mean that.

She looks away, but I saw how hurt her face is.

"It just keeps coming. Glory...Riley...Tara...Mom." Her voice is crackly from trying not to cry.

I wait a second, cause I'm not sure where to take this. "I know. But there's a bright side."

"There is?" Her eyebrows go up a little.

"At least things can't get any crazier. Right?" I ask, and it sounds good, doesn't it?

I sit on her leg, wait until she faces me, and then I smile. She gets...brighter, almost. Did I do that? When she smiles, that's the real Buffy--that's when I can see why anyone who knows her'll do anything for her. I lean in closer, and she suddenly finds her lap like, neat or something. It still bugs her, probably cause she can't explain it. I won't freak her, then. I start to move, but she puts her hand on my arm and looks at me. There's the smile.

She brushes my hair and tucks some of it behind my ear; she's always gentle when she does, and I bet she wouldn't know what to do if I cut it. "I don't think it gets much crazier than this." She smirks. "Definitely gonna hafta figure stuff out once Glory's out of the picture."

I can't get a word in, because she's kissing me. But it's fine; no complaining here. They're little, quick ones. I just close my eyes, and let her. I gave describing it a shot before, but maybe I should read the dictionary more, cause you probably didn't understand then, and won't now. I miss her lips when they go away, but I open my eyes and smile at her again, so she doesn't feel guilty. Then I put my hands on her cheeks and kiss her forehead softly.

"Do you guys, uh, do th-that often?" Willow asks, stuttering.

Willow!?! Buffy stares at me, I stare at her, and our eyes are like, super-huge as we stare at her best friend. Oh man.

"Will..." Buffy goes first, which works, cause I have no clue what "speaking" is.

"Cause...I-I didn't know that sisters...but I am an only child, so I guess that's why I'm not in the loop on the stuff...that they um, ya know, do. I just thought I was missing out on being able to share clothes." Our favorite redhead is chewing her lip, rocking back and forth, and her hands are hanging down in front of her, with her fingers all touching. "I'm gonna go...back out. Back out there. I'm sorry I...bye."

"Willow, wait..." I say, stopping her from bolting.

I hop off of Buffy and jog over to her, hoping she doesn't zap me or give me hives. I guess she likes that dusty corner of the ceiling, cause she doesn't see me. But it doesn't matter; all I can manage is to clear my throat and hold my teeth together for a nervous smile, looking in her general direction. I'm kinda glad when the spear crashes through the window. Fear's great for distracting.

***

The floor's cold. Everything like, happened at warp speed. The Knights, the crash, the gas station, Giles, Ben, Willow being all quiet...and then Ben's Glory and takes me here, away from Buffy. And now I'm gonna be responsible for Hell coming to Earth. Maybe if I say sorry to God or whoever, He'll go easy on me. Doubt it, though. I heard that General guy--I'm an ancient, mysterious, bad to the bone and full of wrath, thing. When he looked at me, I wasn't human. I was a thing to him, and even though he's right, Buffy still stood up for me. Am I really worth it? She's in pain; I can feel it, and it's my fault. Please be okay.

Why am I hugging this pillar? I turn slowly. Oh yeah. I don't wanna look at Glory's lackeys, with their big noses and stupid, beady eyes. Gross.

"Leave. We need a little girl time." When I hear her voice, I get angry, but I don't look. "Goodbye!"

I can hear the minions hurry to leave; they scuffle, kinda. They're way beyond whipped. I finally look at her, and glare. I glare as hard as I can. I hate her. But if she didn't want me, I wouldn't be existing, so...oh! And she's acting like she's stressed, rubbing her neck and all. *She's* stressed?

"How do they do it?" She asks me.

I wanna ignore her, but she's a god who could snap any second, so my brain says I should answer her. "Do what?" I don't recognize my voice.

"People!" She exclaims, frustrated. She's coming closer. "How do they function here like this in the world with all this bile running through them? Every day it's whoo-oo," She does this weird thing with her hand to go along with her noise, proving how totally nuts she is, "you have no control. They're not even animals; they're just these meatbaggy slaves to-to hormones and pheromones and their-and their feelings. Hate 'em!"

I can see that. Uh huh.

She goes behind the table, which means she's not coming near me. Thank God. The good one--or, uh...ones.

"I mean really." She rants some more. "Is this what the poets go on about, this?" She hits her chest, ya know, where her heart would be if she had one, shakes her head, and sighs. "Call me crazy, but as hard-core drugs go, human emotion is just useless! People are puppets! Everyone getting jerked around by what they're feelin'. Am I wrong?" She looks at me, inquisitive. She can act nice, but she's a psycho. "Really, I want to know."

I don't know what to say, and she's impatient. Next thing I know, she's kneeling in front of me and smiling, with her hands on my head. "Hey, you know what? Since I'm just gonna bleed you, I guess I can take a quick look-see and find the answer for myself. Don't mind, do ya? Sanity really isn't all it's cracked up to be, anyway."

"No, don't, I'll--" I clench my eyes shut...

...

…

Help!

I suck in a sharp breath, sobbing. I can still think? But I thought...? Oh God. I'm holding my head. Her fingers were...inside...like she was tearing it apart...I know how Tara felt, now. I'm sorry, Tara. I didn't know. I just want this to be over...where's Glory? I open my eyes, and then move my hands so I can see. I have to blink the water out; I can't find her. Wait. There. She's at the other end of the room, massaging her head. There's a crack in the wall she's leaning up against.

"Whew! That's some protection you got, Dawnie. Now I know you'll fit in the lock for sure." She tells me. I'm crying, still, and she rolls her eyes. "Oh cheer up; you get to keep your brain, okay? Coulda been worse, ya know. You could be like those drooling flesh-sticks who're out there," She points, "building our special tower. Sweetie, you're a lucky girl, so be grateful while you can, cause you won't be sticking around much longer." She gets to her feet, and smiles at me. "Know what I found out before your rude, little brain decided it didn't wanna play fair?"

"What?" I ask. Can't she not talk for like, five minutes?

"How big of a perv you are!" She laughs. "I can't believe her. She should really know better. I mean, is she that desperate? Pathetic! And here I thought that being the 'Slayer' meant she had standards. What kind of a role model is she?" Glory's taunting me. "She's just as screwy as the rest of 'em."

"Shut up." I say, harshly. "You have no idea what you're talking about. You don't know her a-at all; I do."

"Yeah, a little too well." She snorts. "What did those nasty monkies do to you two?" I stay silent. "But see? This is what I'm getting at. I look around at this world you're so eager to be a part of...and all I see is six billion lunatics looking for the fastest ride out. Including your big sis." She smiles. "Who's not crazy? Look around. Everyone's drinking, smoking, shooting up...shooting each other, or just plain screwing their brains out cause they don't want 'em anymore. And this love thing? They obviously look for it in the wrong places, so what's the point?" That was meant for me. "*I'm* crazy? Honey, I'm the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind." She sighs. "Cause at least I admit the world makes me nuts. Once Buffy realizes that, this'll be a lot easier on her."

"She'll beat you." I want Glory to lose, and for the first time, I think Buffy'll come save me, and we'll win. "She will."

The god frowns, making her look sad. "That's so brave." But then she's back to looking mean. "Grow up, kid."

Where are you, Buffy?

***

The slayer sat in Xander and Anya's bedroom, unresponsive, trapped inside of her own mind. The instant she ran from the gas station, seeing the carnage Glory left behind and realizing that her sister was long gone, she understood everything. What Dawn being a part of her meant, why the kissing felt the way it did, and what her guide had meant in the desert. All the pieces explained the puzzle, and Tara's hints made sense. Unfortunately that realization caused her to retreat within herself, leaving Willow to attempt to bring her out, not knowing what to expect.

She'd trailed her friend through memory and abstract thought she couldn't put together. Watching Buffy smother Dawn with her bed pillow, she had gasped as the brunette's still body transformed into the blonde, making two Buffys; the one on the mattress then came to life, saying death was her gift. She had gone to the desert, seeing Buffy talk to the First Slayer, had watched Buffy and Dawn curled up together on their couch at home, had gone to the Magic Box to view Buffy placing a book on a shelf, and had also gone to a house, where a five-year-old Buffy met her newly born, baby sister. These scenes kept replaying, and she was no closer to a solution.

Back at the house again, it was empty for the time being. Willow had a feeling that this was somehow related to what she'd caught the two sisters doing in the RV--felt guilty about that. Her first thought? Buffy was confused, reaching out for an extra level of companionship because Riley was gone. Both had been forced to confront so much lately, and that probably forced them to stick together, which could cause...not normal behavior. Siblings' kissing in a romantic way wasn't a normal thing. She knew that was society talking, but weren't those types of relationships always traumatic and mentally damaging? Buffy was in a coma, wasn't she?

There was something else, though. She wouldn't attack her friend; she was just concerned. And did Dawn--?

"Hi, Willow." Little Girl Buffy said, coming out of nowhere.

What she saw gave her pause. The younger version was being held by the adult version she called a friend, who had face paint on, like the First Slayer. Before she could say anything, their parents walked into the house, right up to the two blondes.

"Hi, girls." Hank Summers greeted them, warmly.

Joyce Summers smiled at the tiny one. "Have you been playing nice with your big sister, Dawn?"

But that was...Huh?

"Buffy, what...?" Willow began to ask, and then found herself back in the Magic Box standing next to one Buffy, while the other kept putting that book on that shelf. "Right here, it happened. I know it's something small, but...it's something. What?"

"Don't go there, Will." Buffy Number One, advised her.

"I'm not! You're the one who keeps dragging me back here!" The witch insisted. "A-and you wouldn't be doing that if you weren't trying to show me something."

"Do I?" The second Buffy, by the shelf, questioned.

"Buffy, come on. I-it's your brain--just tell me. What happened here?"

"This was when I quit, Will." The one standing next to her, revealed.

"You did?" Willow's eyebrows scrunched.

"Just for a second." Number Two added.

"I remember. I was in the magick shop." Number One went on.

"I put a book back for Giles." Number Two continued.

"Nothing special about it. And then it hit me." Number One took over.

"What hit you?" Willow asked.

"I can't beat Glory." Number Two said.

"Glory's going to win." Number One re-enforced.

"You can't know that." The redhead told them.

"I didn't just know it." Number Two turned to her.

"I felt it. Glory will beat me." Number One was positive.

"And in that second of knowing it, Will..." Number Two looked back at the shelf.

"I wanted it to happen." Number One admitted. "I wanted it over. This is...all of this...it's too much for me."

"I just wanted it over." Number Two said.

"If Glory wins...then Dawn dies. And so would I." Number One told Willow, who stared at her, oddly. "She's not just made from me, she is me. A part of me. That part of me that's still the girl you knew in high school--the human being who can laugh at jokes, and love."

"The Monks." Number Two spoke. "They did it, and they probably had no clue."

"They didn't know they were using more than my blood to make Dawn real." Number One finished.

"When Dawn and I kiss, it's like I'm connecting with the missing piece. Without that, I'm just the Slayer." Number Two said.

"I can't feel whole without it." Number One told the still perplexed visitor.

Number Two nodded. "Neither can she. It's why Riley left. Dawn didn't like him, and if all of me couldn't, then there was no hope."

"But Dawn and I...the world wouldn't accept it." Number One said.

"Can I?" Number Two wondered.

"You don't." They both looked at Willow, speaking in unison.

"So it's better if it's over. Imagine what a relief it would be." Number One smiled.

"I killed Dawn in that second. I killed myself." Number Two concluded.

Willow frowned. "Because you can't live without her. Literally."

"She can live without me." Buffy, the only one there now, said cryptically.

"Okay," Willow breathed deeply, "all the Dawn stuff? I get that it's important, but I'll be honest--I don't totally get it. I could never not like you, though." She paused, smiling lightly. "But this really has to wait, cause I need you to snap out of it. Or else we're *all* gonna die." The slayer's forehead creased at this news.

***

Buffy was in the Magic Box for real now, with her friends, and they were going over what Spike and Xander had found. Willow had done it, had convinced her that neither she nor Dawn were dead yet, and that it didn't have to turn out that way, if she didn't want it to. The culprit had been guilt, and she'd certainly been experiencing that a whole bunch. Partly because of how the kissing made her feel, but also, as her mind showed her, a part of her had also known why it felt...how it felt. She did love her, but she had guilt about using Dawn to try and be complete, even though there'd been no forcing.

None of that mattered unless she could save her, and she would, regardless of any and all costs. "Explain it again." She requested of her watcher.

"There's nothing new to--"

"Go through it again."

The tension was thick in the air as he removed his glasses. "The Key was...living energy. It needed to be channeled, poured into a specific place at a specific time. The energy...would flow into that spot, the walls between the dimensions break down. It stops, the energy's used up, the walls come back up. Glory uses that time to get back into her own dimension, not caring that all manner of Hell will be unleashed on Earth in the meantime."

"Um, but only for a little while, right? The walls come back up, uh, n-no more Hell?" Anya hopefully inquired.

"That's only if the energy is stopped. And now the key is human..." Willow looked at Buffy; she was the only one amongst the group who knew how vital her sister was to her. "...is Dawn."

Giles read from the book that was on the table he sat at. "'The blood flows, the gates will open. The gates will close when it flows no more.' When Dawn is dead."

It didn't add up. Every bone in Buffy's body was telling her, "If Dawn dies, you die," and they didn't mean in the emotional sense. Then Dawn dying to close the gates had to kill her in the process, so...did the world want her dead? Was Willow wrong? Was it time for a new slayer, and she had run her course? What was missing?

"I have places to be!" Tara exclaimed suddenly from her chair, breaking everyone's train of thought.

They just went forward with the discussion.

"Why blood? Why Dawn's blood? I mean, why couldn't it be like a-a lymph ritual?" Xander wondered.

"Cause it's always got to be blood." Spike explained.

"We're not actually discussing dinner right now." The younger, human male quipped.

"Blood is life, lackbrain. Why do you think we eat it? It's what keeps you going. Makes you warm. Makes you hard. Makes you other than dead." The vampire said the next thing quieter. "Course it's her blood."

"Pretty simple math here." The slayer rationalized. "We stop Glory before she can start the ritual. We still have a couple of hours, right?"

"If my calculations are right." Giles agreed. "But Buffy--"

"I don't wanna hear it." She turned away, ignoring him.

"I understand that--" Just beginning to say that, was a mistake.

She whirled back around. "No! No, you don't understand. We are not talking about this."

"Yes, we bloody well are!" He rose from the chair, yelling. It took a moment for the gang to recover, and then he composed himself, speaking calmly. "If Glory begins the ritual...if we can't stop her..."

"Come on. Say it." She dared him. "We're bloody well talking about this. Tell me to kill my sister."

Whispered, "She's not your sister."

"No. She's not." Came the concession. "She's more than that. She's me. The monks made her out of me. I hold her...and I feel closer to her than..." She looked down, sighing. Willow's eyes were on her, and she didn't want to say too much. "It's not just the memories they built, and it's not even just the physical. Dawn...is a part of me. The only part that I--" That's why she stopped herself.

The redhead moved to stand next her, shooting Giles a glare. "We'll solve this. We will. Don't have another coma, okay?" They smiled at each other.

"If the ritual starts, then every living creature in this and every other dimension imaginable will suffer unbearable torment and death," The Englishman had to make this clear, "including Dawn."

"Then the last thing she'll see is me protecting her." Buffy swore.

"You'll fail. You'll die. We all will." He turned from the table, and his slayer.

"I'm sorry." She told the people gathered in the store, sincerely. "I love you all...but I'm sorry."

Dawn came first--before them, before herself.

***

I wanna laugh when Buffy pushes "Creepy Suit Guy" off the tower, but I've been chained up here forever, and everywhere aches. There's lightning, it's windy...and I don't like being up this high, or what Glory made me wear. Ceremonial dress my butt. It's kinda like something those princesses in fairytales would have, which would be neat, if it wasn't so ugly and cheap. I wouldn't care how cute the knight is, or that he rescued me from a fire-breathing dragon, or that we were gonna live happily ever after, cause if he wanted me to wear this dress for the wedding? I'd be so out of there. Back to the humongoid, monster, lizard dude, probably. Yep, scales and all. It might talk like the one in that movie, so at least we could have conversations. And I'd never be cold in the winter.

I saw them all rush in, here to save me. Buffy was back, and she started wiping the floor with everybody. I told her Buffy would do it. Betcha she wished she'd listened. Ha! I figured all I had to do was wait, cause I wasn't in danger anymore. Glory blabbed all about my blood opening the portal, but she was down, so nothing was gonna happen. I started humming that "Kung Fu Fighting" song as I watched Buffy whack Glory with the troll hammer. Take that! And that! A god? Sorry, I'm like, not impressed. Then "Creepy Suit Guy" (didn't he say his name was Doc? What's he the doctor of? Large, creepy tongues? Disgusting!) shows up outta nowhere and cuts me. Oww.

Spike tried to get him, but he fell off. I hope he's all right. Buffy's getting me loose, though. I look down at my feet. They're all bloody and gross.

"Buffy, it hurts." I tell her. Not exaggerating.

"I got it. Come here. You're gonna be okay." She assures me, helping me across the platform. Ooh, she's limping. Then I freeze. "Go!"

My feet are all bloody. Blood. Dripping. No. When did it...? I can see the portal getting bigger. It's not fair!

"Buffy, it's started." I say, my voice breaking. She looks with me, and I know I have tears going down my face. I messed up. "I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter." She says, comfortingly. I can't think much, but I know what I hafta do. I won't let her down; I won't let the world go to Hell. I won't. I run past her. Hey! She's stopping me at the edge. "What are you doing?"

"I have to jump. The energy." I explain to her.

"It'll kill you. It'll kill me." She reveals.

"What do you mean?" I ask. There isn't time!

"You die, I die. If I..." She gets this "a lightbulb just went on" look. "If I jump, you live."

I shake my head; she can't mean... "Buffy, no." I say, softly.

"Dawnie, I have to." She's set on doing my job. "You're so young. You can still have a life, something I didn't. I want that for you."

"No!" I argue, and she grabs me below my shoulders and looks me in the eye.

This isn't right. I need her--doesn't she know that? I look around us. These demon things are already like, crossing over. I'm scared.

"Listen to me. Please, Dawn. There's not a lot of time, listen. I love you. I will *always* love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles...tell Giles I figured it out. And-and I'm okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world...is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me."

I love you, too. I wanna scream, I wanna fight her...I wanna not say goodbye. I don't want this, but I'm crying and she's brushing her hand across my cheek. She's gonna jump, and I can't do anything. Damn it! Her lips brush against mine, and then she runs her fingers over my face, like I've seen blind people do. Like she's memorizing it by feeling it. It just makes me cry more, and I hug her around the waist. She lays my head on her chest; I'm not the only one crying now. For a second, I think maybe it'll go different, but she takes my arms away and runs the other direction, diving off as I yell her name. It looks so...graceful. I watch her fall.

Oh...wait! I get it! I don't know how, and I don't care, I just get it. I've got parts of her in me; parts that have nothing to do with blood. Yeah, Buffy was right about what would happen to her if I died, but that was only if it happened before I did what I need to do. I'm the Key--I open the portal, and I have to close it. That's my job. She can, but I *have* to. Everything'll go back to the way it was. Before me. It'll be like hitting the reset button on a PlayStation. I won't exist anymore, but Buffy'll be safe and whole again, and she won't miss me, cause she's supposed to be an only child. I love her, she doesn't deserve to die, and she's not gonna. Not if I hurry.

Deep breath. Get rid of the tears, Dawn. K, here we go. I close my eyes and then leap into the light. Is this falling? Feels like floating. I want her happy. Can I just end up somewhere nice? I wouldn't mind an eternity with apple trees and cute, Labrador puppies...pretty please?

***

The Powers That Be had been keeping track of the last seven months with interest. The monks played their role bravely. They were told to give the Key a home in a human body and send it to the Slayer, losing their lives in the process. The result was a girl with innocence, imagination, emotion, and personality; even though she was always thought of as a temporary reality, she became a life with a name. Dawn. In her short existence, the normally emotionless Powers found themselves attached to the girl. It rarely happened, but when it did, they considered doing things they normally wouldn't allow themselves to do. Like interfering.

At the start, Dawn was referred to as "just another means to an end" that would help Buffy Summers either triumph over, or fall to, the Hell-god, Glorificus. Every path, every eventuality was examined and prepared for. Or so they had believed. They knew there would be emotional ties between her and the Key--it was necessary to give the Slayer motivation. But due to a lack of time, the monks' recitation of the spell was not entirely correct, and therefore, Buffy had parts of her spirit transferred to the human form of the Key, leading to intriguing results. The effects of powerful magicks still remained unpredictable, even after eons of witnessing them.

Implanted memories helped Dawn's transition into a world she wasn't meant for, but strangely, Buffy didn't become emotionally invested in her "sister" until discovering the truth. Her prior attitude was that Dawn was an annoying brat who wanted to wreck her every moment of peace and quiet. Teenage siblings were tiring. But from Glorificus' first appearance on the Hellmouth, through the mother's death, up until the end just now, the closeness between them grew and grew...to the point of romantic leanings. Were Buffy's two halves simply trying to connect? That was a primary reason for the physical contact, but human nature (and the race in general), was a mysterious force. Perhaps underneath, there was a simpler answer.

Love and attraction. Which couldn't be justified in a world where biological family wasn't encouraged to have those feelings. However, the Powers cared not for human restrictions; any further development beyond them wouldn't impede their attempts to gain ground in the eternal, tug of war.

What concerned them was maintaining certain universal constants and balances. Dawn was right. They had intended, if she jumped, to erase the temporary reality that was in place, and restore the proper one. Joyce Summers never gave birth to a second daughter, so Buffy was never meant to have a sister. Just a "means to an end." Fourteen years of memories had to go, a spirit had to be returned, and a life would be spared, thanks to Dawn's choice. In order to fix the falsities, it was the way things had to be. But because both sacrificed themselves for the other, and because they plain liked the spunky teen, they decided to step in. Emotion was getting the better of them, for once--a consequence of working with emotional creatures.

The fake, fourteen years were just that: Fake. The previous seven months did happen, though, so this was what they were going to do. Seeing as they would've had to reshape memories anyhow, having Dawn suddenly absent after being present for so long, they'd just make the girl a permanent fixture in the world. Buffy and the others would remember her entering their lives just after Dracula's departure, being her own person, with her own separate history. The energy of the Key would be removed (it served its purpose), and she would be human. The Powers anticipated slight confusion as the new memories came in of course, but the world would adjust. True, they weren't changing everything back exactly as it had been, but the important aspects were being set right.

It was a big decision they were making--the next time they'd take direct action, well...it'd be quite a while.

Buffy deserved this, had earned this, and so had Dawn. They listened, saw. The Slayer had proven herself yet again, even with the passing of her mother and the overall turmoil that had nagged at her. This was a small reward for her service. She needed someone, especially with the new responsibilities she'd have now. Living alone, being alone, was not the way to success, and they wanted this slayer to succeed. Friends, father figures...could only give so much. They looked forward to observing their fighters, having high expectations. They'd learned not to underestimate Buffy Summers and her team of willing allies.

With a mere thought, the ancient beings' will was carried out, and along with accomplishing larger goals, Buffy and Dawn's relationship ceased to be as...limiting, in terms of possibilities. Then they shifted their attentions to another dimension all together. The vampire's future still worried them, but they took comfort in the fact that he also had a supportive group behind him. He'd soon receive a small, complicated reward of his own, come to think of it. Who ever said formless, good, all-powerful, god-like entities couldn't be generous?

***

Wheeze. I cough on the dust as I open my eyes, and I'm looking up at the tower. We fell from *there*!? How the frickin' hell are we still alive? We are both still alive...aren't we? I turn my head just as Buffy sits up, groaning, shaking more dust from her hair. Then her eyes roll up toward the sky. She sees me, points up, then points to us, and I nod. I know her faces pretty good now--we're both lost. I didn't think we were cartoons, but falling makes you go splat, and if you're human, you're usually not okay after that. I guess since I'm not squeaking up and down like an accordion...okay, so I might watch 'em, still. What's wrong with that? Tons of sixteen-year-olds love the Looney Tunes, we're just in the closet about it.

Focus. I'm guessing we got, uh...real lucky? Buffy gets up, brushes her hands on her pants, and then helps me up. Hugging. There's hugging now. Yeah, I am lucky.

"You okay?" She asks me. "We should be--"

"Shh!" I interrupt her. Doesn't she realize what she almost did? "You'll jinx it! The universe could change its mind, ya know." She smacks her forehead, smiling. "Why'd you...? You still barely know me." Less than a year, if you wanna get technical.

"But I've grown fond of you." Fond of me? She's fond of me? If I wasn't so tired and afraid of being a dufus, I'd dance. "I do crazy things for people I'm fond of."

Then I stare at her. "But there was no reason for you to follow me in."

"Sure there was. I didn't want you to die." I'm blushing; she really is awesome. "I didn't know if you were gonna disappear with the portal or what, but I thought if I could grab you at the right second, I'd save you and it would still close. S'what I'm supposed to do--save people. Besides, I don't always think rationally."

"But you could've died." I say.

She sighs. "Didn't bother me at the time."

"How bout now?" Please be fine, please be fine...

"All things considered..." She pauses. "This 'life' thing isn't so bad; I'm feeling good. Who knows? Might even upgrade to 'great' with you around." Aww...wait, she's making "revolted face." "Just sounded like the robot, didn't I?"

"Tiny bit." I grin.

We smile at each other as the gang comes over. She's been so cool to me; she's my best friend, doesn't treat me like a kid or anything. I don't have many friends at school yet, still "The New Kid," so I gotta deal with Kirsty. Don't get me started on her. What a bit...hey, why are they all looking at me like that?

"Are you both all right?" Giles asks, even though he looks like he's trying to figure out who I am.

"We're good. Little confused about the laws of physics, but..." Buffy notices, too. Then it's not just me and my imagination. "What's wrong with you guys?"

"You're..." Xander's shaking his finger at me. Looks like he's gonna overload his brain. "I know I know this; just gimmie a second, I'll get it." He snaps his fingers. "Dawn! You're Dawn!"

Buffy looks at him, weirded out. "And the prize for stating the obvious goes to..."

I chuckle.

"Sorry, Buff." He smiles guiltily. "But it's like, I dunno, someone unfilled the blanks, and now they're getting filled in again. But real slow. It's kinda wig-worthy." The rest of them are nodding, and then he squints. "She's not your sister, is she?"

"I thought I was the only one in a coma recently?" She tells them, sarcastically. But when...? What coma? "No, Xand. I don't have a sister; you know that. Dawn came to live with my mom and I right after you got done 'Don Kinging' for Dracula," He's cringing, "and we adopted, remember?"

"Yeah..." It's coming back, I think, but I'm a little hurt that they just forgot about me in the last couple minutes.

I'm really glad I'm here. I realize that as I tune out the talking, because before I came, I felt so out of place. I don't remember my real parents; I was adopted like, right from the hospital's nursery. That's what my "dad" told me, and he said it was still hard for him to speak English then, so he wasn't sure he'd get me. He was from overseas--Checkers, Checkbook...Czech. The Czech Republic, that's it. He told me seven months ago that he'd gotten citizenship over here, a job, a place...just to be there when I came along. He was a monk, sent to protect me by his monk buddies. How'd he know when I was gonna be born?

I was clueless about that when I was growing up, though. We lived in this town called Fairfield. It's in upstate California; Sunnydale's farther down. He was always nice to me, took care of me, got me in school...but now I know that I was a mission more than a daughter, to him. Seven months ago he picked me up from my old school, pale. Something had scared him, but he wouldn't tell me what. I didn't get to say goodbye to my friends; we drove right to the bus station. That's where he told me about him being a monk, about me being "special," and how I was gonna go to a place where there was somebody who could protect me better. I'd be pulled out of school, but he had to stay behind and hold "It," off. He gave me a big, yellow envelope, a bag of my things that he'd packed, and a bus ticket for Sunnydale. The last thing he said was how precious I was to the world. I never saw him again.

The envelope had Buffy's address on the front, and when the bus stopped, I headed straight there. I was freaking out. All of the sudden I was in a new town where I didn't know anybody, or what was going on. I knocked on the door, and Buffy answered. She was beautiful. I was too afraid to say anything, so I just handed her the envelope as her mother walked up next to her. I stood on the porch with my eyes to the ground while they read whatever was in it, and when they were finished they invited me in. I found out later that it was a note to Buffy from my "dad" about me being The Key, plus my adoption records and birth certificate.

None of us knew what to do. Buffy and me made small talk while her mom called the adoption agency to ask what the deal was, then when that was over, Buffy called Giles. It was a whole day before the place had any answers. They'd tried to get a hold of my "dad," but he didn't pick up, so they called the cops. He was at home...Glory had killed him. I was in shock for a while--that night I cried, but Buffy was with me. I knew him my whole life, you know? She told her mom to try and get custody of me, cause she said they couldn't let anyone else take me. She was being so nice, and Joyce was, too (calling her that felt like, wrong somehow). All the legal stuff was handled, I guess, because Joyce got custody, and Giles agreed to accept responsibility for me in case something happened. So yeah...he's my guardian now.

I thought Buffy was gonna start thinking of me as her little sister, and that woulda sucked. She didn't--we hung out, she told me about her friends and her boyfriend (who was such a jackass turd, but I was sad for her when he left) and who she was. A super-strong, vampire slayer. I like, idolized her, then. She cleared out the storage room upstairs, and we decorated it together--definitely became my room. Took a lot of planning. With blueprints, even. We went shopping with Willow and Tara (they're the cutest), and we'd have movie nights and talk for hours. Then Joyce, who was the best mom--considering, I mean, I never had one--enrolled me. Fun over. But Buffy helped, and completely covered for me when I got vamp-napped. The crush I had was huge and insane. Everyone thinks it's Xander or Spike, but that's just for show.

When Joyce died, it was the worst. I felt so sorry for Buffy. She had her as a mom for twenty years, and then...poof. It hurt so much, and I wanted to bring her back, which was a major mistake. The first time I kissed Buffy was on the floor of the foyer that night; she didn't notice, but I was just glad I could be there for her like she'd been for me. Then one night, Giles came over to make us dinner. They both finally told me why I was "special"--I was born with this "Key" energy inside of me that a god wanted to use. After I was done coping (appetite *gone*), he said he trusted Buffy to provide for me if I wanted to stay there and not move in with him...I wanted. When he left we were on the couch, and she kissed me with no warning. I didn't think she would ever...feel that the way about me, and it was amazing.

But with all that was going on, she thought she was messed up, and pretended it never happened. We had our first fight a couple days later. I told her how long I had wanted her to do that, and that she wasn't screwing up a minor. I'm mature for my age; if she started acting like I was just a kid, I was gonna die. Things were cool between us afterwards, but it got left hanging until we were on the RV. In the back, she told me how funny and sweet and, yunno, hot I was--I think she actually said, "pretty," but...synonyms. She thought she was maybe, falling for me. She said that with me she didn't feel like she had to be multiple people, or be tough all the time; she could just be herself. Then she made a crack about how strange her love life was. It was a good thing I was sitting down...my legs were slushy. Then we seriously kissed, and Willow walked in on us. I was hyperventilating. It was awkward. Awkward to infinity, plus add about fifty billion.

Things seemed like they sped up then, because the next thing I knew, I was up on that tower. Now I'm on the ground, and the blanks look like they're filling in.

"Are you all caught up now?" Buffy asks the group in a stern, teacher-ish voice.

"Yes." They all echo, ashamed, and then apologize. These people are so goofy.

"Don't worry about it." I tell them. "Long day and all."

That gets them laughing tiredly, and Xander puts Anya down, so we can take turns hugging. We're grateful to be breathing.

"Another day, another apocalyptic battle won." He announces.

And Buffy exhales, putting her arm around me. "Ready to get outta here?"

"What about Ben? Uh, I mean Glory." Willow wonders, with Tara's head on her shoulder. She's back to normal.

"He'll be found." Giles says, trudging away from the tower. Is he okay?

We start following him, but Buffy and I stick with Tara and Willow, while Xander and Anya go a little faster.

"Buffy?" Willow asks. We both turn our heads, but keep walking. "Sorry about my non-reaction before." She means the kiss she saw, obviously.

"Have you decided on one yet?" Buffy's scared of the answer. Me too.

"You know how I feel." Tara speaks up, sounding tired; Buffy smiles at her. When did they talk? Looks like Willow didn't know, either. "If it's what you both want, if it makes you happy? Then it's a good thing."

Tara's so sweet. I'm gonna hafta get her like, a "Glad You're Better" gift. Buffy's four years older than me, but being older doesn't immediately mean more together. You can be ancient and still be a dumb ass, or there're teenage prodigies like me. What am I a prodigy in? Uh, well...take your pick. *Anyway*, it's not like she's a forty-year-old sicko, doing something I want to not happen. I say, yeah, please happen.

Willow's just been staring at us, but now she's smiling. "I'm with my girl." She grins. "I know what it's like to be blindsided by a really good feeling." The witches smile at each other. Cute! "Maybe we're abnormal, but I like abnormal. Boo status-quo." She sticks her tongue out, and Tara's kinda eyein' it. "At least you're not sisters."

Buffy and I raise our eyebrows.

***

The girls automatically headed for the living room couch, too exhausted to combat the stairs, and an audible squeak greeted them when they slouched against cushions. Buffy wasn't going to let bills, employment, or returning to college, concern her right now; the few hours of night left would lack worries. Looking at the person beside her, mouth corners curved upwards as if agreeing to that. They couldn't help feeling the way they did--it was what it was. Over the next, two years, they'd have to confront people's objections, though she didn't doubt the genuineness even a moment. She began rubbing her thumb in circles on the back of Dawn's neck.

Dawn took the initiative, not wanting to waste an opportunity, and kissed the slayer with enthusiasm, running her tongue along the older girl's lips in an effort to get them open. Buffy was surprised at her boldness, but certainly didn't deny access. She was falling in love. With someone who knew what they were doing. The pair leaned forward to better focus on the enjoyable activity, when out of the corner of a hazel eye, bloody feet were spotted. The girl walked all the way home like that? Contact broke reluctantly and Dawn frowned, tucking a stray lock behind her ear.

Having an unobstructed view of that seemingly insignificant body part, as well as flushed features, Buffy reminded herself "slow" had to be the mantra. "Why didn't you tell me I forgot about injuries?" She discovered her voice. "Lemme grab the kit."

"Wait, no, I feel..." The teen started to say as her nerve endings kicked in. "Oh, hey, ow--there's the pain. Bout time."

The blonde hurried to the kitchen, soaked a paper towel in the sink and came back with the First Aid kit, kneeling in front of her patient. "Hang on, okay? Try not to move." She gingerly wiped the red off so she could see the flesh beneath, and Dawn involuntarily squirmed, holding in laughter. "Ticklish?" She smiled.

Mumbled, "Mm-hmm." But her reactions weren't just from being tickled.

"Almost done." Buffy promised. There. Clean. Then ignoring the butterflies she tore away the dress where the dagger had sliced. "Good, the cuts aren't deep. Stopped bleeding already, too." Dawn gasped when she put the disinfectant cream on, but she concentrated and managed to bandage her without incident. "Finished. You can start healing now."

"I've always been fast at it. By the time I realize I have a paper-cut? Not there anymore." Dawn lamely joked, much to her dismay. "Um, I should probably get changed, huh? Don't go anywhere, though."

The slayer sat the kit and towel on the table, and then reclaimed her seat on the sofa as Dawn found the energy to race upstairs. Returning wearing, safely, a t-shirt and sweats, the brunette cozied up to her lap. Sitting facing her, she allowed Buffy's right arm to ensnare her waist, while the left hand stroked her long strands of hair.

"You have school tomorrow?"

"Nope. Sunday." The student was grateful for weekends. "But what do I tell them? 'Sorry for being absent, I got kidnapped by a god last week, what I miss?'"

"We'll make Giles write the note. Believe it or not, he does have an imagination." Buffy grinned. "Well, we know my calendar's wide open, so d'you wanna go out for breakfast tomorrow? Unless you have morning plans..."

Dawn shook her head that she didn't, not wanting to appear overly excited, despite being already mentally there. "I think Amanda and Janice mighta bought it when I said I was going to Mexico to get sold into prostitution...I can be free for pancakes." She tapped Buffy's nose. "But you'll find a job, I know you will. We'll check the paper. I'll help with whatever, I promise. And college--" A finger was put to her lips.

"Later. You had the right idea a few minutes ago." Dawn took the hint.

Kissing resuming, their muffled noises appeared to fill every inch of empty space around them. An unusual turn of events to be sure, but given the girls' histories, this was one turn they weren't disappointed with. In reality, expected, ideal partners often didn't exist, or simply fell through. Right ones came from the unexpected. Could this work in the long run? Didn't know for sure, but they'd have fun finding out. What mattered was they were happy as a result of their choice now.

Was more than just the physical side that did it--good thing, too. Air supplies had to be replenished; they broke apart to rest for a bit. It was new. Understandably they tried to experience things all at once; however, there was tomorrow, the day after, next week...plenty of time. Dawn leaned back into Buffy, sighing contentedly. To her, it was as if life had finally started. To her girlfriend, this was a second chance at getting love right. Sitting together comfortably, they welcomed the peacefulness.

"Think there's anything good on TV?" Buffy asked.

"Cops? We could laugh at the hopped up white trash and try to guess where their stashes are. Those loony maroons." Yes, Bugs Bunny was a major influence.

The slayer exhaled. "Means I'd have to search for the remote."

"Oops." The younger girl realized. "Forget that, then."

"S'forgotten." They eventually fell asleep, right there on the couch.

FIN

FIC: 02Reformation: Reality's Sometimes Unusual (Pat Kelly)