Re: FIC: Nocturnal Interludes: Secundus

["jab21kill" <the.evil.guy@xxxxxxxxxx>]

Amazingly, I read your entire, so far, Roman series.  The 
beginning "Janus...","Eros...", and even "Terminus..."  Then the 
series, which is actually about two weeks as near as I can tell, of 
the 4th Season, until we get to Nocturnal Interludes: Secundus, 
which makes it either three weeks, or even more weeks...

That different format of making it look like an actually typed 
journal, while very good on the 'make believe its real' part, was 
very confusing.

Good... but very confusing.

Maybe I just don't get Willow-babble, or maybe I just really can't 
stand panicked-Willowbabble.  Because, I noticed, that's what about 
three quarters of the entire 'Secundus' series is, panicked 
Willowbabble.

It's a GREAT story!  I love it, and you're concept of the 'Feral', 
that I *really* like, but the only thing I care to fault you, is 
that because of the panicked Willowbabble, it is very hard to follow 
what's happening.

Not to mention the love scenes could be made a little spicier, but 
that's just me.

Fitting in Willow's magic, without it being a main point for the 
story, in a B/W shipper, is a very rare thing I've found.  
Typically, for whatever bizarro reason, unless Willow's magic is a 
main plot point for the story they're writing, most people tend to 
make Willow... well a stereotypical "Girl" with a superhero 
boyfriend, girlfriend in these cases.

You do a part of that, again panicked Willowbabble, but you redeemed 
yourself from total condemnation by having Willow do some killer 
kickass magic.

And I thought it was 'Buffalo in a China Shop..."

<shrug>  Whatever.

Great story, MH!

;>

-- Joshua




Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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