Fic: Tomorrow Night and Always 1/2 Vampire Stories B/W/X NC17

[Crys Loch <pagansoul@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Title:  Tomorrow Night and Always

Series: Vampire Stories, story 1

Author:  C.L.

Email:  pagansoul@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx <mailto:pagansoul@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>

Feedback:  Yes, please.

Distribution:  I have no site.  If you have my other works, feel free.  
If you want, ask and I'll probably say yes.

Spoilers:  Takes place just past 'Chosen'.  All things canon and implied 
are fair game.

Rating:  NC-17

Pairing:  B/W/X

Disclaimer:  I did not create, nor do I own the characters or their 
premise.  Joss Whedon did and does.  This is for fan fun and no profit.

Summery:  Pillow Talk was a dream.  A beginning of what should have 
been.  This series is a requiem to a dream.  Life isn't fair.

One Last Thing:  Death is also a beginning.  Please notice the title of 
the series and be kinda warned.





Tomorrow Night and Always

By C.L.



It'd been a few days since the end of Sunnydale, the defeat of evil and 
the beginning of a life unknown.  Almost everyone had taken up temporary 
residence in a small beachfront motel in the next tourist town up the 
coast.  The young slayers were recovering from the battle wounds quickly 
thanks to their newfound powers.  Ex-principal Wood was doing well 
though recovering slower at a nearby hospital.  There was a general 
feeling of time-out and readjustment as they spent their days alone or 
in groups: on the beach or in their rooms.  No-one went out at night yet 
and the younger ones stayed with each other, holding back the nightmares.



Buffy lay on her bed in her darkened room, the windows and curtains 
open, listening to the sound of the waves against the shore.  She sighed 
when she heard a soft knock on her door and when they knocked again, she 
got up to answer it.



"Who is it?"  Buffy sighed again and called through the door.  It was 
late and she would be worried except that eventless was the theme of the 
last few days.



"Hey Buffy, it's Willow.  Can I come in?"  Willow knew she didn't wake 
her friend, the knock had been too soft.  She hoped that Buffy wouldn't 
be mad at the intrusion though.



Buffy was clothed still, in at least a tank top and shorts, so she 
opened the door, a little curious why Willow wanted to see her this 
late.  The odd request kicked in years of habit, so instead of inviting 
her in, she chose a more subtle reply.  "If you can."



Willow laughed and walked in the room.  She noticed all the lights were 
off, but there was some light coming through the open windows.  "That 
doesn't work in a public hotel, Buffy.  If I was a vampire, I could 
still come in."



Buffy shrugged as she shut the door.  "If you were a vampire, I'd kinda 
want it done with anyway.  Just don't turn me, and we'd be cool."



Willow turned and faced her friend, a small half smile giving the 
appearance of mixing wry amusement with regret.  "But how often have 
things been cool between us?"



Buffy was taken aback by her words and the look in Willow's eyes.  "I 
know Will, but lately...and now, with everything finally being over...I 
thought maybe we could..."  Buffy stumbled over her thoughts of asking 
for one last chance to reconnect.



"I know."  Willow interrupted her, a full smile attempted and 
faltering.  "That's why I'm here.  Buffy, just so it's you that knows, 
I'm so sorry." 



Before Buffy could ask what Willow was sorry for, she was embraced in a 
hug and simply returned it.  The hug tightened, deepened, and she felt 
herself leaned back against the door, so she wrapped her arms 
protectively around Willow and held her.  Her mind was a mix of 
wondering what Willow was specifically so sorry about; her own list of 
events she was sorry for; and a dim hope that maybe, if this was the 
beginning, they could work it out.



All the thoughts stopped when she felt the sting of fangs penetrating 
her neck.  One internal cry filled the void and echoed around her mind, 
'Oh god, Willow.  Not after all this.  Not Willow.'  The feel of the 
bite was familiar, intimate and urgent; and as tears rolled down her 
cheeks, she felt herself getting weaker.  She breathed and choked out a 
gasp as Willow's scent filled her, confirming this past all denial. 
 Still, she held on; knowing her body should push Willow away, but her 
mind unwilling to follow that with killing her.  She held on; even as 
her legs grew too weak to hold her up and she felt Willow's arms support 
her, their bodies wrapped and moving provocatively against each other, 
and her blood urgently pulled from her.  If this, after everything, was 
the end- then she would let it go.  It was finally over.



Buffy felt herself being lowered to the floor, Willow's body draped over 
her, the hot pull of the continued bite the only warmth she felt now.  
Still, the held on, and with a last effort moved her hand to hold 
Willow's head to her neck.  Buffy felt empty as she dimly registered 
Willow pulling away, and she let go the feeble last grasp at the force 
trying to pump her heart; feeling it slip away she wondered if that was 
maybe her soul.



A voice entered her mind as the memories of her life started to also 
slip away; to follow.  Willow's voice catching and blocking the fleeing 
memories, "Buffy, please, it's Willow.  Please, I can't do this alone."  
Buffy felt something pressed to her lips and sharp liquid enter her 
mouth.  Even as the last sense of herself protested, a memory focused in 
her mind: a sunny day in the high school courtyard, Willow sitting 
across from her, playing a game of 'anywhere but here'.  Willow's 
continued plea held the memory to her and her lips closed around the 
offered wound.  As she sucked the warm liqueur over her tongue and it 
slid down her throat, she thirsted for more; for all of it.  She drank 
urgently the offered blood and her mind clamped down and held to her the 
memories of life.  Gaining a little strength, she grasped the arm held 
to her lips and drank greedily, melting in the comfort of Willow's hand 
stroking her hair.  And when Willow gently pulled the arm from her 
grasp, all that followed was dark sleep.



Buffy woke suddenly, startled and breathing hard.  She looked around the 
motel room, noticing she was now on the bed and the curtains were drawn; 
sunlight dimly failing to enter.  She spotted Willow seated in the chair 
beside the bed and she remembered Willow coming to her room and the 
confused and foggy events that followed.  "Willow, did I have a 
nightmare?  Please tell me it was just a nightmare."



Willow bowed her head slightly before looking back at her friend.  
"Define nightmare."



"Something I'm waking up from now."  Buffy focused menacingly on Willow.



"Then no."  Willow held still, waiting to see what Buffy would do before 
she would react.  She took in the slightly wrinkled brow and yellow 
eyes.  Buffy's face wasn't fully deformed but still held the defined 
edges of a monster.  Willow willed herself to remain calm, even as she 
held the otherworldly eyes, even as she remembered that's what she was 
now as well. 



Buffy rose from the bed, painfully aware of something inside that felt 
like hunger, but was closer to need.  Denial pounding heavily in her 
head, she crossed to the window and reached out to pull the curtain 
back.  Her hand recoiled quickly away before reaching the curtain just 
as Willow's cry of 'Buffy! Don't!' reached her ears.  Turning toward 
Willow, anger and horror mixed and propelled her; charging her friend, 
she pulled Willow up and pinned her hard against a wall.  "What did you 
do?!" 



"I couldn't live near forever like this; alone."  Willow let the honest 
reply show in her still unturned eyes.  "I couldn't bear the thought of 
what hunting me down would do to you; or the next one of killing you, so 
that I could live."



Buffy pushed herself away from Willow and crossed the small room, 
cutting off the rest of Willow's explanation.  Turning back towards the 
still and deceptively fragile looking form of her friend, Buffy felt 
defeat smother the demon and her face softened.  "We're not alive, 
Willow.  We're only the things we've spent our lives fighting for years."



"No.  I don't think so."  Willow was quick to object.  "If that was 
true, I would have just taken off, and I'd be sitting in some demon bar 
right now impotently planning the end of the world over a pint of blood 
with the rest of them."  Willow pulled forward from the wall and took a 
couple of steps toward Buffy.  "I think because of who we are; yet 
again, we're different.  I mean I spent so much time manipulating dark 
magics and controlling their power over me, whatever better part of a 
demon is inside me now doesn't just have control.  And I know you still 
have the slayer in you.  I can feel it.  There's kinda this tickle down 
deep and low inside."



"Try being in my skin."  Buffy acknowledged, running a hand through her 
hair.  "Not sure this is of the good, but I think they're getting 
along."  Suddenly, she almost doubled over, and looked up questionably 
at Willow.



"You're hungry."  Willow answered, moving to Buffy and gently guiding 
her to the bed.  "Here, sit down."



Buffy watched Willow cross the room and look through a bag she didn't 
remember seeing.  A need so suddenly overwhelming forced a growl from 
her when she recognized the red liquid in a clear container as Willow 
pulled it from the bag.  Still, she restrained herself, even as Willow 
removed the top and handed it to her. 



Willow was astonished and a little impressed at Buffy's hesitation.  She 
sat on the bed next to Buffy, her hand stroking Buffy's back in a 
comforting gesture; with gentle understanding, she encouraged her 
friend.  "Buffy, drink."



Buffy felt like she was dieing again as the scent of the blood drew her 
near to tears.  Closing her eyes against the onslaught of need, she 
realized there were still some last lines left to cross.  Opening her 
eyes, she looked into Willow's unflinching gaze.  "Is it human?"



"Yes."  Willow's eyes held Buffy's look, unremorseful.  "Buffy, don't go 
all fucking Angel on me.  We may be different than a mindless demon, but 
we're not exactly as we were before, either.  We don't have a soul.  
There's no redemption at stake.  And damn it all, if after everything 
we've been through this is what we get, I don't believe there is such a 
thing anyway.  And maybe you didn't notice, even with the me killing you 
and turning you and all, but there's a real lack of conscience as part 
of the package."  Willow calmed herself and sighed out of habit, 
continuing to stroke Buffy's back, urging her friend to understand.  
"Buffy, we were left with a strong sense of self and the memories of 
experiences that made us everything we are, but this also made us.  And 
with everything we've won, I think we have a right to go on."



"So now we kill?"  Buffy questioned simply.  Looking inside herself, she 
had to admit the sense of right and wrong was unfocused.  It was more 
the sense of habit that prolonged her current torment.



"Yes, and not just that.  We also live."  Willow simply answered in return.



Buffy continued to look into Willow's eyes as she raised the container 
to her lips and drank.  Feeling her face contort briefly, she relaxed 
again when the last of it was gone.  Grimacing, she tossed the container 
to the floor.  "That was stale."



Willow smiled in relief but was still wary.  "Sorry, best I could do 
with the current sunlight.  It should hold you over until tonight."



"Willow, what happened?"  Buffy gently asked.



Willow rose from the bed and started slowly, randomly pacing around the 
room.  "I don't really know.  I remember last night I was going to come 
to your room; to see how you were and maybe even talk.  I went for a 
walk outside, trying to boost my courage, collect my thoughts.  It was 
just past sunset but not really that dark yet, and I just didn't think 
anything of it because I was so used to walking after dark.  I wasn't 
paying much attention I guess and it all happened so fast."  Willow 
stopped pacing and turned towards Buffy.  "In Sunnydale, the vampires 
all jump out facing you, trying to scare you or something first.  This 
one just suddenly grabbed me from behind and sank his fangs into my 
neck.  I didn't even see him, and before I could think to do something, 
I was already dieing.  I just kept thinking it wasn't fair, you know?"



"Yeah."  Buffy reminded her friend of how well she might understand.



Willow started pacing again.  "Anyway, I really didn't want to die.  
Then I felt his blood slipping down my throat and I thought frantically 
of a spell that might keep my soul in me.  You know, become some good 
version of a vampire.  So I let it happen, but it didn't work.  I think 
it made the human part stronger, or just as strong, as the demon part.  
But when I woke up, I knew it didn't work."  Willow paused and looked at 
the curtained window, briefly realizing she'd never see the sun again.  
"He didn't expect me to wake so soon.  I guess the magics... And he kept 
going on about how pretty I am.  When he started in about how he's my 
sire, I staked him with the wooden letter opener I noticed on his coffee 
table."



Buffy lay back on the bed, and looking up past the ceiling to the powers 
she imagined might be up there, wondered aloud.  "So this is what we 
get?"  Sitting back up, she asked Willow, "so why me?"



Willow crossed back over to the bed and sat back down next to Buffy.  
"You were the first worry to enter my mind."



"You didn't do this just so that I wouldn't stake you, did you?"  Buffy 
asked in disbelief.



"No, of course not."  Willow reached out to stroke some of the hair away 
from Buffy's face, the gesture surprising them both.  "But I really 
didn't want to fight you again.  And I knew it'd kill you anyway if you 
had to stake me.  And it'd kill me again if I had to kill you.  You 
wouldn't be able to just let me go and forget.  And I guess I couldn't 
let you go either.  I didn't want to be like this alone."  Willow 
pleaded with her eyes for understanding.



"Besides, there really is a whole lack of conscience thing that happens 
with all this."  Buffy acknowledged.



"Oh yeah."  Willow gratefully and readily agreed.  "I found out just how 
much when I left that guy's apartment.  I was so hungry I killed the 
first person I found alone.  Then I remembered you and killed a waitress 
in an empty diner for that cup of joe you just had."  Willow laughed a 
little to herself at the memory.  "Then with callous ease, disposed of 
two bodies and drove here to see you."



"Drove?"  Buffy smiled questionably.



"Yeah.  My 'sire' was kind enough to leave his car keys on the table.  
And since no-one will notice dust on the floor, I figured he didn't need 
it anymore and no-one would be looking for it.  We have wheels."  Willow 
grinned.



Buffy smiled excitedly.  "What kind?"



"Typical, but kinda cool: a red Volkswagen Jetta."  Willow smiled and 
let the last of her worries over Buffy's reaction go.  "With a decent 
stereo system."  She reached out again to Buffy, stroking her arm and 
shoulder; wondering if it was her lack of inhibitions now or if it was a 
sire thing that left her incapable of not touching Buffy.  "My turn for 
a question.  How did you not know I was a vampire when I came to your 
room last night?"



Buffy didn't pull away from the touch and instead turned toward Willow.  
"Am I sure you're a vampire even now?  You haven't vamped out when I 
could see, yet.  I know I've changed back and forth so far.  You've seen 
mine, let me see yours."



Willow smiled and shaking her head slightly, let her demon come to the 
fore.  "Was there really any doubt after last night?" 



"I just wanted to make sure the reality check wouldn't bounce.  It has 
before you know."  Buffy brought her fingers to Willow's slightly 
wrinkled brow and ran them over the ridges, watching her lids close over 
yellow eyes in response.  "Sensing vampires is just catching some other 
than human vibe from them.  You've had that vibe for a while now cause 
of all the magic I guess.  I used to worry about it some at first and 
would just open the door for you or something and see if you could walk 
in.  I guess I stopped worrying and last night you just walked in."



Willow leaned her head into Buffy's touch and relaxed her face back to 
human.  She opened her eyes as Buffy pulled her hand away.  "I was 
worried there might be some epic battle before it even began."  This 
brought another question to Willow's mind and she held Buffy's eyes to 
gauge the answer.  "Why didn't you fight back?"



"Oh that."  Buffy paused for a moment, searching in Willow's eyes for 
how to answer.  She smiled as she decided to openly tell her the truth.  
"Well, it wasn't the first time I've been bit and didn't fight back.  
Because it was you, Willow.  After everything, including almost 
destroying each other, then getting you back and finally winning the 
battle that won the war; after all that, I couldn't just kill you.  You 
were right.  And if that was the choice then I chose to die.  I really 
thought I was going to just die, though."



Willow looked down at the ugly bedspread showing through the little 
space between them.  "Then why'd you drink?"      



"Cause everything I'd ever experienced was leaving me.  And it wasn't 
fair.  Plus, there was your voice in my ear asking me to stay.  I do 
understand a little better now, you know," Buffy acknowledged.  "And I 
think we should turn Xander."



Willow was a little startled at the suggestion.  Not because she hadn't 
thought of it herself, but because it was Buffy who proposed it.  "Why?"



Buffy shrugged.  "For all the reasons you turned me.  It's always been 
the three of us.  We need him.  He needs us.  You know he wouldn't be 
able to just let us go."



"I know.  But Buffy, it might not work the way we want it to."  Willow 
gently took Buffy's hand in her own as she voiced the concerns that had 
plagued her mind.  "I'm different because I'm used to feeling evil 
inside me, and because of the spell.  I knew you'd be different because 
you're the slayer, or were, or whatever.  Xander might just turn into a 
demon."



"I don't think so, Will."  Buffy started the pro turning Xander case.  
"Not if I'm the one to do it."



"Why would that make a difference?"  Willow asked, doubt coloring her tone.



"Well, I know a little something about vampires; not so much from Angel 
cause he would never tell me anything, but from Spike cause he couldn't 
shut up about it: it matters who the sire is.  It's like if you 
reinforce it, with the back and forth blood, then they get a big dose of 
sire.  And I never got a chance to tell you, but you know your spell?  
The saved the world spell, I mean.  It did something to me too.  In the 
battle, I caught a sword all the way through me, and it should have kill 
me, and instead I healed in only a matter of hours.  I think what turned 
potentials into slayers, made me like a super-slayer or something.  Or 
whatever I am now.  I think it will be enough to turn Xander into 
something more than just a vampire."  Buffy finished her argument with a 
sly smile.



"Wait.  Jump to the left and step to the right.  Are you saying you're 
all the slayer you were and then some?"  Willow pulled her hand from 
Buffy's and leaned away.  "So maybe the sense of slayer will overwhelm 
the demon.  And, well..."



Buffy could feel Willow's fear and a predatory smile slowly crossed her 
face.  "Relax, Will.  The slayer's just demon juice too.  The whole good 
and evil thing, it's just choices.  Take Faith for example.  I'm 
saying," Buffy paused to raise her arms over her head and stretch 
provocatively, "that I feel like I can do anything."



"Well, we probably can't swimsuit model.  But I think you're right.  
Let's turn Xander."  Willow responded with a smile of her own.





Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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