FIC: Damn it, my name is Buffy!

["mike" <wizathogwarts@xxxxxxxxx>]

Damn, I'm pissed.  The sky is all dark grey, clouds so thick they 
don't even look like clouds, more like someone threw ashes across 
the heavens.  

I wonder how many dusted vamps it'd take to do that?

Brr& Damn wind.  Should have brought my long coat, why didn't I?  Oh 
yea, I'm pissed and I gotta find that damn horse, that tired old 
beaten horse.

I really feel sorry for the damn thing, all bloody, broken and 
sick.  Poor thing can't even stand anymore. 

And the flies!  They just eat away at him until the muscle is 
exposed.

Ah, there he is.  Damn, the flies laid eggs and they hatched. 

Ewww& I really don't like doing this but I'm pissed.  

Won't be able to sleep until I beat the poor thing.  

Shit, there's no place that hasn't already been beaten into mush, 
ick.

Alright Buffy, just get it over with girl and you can get out of 
here and go home.

Ugh, the smell.  Think I'm going to throw up.

Better hold my nose.

Just a few kicks should do it and then I can go.

Aw shit, what the hell was I thinking?  Sandals?  You're losing it 
Buffy.

Come on, step back get a lungful of fresh air and then just do it.

Gulp!

Oh my god, his flesh just splattered like pudding, pudding that's 
crawling with rice like tapioca.  And I like tapioca.

Just one more for good measure, your foots already covered in gooey 
messy dead horse meat just do it already.

Ugh& done.

Now just yell it out and you can go home.

Whoops, better get back a bit further before I take a big breath for 
the yelling.

Ok, doesn't smell too bad here, big breath now.

Now let it out Buffy!

"My name is Buffy.  Buffy Anne Summers.  It's not Elizabeth.  It's 
not Beth.  It's Buffy!  It's the name I was born with!  It's the 
name I was given by Joss!  All my legal papers say I'm Buffy!  No 
where was I ever called Elizabeth or Beth.

Look, I'm not unreasonable.  The AU fics that are set back in time 
I'm OK with, like that one where I went to the Yukon and met Will 
who was an innkeepers wife, talk about AU, but goddess was she hot.  
I know that being named Buffy back then is unreasonable, and I'm not 
unreasonable.

But the fics that are suppose to take off from my real life and the 
writer thinks that my name is just a nickname for Elizabeth, now 
that's unreasonable and it pisses me off!

I'll tell you what, you can call me Buff.  You can call me B.  Hell, 
you can even cal me Bitch!

But don't call me anything that sounds like Elizabeth.  That 
includes Beth and Liz.

Awww shit, the horse is dead.  I really don't want to be beating a 
dead horse.  Give me a break here.  It's really disgusting and 
smells really bad, like stomach rolling, heave your lunch bad.

Do you do it just to piss me off?  Or are you just plain ignorant?

Damn you Norwalker, I was really enjoying the story and I really 
tried to ignore the Elizabeth crap but you just kept doing it. 

You must be doing it to piss me off, well you succeeded.  Now I have 
to go home, strip in the back yard and hose myself off.

Will won't let me in the house covered in dead horse.  You know how 
she hates the live ones, well you can just imagine what she thinks 
of the dead ones.

I'm going to have to walk in the kitchen door naked, wet and cold.  
Willow is going to rub her hands all over my body to warm me up then 
she's going to sit me down in a nice warm tub and rub me gently with 
vanilla oil.  She'll massage the oil into every part of my body, 
from my toes to my head.

And she always takes longer around those `special' areas.

Hmmm, not feeling so cold any more, well guess it's time to go home, 
can't keep my Will waiting.

Poor horse, you think you got a few more beating left in you?









Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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