[FIC] Reactions and Admissions (Chs. 1 - 18)

["harleyquinnmark" <harleyquinnmark@xxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Reactions and Admissions 
Author: DawnBTVS 
Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Joss Whedon. 
Warning: Don't read if F/F pairings make you run screaming into
the
night. 
Distribution: Wiffy-Dreamverse, IKOLY, and Buffy Wants Willow.
Feedback: Would certainly be appreciated. 
Spoilers: Up to Xander slamming the phone down on Willow in Prophecy
Girl. 
Pairings: Buffy/Willow 
Summary: Willow gets no response from Xander, but receives a phone
call from a certain Slayer, needing to talk with her. 
Author's Note: Thanks to Erin for being my beta. This is my first
Wiffy fic (2nd fic overall). If it appears all screwed up and
misaligned, I don't know what the hell happened. It appears fine in
the initial box, it looks all weird in the preview, and when I "edit"
it, it remains all skewed in the preview.

Chapter 1 
I sighed, and stared hard at the phone in my hand. Xander was my best
friend, and we had known each other forever. I know he's hurting
but
I'm sure Buffy didn't mean it. She would never hurt him or I
on
purpose, not after the countless times she's saved our butts from
certain death. `He just needs time' I thought, rested the
phone back
on its cradle, and turned off my monitor. I pushed the chair back from
the computer, and stood up. `Angel has been sending signals to
Buffy
and vice versa, I mean hello, smoochies' I thought just as the
phone
rang. I glanced at the door, a rippling of fear running down my spine,
and hoped my parents didn't hear. My mother wasn't big on
people
calling past 9 PM at the Rosenberg household. I walked up, lifted the
receiver, and couldn't mask my surprise. 

"Buffy?" I asked, surprised that the blonde was calling.
Well, okay,
not that surprised considering we talk almost nightly, but Buffy
didn't sound like Buffy. She wasn't upbeat and fun and
engaging.
`Okay, shooting down Xander might have a big aid in that' I
thought. 

"Hey Will. So, what's up?" Buffy asked in a soft tone, as
warning
bells began clanging, and concern flared in my soul. Buffy never
sounded this morose and well& depressed. I knew that there was
something affecting my Buffy&'My Buffy?' I thought in
confusion before
Buffy's voice snapped me back. 

"You there Will?" asked Buffy. She sounded scared, and I
quickly
resolved myself to make her feel better. 

"I'm here, Buffy. You want to talk?" I asked, maybe a bit
too hastily
as silence met my remark. I closed my eyes, hoping that Buffy
wouldn't
turn me away. I was her best friend, and we talked about everything.
`Don't hold out on me Buff' I thought with worry, knowing
whatever was
bothering her was very important. 

"Y-yeah. Uh, Will?" asked Buffy as my ears perked. I would be
strong
for her. She needed me right now, and there was no way I'd let
her down. 

"What Buff?" I asked, wondering what she'd be asking me.
I wasn't
prepared for her answer, at all. 

"Could you come over, please?" she asked. `It's a
school night' was my
immediate thought, soon followed by me mentally admonishing myself. I
guess my gasp didn't help matters, either. "No, I'm
sorry. It's a
school night, and you're probably doing homework, and I'd be
infringing on that, and it'd be wrong and-" Buffy babbled. I
smiled,
listening to her. `She's cute when she babbles' I thought
before my
eyes widened in realization at what I thought. `Not cute that
way, not
that she isn't cute because she is, in fact she's very cute
but her
babbling can't be cute&ugh' I chastised myself, and
focused back on
Buffy, hoping my internal thinking didn't cause Buffy to think I
had
passed out. 

"I'd be glad to come over. You need me, and don't try and
downplay it.
I'll be over there in a few minutes. Let me just figure out a way
to
slip out. Hey, look at me, you've corrupted me into being secret
agent
gal," I joked, grinning as a laugh met me. It was nice to hear
Buffy
laughing. 

"Thanks Will. This means a lot," Buffy murmured, and I could
sense the
sincerity. It made me feel tingly. 

"Anything for you. Okay, I'll see ya in a few. Bye," I
said, and hung
up the phone after Buffy said bye. I looked around, and grabbed my
backpack, throwing in a bottle of holy water and a couple crosses.
Knowing Sunnydale, expecting the worst usually never met up to
expectations. It was usually worse. I opened the door slowly,
exhaling, and stepping out. `One time I'm glad my parents
sleep early'
I thought, creeping down the hallway and down the steps. I quietly
walked up to the front door, and grabbed the doorknob but froze in
place at a couple of creaks upstairs. I heard the bathroom door close,
and wasted no time getting out. `My parents catching me would
lead to
a world of badness&although being out at night is badness in
itself' I
thought, opening my backpack, and pulling out a cross for protection. 

~~~BTVS~~~ 

I walked up the driveway, and walked up to the front door but paused.
`What if Ms. Summers doesn't know I'm here? What if she
yells at
Buffy, and sends me home! Why, Buffy would be getting hurt because of
me, and I don't want to hurt her' I thought, my mind rambling
away,
and completely oblivious to the door being opened. I looked up, and
smiled at Buffy. 

"He-" I managed to get out before Buffy grabbed me by the
hand, and
yanked me into the house. I looked at her, confused by her action. She
stared over my shoulder, and pointed as I turned to see what she was
pointing at. 

"I hear knocking can speed up the process of getting the door
open,"
Buffy remarked as she grabbed a stake, stepped out, and swiftly staked
the charging vampire. I was still a bit shocked at what had
transpired. I-I could've been a snack! I could've been a
happy meal
for that guy! Buffy turned, and smiled as Joyce stepped into the
hallway, seemingly oblivious to what had just occurred. 

"Hello Willow," Joyce said with a smile. I must've
blanched because
Buffy was instantly wrapping her arm around my shoulder. It felt nice.
`Okay&' I thought, my mind clearly trying to make me go
insane. I
glanced from Buffy's smiling face to Ms. Summers. 

"H-Hi. I hope you're not mad with me being here because Buffy
called,
and she wanted me to come and if I didn't come then she'd be
sad, and
I don't want her to be sad because of me but then I thought
you'd be
angry if I came, so I didn't knock, and&I'll stop," I
said, a little
out of breath. Joyce had a look of amusement and concern, and Buffy
shook me, a little too hard as I toppled to the ground. 

"Willow! Sorry," Buffy said with a wince, as I sent up a weak
smile to
help allay her fears. I stood up, smoothing my shirt out, and looking
at Buffy. 

"I'm okay," I replied, as Joyce looked at Buffy. 

"I hope you girls remember that it's a school night. Seeing
as you're
here, would you like to stay the night? I don't want to wake your
parents at this hour," Joyce said as I looked at Buffy,
nervousness
and worry on my face. 

"Will?" Buffy asked with slight worry coming over her eyes but
vanishing just as quickly. I saw it though, and couldn't just
leave
her like this. 

"Sure," I said. Buffy smiled and began tugging me up the
stairs. I was
trying to figure out why Buffy was so&happy. I'm good but
I'm no
miracle cure for depression. `I'm not even approved by the
FDA' I
thought with a smirk. Buffy pulled me into her bedroom, closing the
door. I sat down on the edge of her bed, eyeing her. I didn't
want to
bring up Xander but that was what was making her down&right? Buffy
turned to face me, and I could see a tear starting to slide down her
cheek. 

"Buffy! What's wrong? Is it Xander?" I asked, tossing my
backpack on
the bed, and standing. Buffy just sniffled, and I walked to her,
enveloping her in a hug. `She's so soft' I thought,
taking in the
fragrance of her shampoo. `She smells like oranges' I thought
before I
quickly shook my head. Buffy was hurting, and I needed to know why. I
could feel her tears subsiding, and I pulled my head back but kept my
arms wrapped around her. "What is it Buffy?" I asked, concern
clearly
evident in my voice. Buffy sniffled, and pulled her head back. I
placed a finger on her cheek, wiping away a stray tear. Buffy leaned
into my touch, and smiled. I smiled too but couldn't explain why
this
was feeling so good. `You like her&but she likes Angel' I
thought sadly. 

"It was horrible, Will," Buffy said, swallowing a sob, as she
pulled
out of my embrace. I frowned at the loss of contact, as Buffy walked
back to the bed, refusing to look at me. I took a step forward but
kept my distance, deciding Buffy needed to get this off her chest.
"He's my friend, Will. I love him but not like that. He
seemed so
heartfelt, though," Buffy said, sitting on the bed, pulling her
knees
up to her chest, and wrapping her arms around them. I sat down on the
edge of the bed. 

"I know; he's my best friend. If you didn't have those
same feelings
for him, though then it was best that you let him down. It'll
hurt now
but in the long term, he'll be better off for it," I said,
trying to
massage Buffy's guilt. I didn't want to ask but this had been
bugging
me. "Was it because of Angel?" I asked, a little fear in my
voice.
Buffy looked up, fresh tears welling up. She shook her head, as I
looked at her in surprise. 

"Angel's handsome, very handsome. Okay, a hottie. You said it
yourself
though, Will. He's a vampire, and I'm a vampire slayer. Our
relationship would be filled with cryptic messages, and him not aging,
and me hating him for it. I don't think I love him, though. I
feel the
way I do about Xander with Angel," Buffy said, as confusion was
obviously on my face. "Will?" she asked, as I looked back at
her, a
bit startled. `B-but&you kissed!' I thought. 

"You guys had smoochies, though," I said, as if that was the
definition of love. `If ya smooch, then you're in love' I
thought, as
Buffy chuckled. 

"Smoochies don't mean love, Will. They were okay
but&there was
something missing. I didn't feel this spark that people should
feel
when they're in love," Buffy said, as I nodded my head,
trying to
understand where she was coming from. Of course, I had never kissed,
so it was kind of hard for me to make that same connection. Then a new
thought hit me. 

"I thought you were meeting with Giles?" I asked, as Buffy
just looked
down forlornly at her bed. I crawled forward to sit next to her.
"Buff?" I asked, fearing the worst. "Please, look at me
Buffy," I
said, fear causing my voice to shake. Buffy looked up, tears now
spilling down her cheeks again. I instantly hugged her, whispering
soothings in her ear. I pulled back, the next action catching me by
surprise. Buffy leaned forward, lips softly brushing mine but slowly
pressing harder. `This is nice&it's Buffy!' I
thought, frantically
trying to figure out what to do. Buffy pulled away, fear and worry in
her eyes. I was a little out of breath, my eyes still closed, as I
opened them. I smiled, and leaned forward, pulling Buffy towards me.
`My turn' I thought, as I captured her lips with mine. I felt
my lips
parting, allowing Buffy access to my tongue with hers. We were like
that for a while before breaking apart. Both of us were breathing
hard. My mind was whirling in a million different directions.
"Wow," I
gasped, as Buffy blushed, and looked away. I frowned, fear making my
body go cold. "Did I do something wrong?" I asked, worried
that I had
ruined the moment, and Buffy would hate me because of it. 

"It was&better than I imagined," Buffy replied, slowly
bringing her
eyes to meet mine. 

"I-Imagined? How&how long?" I asked, as Buffy flinched a
little but I
smiled at her, trying to ease her. 

"Since the first day we met. You're beautiful Willow. No
matter what
Cordelia and her club of bitches think. If Xander didn't see the
hotness of you, that's his loss," Buffy said, as I blushed to
match
the color of my hair. 

"You think I'm beautiful?" I asked, not wanting to
believe it. I was
waiting for her to say `just kidding,' or laugh at me and
kick me out
of her room, or call me a freak and say how she couldn't wait to
tell
Cordelia. 

"I love you, Willow," Buffy said and I froze. `Say
something doofus' I
snapped at myself. Buffy was great. She made me feel safe, important,
and she loves me! Buffy began to turn her head away, clearly thinking
she went over the line. I couldn't let her think that. Not with my
feelings for her. 

"I love you too, Buffy. Okay, I was lusting after Xander but that
was
more because he was my friend. Oh, not saying that I'm only saying
this because you're my friend because you're more to me than
my
friend, which is obvious because I love you too-" I babbled,
blushing
as Buffy laughed. 

"Breathe, Will," she commented as I nodded my head, stopping
and
breathing to get myself under control. 

"It's just that you make me feel safe, Buffy. You make me
happy
whenever I'm feeling down. You make me feel like I'm
important, and
that somebody really thinks highly of me. I can't stand being away
from you, and being with you makes my life&perfect," I
remarked,
internally frowning, and hoping she didn't find that really lame. 

"How could anybody not fall head over heels for you, Will? I met
you,
and within an instant, I was totally in love. Your smile, your
babbling&okay, your taste in clothes isn't the best," she
teased, as I
looked at her in surprise, and glared. I picked up a pillow. 

"That's it, missy," I replied, throwing my pillow at her.
She dodged
it, and laughed, throwing her own pillow at me. Soon, we were engaged
in a full on pillow fight. I finally fell back on her bed, exhausted.
Buffy smiled, and stretched out next to me. I smiled, lost in her eyes
and her gorgeous smile. She leaned down, kissing me on the forehead
but I pulled her lips down to mine. We broke to catch our breaths
again when I frowned. She looked at me with a bit of confusion.
"You
never met with Giles?" I asked, as Buffy closed her eyes, and
leaned
back, head resting on her pillow. I snuggled against her, as she
wrapped her arm around me but I could feel her body tensing. 

"I met. Turns out there are prophecies. One of them happens to
involve
The Master and yours truly. I fight The Master tomorrow night, and
he'll kill me," she remarked with a sigh, as I instantly shot
out of
bed so quickly that Buffy whimpered at the loss of contact. 

"What?" I screeched as Buffy gasped, pantomiming me to quiet
down but
I was having none of it. No way was my girlfriend, `heh, I like
that,
girlfriend' I quickly thought, going to die at the hands of this
Master. He's supposed to be tough but damnit&I just found
her. "I just
found you, Buffy! I'm not going to lose you this soon," I
shouted, as
the door opened, and Joyce stood there with fear and concern. 

"Are you girls alright?" she asked, as Buffy sat up and I
turned to
look at her. Joyce flinched, as I was still pissed off. 

"We're fi-" Buffy began but I cut her off in my anger. 

"No, we're pretty far from fine. Buffy, I won't let you
die tomorrow!"
I stated as Buffy paled. 

"Buffy's going to die tomorrow?" Joyce asked in
confusion, as I turned
to look at her like she should've known what was going on. Then it
dawned on me, and I turned back to Buffy in surprise and concern. 

"She doesn't know?" I asked in surprise, as Buffy winced,
shook her
head, and stared at the carpet. My eyes widened, as I realized what I
had just done, and I bowed my head, blushing. `Oh boy
Willow&way to
get Buffy in trouble' I thought as I stared intently at the
carpet.
Joyce just glared at Buffy, and turned her attention to me. 

"Willow, could you wait downstairs for a while please?" Joyce
asked,
but I knew it was a command, directed right at me, Willow Rosenberg. I
cast a quick glance at Buffy and quietly walked past Joyce and down
the stairs. I sat in the living room, waiting for the shouting and
breaking of objects that I felt was imminent.

Chapter 2
	Joyce sat down and placed both hands on her lap.  Buffy scooted
forward so that she was sitting next to her. Joyce sighed, and looked
at her daughter who was focused on her hands.

	"What's going on Buffy?" Joyce asked, trying to be calm,
but also
wanting to be stern. Buffy lifted her head and looked at her mother,
eyes brimming.

	"I know I should've told you sooner. It's just that I
didn't want you
in harms way. I could never live with myself if something happened to
you," Buffy said, as Joyce remained silent, letting Buffy talk at
her
own pace. "I'm a Slayer. I'm the one chosen to fight
vampires,
witches, demons, and monsters. Anything that goes bump in the night
resides right here in Sunnydale, and I fight them," Buffy said,
averting her eyes back to her hands. Joyce frowned, but she could tell
her daughter was being serious.

	"A Slayer?" Joyce asked, still trying to figure out what her
daughter
was talking about.

	"The one and only. One girl in all the land is chosen to fight
the
vampires and demons that roam the Earth. That one girl happens to be
me. I have superhuman strength, healing abilities, and very sharp
hearing," Buffy explained as Joyce nodded her head, following
along
somewhat. Her heart clenched in fear at her next question though.

	"How does a Slayer become chosen?" Joyce asked, worried
about what
she would hear.  The response made her blood run cold.

	"The previous Slayer dies and the next one is called. Giles, my
Watcher and school librarian, the guy who trains the Slayer, said that
most Slayers don't live past age twenty," Buffy said, as
Joyce looked
at her confused.

	"Dies? So&you're going to die tomorrow and then some
other girl gets
called as the Slayer?" Joyce asked, as Buffy nodded her head.
Buffy
was surprised that her mother wasn't flying off the
handle&but there
was still time. "Well, can you not die tomorrow?" Joyce
asked, trying
to figure out how Buffy&and Willow knew she was going to die.

	"It's been prophesized. According to Giles, that means
it's going
down. I'm the only one who can fight this guy Mom. If I
don't, hell
comes up, and takes over&literally," Buffy said, as Joyce
just sighed.
She didn't want to lose her daughter. "Shouldn't you be
acting more
shocked Mom?" Buffy asked, lifting her eyes to her mother.

	"I figured something was going on, but I was in denial. Washing
blood
out of your clothes, your injuries healing without medicine, and you
coming home late almost nightly. This just& explains it all. Did
it
start at Hemery?" Joyce asked, already knowing the answer, but
wanting
to hear confirmation from her daughter.

	"Yeah. That's why I burned the gym down&it was full of
vampires,"
Buffy whispered, as Joyce took one of Buffy's hands in her own.
Buffy
looked up.

	"Willow knows, I gather, as does your librarian&er, Watcher
as you
called him. Does anybody else know?" Joyce asked, wondering how
out of
the loop she was.

	"Xander, Cordelia, and Angel," Buffy said, as Joyce frowned.

	"Your history tutor?" Joyce asked, now confused.

	"He's not really a history tutor. He's a vampire,"
Buffy said, as she
blushed, and turned her attention to the carpet again.

	"Was he attacking you? Was that why you screamed?" Joyce
asked. Buffy
looked up, surprised at her mother for remembering that night.

	"He had helped me fight off some demons earlier. We kissed, and I
guess I was naïve, because he vamped out, I screamed, and he fled.
He's a good guy though," Buffy said, wincing as she finished.
Joyce
nodded her head, not believing her daughter, but willing to let it
slide for now.

	"I'm still wrapping my mind around all this. It is
rather&sudden, but
I love you. Whatever happens tomorrow, and in the future, I will try
to back you one hundred percent," Joyce said, as Buffy smiled, and
hugged her mother tightly.

	"Can we see Willow?" Buffy asked, as Joyce smiled, and
nodded her head.

~~~BTVS~~~

	I lifted my head at the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. I
saw Buffy and smiled, but paled a little when I saw Joyce. Joyce
walked forward, following Buffy, as Buffy took my hand, and lifted me
to my feet. I looked at Buffy, scared, and unsure of how much she told
Joyce.

	"She knows everything," Buffy said, as I instantly paled. I
wasn't
ready for the talk of Buffy and I being together! Buffy must've
noticed I was in panic mode. "Everything about the Slaying gig.
Don't
worry Will, we're cool. She did want to join me though, see what
goes
down at a Scooby meeting," Buffy hastily added, as I felt my
breathing
slowly returning to normal. I nodded my head.

	"Okay, g-good. That's good. I must warn you Ms. Summers,
that our
meetings tend to&well, just don't expect talk about flowers
and
puppies," I babbled, as Buffy smiled, and looked like she wanted
to
kiss me. I melted at the thought, as Joyce smiled.

	"Don't worry Willow. I'm pretty sure I can handle
what's going on.
Losing my daughter isn't a rosy thought, but I want to be
involved in
what she's doing," Joyce said, with pride, as Buffy blushed
at the
care and affection shown.

	"Great&we'll be upstairs," Buffy said, with a smile,
grabbing my
hand, and dragging me up the stairs. I heard Joyce mutter something
about girls, but was too busy staring at the back of Buffy&and
lower
areas. I blushed, hoping Buffy wasn't thinking about what I was
doing.
Buffy tugged me into her bedroom, and closed the door, as I sat down
on the edge of her bed. Buffy grinned, tackling me, as I let out a
yelp of surprise. She stopped, resting her head in the palm of her
hand, and just looking at me. I lied next to her, gazing up at her.

	"What?" I asked, concerned that there was something wrong
with my
face. I wrinkled my brows in confusion, making Buffy laugh.

	"You're beautiful," Buffy replied, leaning down, and
kissing me ever
so briefly. She pulled back and sighed.

	"How're we going to tell the others?" she asked, my mind
suddenly
melting, and filtering out my head.

	"O-others? Like Giles, and Angel, and&Xander," I
whispered, suddenly
feeling sick, a knot in my stomach.

	"I can handle Angel and Giles. Xander might be your department
though," Buffy said, as I nodded my head. `Great&I get to
tell my best
friend I stole Buffy' I thought, as I groaned.

	"Ugh&I think I have a headache now," I grumbled, as
Buffy smiled.

	"Aww&poor Willow," she sympathized, leaning forward, and
rubbing my
temple with her fingers. I moaned, the massage feeling great. She
smiled, kissing my neck, and collarbone. Suddenly, she stopped as I
whimpered at the loss.

	"Hey," I whined, not liking this at all. I opened my eyes,
and turned
to see Buffy nude! I gasped, and blushed ten shades deeper then my
hair, as I dove under the pillow. Buffy laughed.

	"Tsk tsk Willow. We'll definitely have to get you used to
this aspect
of our relationship. I'm taking a shower. Feel free to pawn
through my
clothes, find something comfortable, and get ready. You're
showering
after me. Hope you don't mind sharing the bed with me," Buffy
teased,
giggling as I lifted my head, and glared&or tried to, but I was
too
fixated on her curves. Her breasts looked perfect, nipples erect,
and&she's out the door. `She has a nice ass' I
thought, smiling, as I
jolted myself from the bed, and began rummaging through her closet for
something to wear.

Chapter 3
	I flopped down on the bed next to Buffy, thinking back to what Joyce
had said earlier, and the affection she had shown. Buffy was busy
playing with my hair. I smiled, but Buffy could tell something was
bugging me.

	"What's going on Will?" she asked, as I frowned, not
sure whether I
wanted to share this with her or not. `We're
girlfriends&share!' I
thought, commanding myself to share.

	"My parents never show me this kind of affection Buffy. Usually
they
see me in the morning, we eat breakfast in silence, they go to work,
and we eat dinner in silence. That, or they're going on vacations
for
weeks or months at a time. Leaving me home alone to basically fend for
myself, literally, and figuratively, I guess. It sucks Buffy. It
really, really sucks. I'm alone, and I wish I were here. Your
mother's
so nice, and sweet, and caring," I said, tears falling down my
cheeks,
but I didn't care. Why didn't my parents show me this kind of
attention? Joyce wanted to help Buffy with her Slaying! Buffy cupped
my cheek, brushing my tears away. I looked up at her, begging, as she
leaned down, and kissed me passionately, deeply. I knew we were in
love with that kiss. She broke it off, peppering my forehead with
kisses, as I sniffled, and caught my breath. She pulled back, eyes
full of concern as I sighed.

	"I'm so sorry Willow. If I could, I'd gladly have you
move in with
me, but I'm not sure that my mother would go for it, especially
with
your parents still being in town," Buffy said, as I lay there
thinking.

	"What if my parents kicked me out?" I asked, as Buffy leaned
back,
confused, and worried.

	"Will, you can't think that," she said, shocked, but I
didn't care. I
was sick of my life. I wanted to be with Buffy, and with somebody who
actually cared, besides Giles.

	"If I&we told them about us, I'd be a goner for sure.
Come on&their
only daughter suddenly being a l-l-lesbian? My father would kick me
out without a second thought. My mother would say it's just a
phase,"
I grumbled, anger filling me. Buffy just ran her hand lightly over my
arm, trying to calm me down, but it wasn't working that well.
"Your
mother's cool Buffy. She seems pretty accepting. I'm not
ready to jump
into the fire and talk about us, believe me, but she'd take me in
right? She wouldn't leave me alone, to suffer," I said, my
lips
trembling at the mere thought of Ms. Summers kicking me away in
disgust. Buffy was busy moving the hair that was spilling over my
eyes.

	"She'd never do such a hurtful thing Willow. She loves you,
and
thinks that you're a good influence on me, which is very true.
She'd
welcome you with open arms," Buffy said, trying to reassure me. It
worked a little, as I smiled, and yawned. Buffy giggled. "Guess we
should get to bed huh?" she asked, as I nodded my head. She
kissed me
on the forehead, and pulled the covers up. She turned off the light,
and snuggled against me. I sighed contentedly, closing my eyes, soon
lost in a world of angry parents, and beautiful blondes.

Chapter 4
	I woke up to Buffy's arms wrapped around me. I smiled, just
watching
her breathe. I glanced at the clock best I could in my position, which
wasn't an easy task without waking Buffy up. I sighed, slowly
loosening Buffy's arms, and getting out of bed. Buffy groaned,
opening
her eyes, and squinting at the invasion of sunlight. I grinned.

	"Morning baby, sorry about waking you," I said, getting
ready to take
a quick shower, assuming Ms. Summers wouldn't mind, which I hoped
she
wouldn't. Buffy smiled, and closed her eyes.

	"I was totally awake," she mumbled. I laughed, knowing that
she was
still tired, and craved sleep. I grabbed a towel, wrapping it around
myself, still feeling a little shy at exposing myself to Buffy.

	"I'll meet you at the library later. I know, but I promised
Cordelia
that I would help her out with the speakers, and stuff. You can try
and catch Giles too&you know, to tell him, about us," I
stammered, as
Buffy opened her eyes. I saw twinkling merriment there, and it took
all I had to move towards the bathroom. I gave a wave as Buffy smiled,
and with a loud groan, collapsed her head back onto the pillow.

~~~BTVS~~~

	It was 9:55 AM, and I stood waiting outside Sunnydale High. I glanced
at my watch, making sure I wasn't late, even though I knew I was
early.  I saw Cordelia walking up the steps. She regarded me with a
raised eyebrow, but for the most part she ignored me. Typical. She led
the way inside, and we were making our way down the hallway, when she
turned, and began talking to me. I was a little surprised, but tried
to mask it.

	"Oh, Kevin said that he'd bring everything to the Bronze
last night.
He promised! We'll never get everything ready in time," said
Cordelia,
exasperated. I tried to support her, although internally, I was glad
she was suffering. `Vapid tramp' I thought.

	"He probably forgot. It's not that big a deal," I said,
trying to
show that Cordelia would survive.

	"Uh, you don't understand. I'm not mad! He totally
flaked on me. On
me! And I don't even care. God help me, I think it's cute!
Oh&"
Cordelia said, as I smiled. Huh&maybe there is love for everybody
after all. `Even if they don't deserve it, and deserve to die
by
spider bites' I thought. We had just reached the Audio-Visual
room,
and I could see Kevin and friends inside, watching cartoons.
"There
they are! They're watching cartoons. That's so
cu&that's not cute.
That's annoying. I'm annoyed," said Cordelia, clearly
annoyed with the
prospect. I nodded my head, getting into the act of friend role.

	"Right. I'm furious," I added, helping the cause.

	"Men, I don't know why we put up with them," Cordelia
muttered, as I
stifled a laugh.

	"I hear ya," I replied, with a smirk. `I have Buffy, so
no more men
and their madness here' I thought.

	"Obviously, Kevin has underestimated the power of my icy
stare,"
commented Cordelia, opening the door, ready to verbally rip into him.
Unfortunately, something else had gotten there first. I can't hear
Cordelia over the hammering of my heart. I step in, the bodies just
strewn about. For the first time, I really take in the handprint on
the TV screen. I think I'm in shock.

~~~BTVS~~~

I woke up a little dazed. I realize I'm in the library, a
concerned
Giles kneeling over me with a washcloth. I gave a weak smile, and
tried to sit up, instead just slumping back in the chair with a groan.

"You okay there Will?" asked a voice from behind me. I smiled,
realizing it was Xander, and then panic set in. What was he doing
here? Giles is usually all night guy&

"Xander, hey," I said, not feeling up to turning my head.
Giles
smiled, moving my chair so I could face my best friend. He looked
good, for a guy just shot down.

"I'm cool. About the Buffy thing, it happens&okay, it
still stings,"
he said, as I felt my body tensing. I really didn't want to talk
about
this now, especially not in front of Giles, but I knew it was
inevitable. I turned my head enough to face Giles.

"Giles, could you excuse us, for a few minutes&as in leave the
library?" I asked, trying to be soft, but I think I hurt him a
little.
`Great&you keep hurting people Will' I thought with a
frown. Giles
nodded his head. Just then, the doors slammed open, and Buffy came in.
`Woohoo' I thought, happy to see her, and annoyed that this
was
becoming harder then I thought. She instantly dashed to my side.

"Willow! What happened?" she asked, concern, and worry in her
eyes. I
smiled.

"I'm okay Buff. I was just going to talk with Xander," I
replied,
hoping Buffy got the gist of what I wanted her to do, without me
having to come out with it. Buffy nodded her head in understanding.

"Absolutely, you two should&talk," she said, as I groaned
inside.
`Buffy, don't make it so obvious' I chastised her in my
mind. She
turned swiftly, grabbing Giles, and leading him rather forcefully
through the doors. I turned my attention back to Xander, who was
watching me, confused.

Chapter 5
	Giles turned, looking at Buffy with a quizzical expression. Buffy
just smiled up at him as they stood in the hallway. The school was
devoid of students since the find.

	"Buffy, what is the urgency?" Giles asked, wondering exactly
what was
going on. Buffy frowned, and then sighed.

	"Here goes. Giles, have you ever read anything about Slayers
and&relationships?" Buffy asked, trying to get into the topic
of
discussion without being blunt about it.

	"W-well, as you know, Slayers are usually alone. They are
trained by
their Watchers and-" Giles began, but Buffy cut him off, a little
annoyed.

	"No, Giles. I meant&relationships of the uh&sexual
variety," Buffy
said, with a wince, as Giles nodded his head, then blushed.

	"Oh&y-yes. As far as I know, there hasn't been much,
erm, documented
history on that subject. Any reason?" Giles asked, wiping his
glasses.
Buffy smirked. She liked making Giles uncomfortable.

	"Yeah, a fairly big reason, actually. You see&uh&last
night I called
Willow. We talked&and ended up&you know&crossing the
line," Buffy
said, blushing to match Willow's hair, eyes cast on the floor.
Giles
had a confused expression.

	"You had sex?" he asked, perplexed. Buffy jerked her head up
immediately and frowned.

	"We kissed Giles! We don't want to rush the sex thing,"
she said,
again blushing, as Giles continued to wipe his glasses. Buffy began
wondering if he was going to break them.

	"I'm not surprised that you've&that you and Willow
came together. I
mean, I am, but most Slayers, from what I've heard in rumors, have
preferred females to males," Giles said, as Buffy looked at him in
surprise.

	"How come?" she asked, as Giles finally put his glasses back
on.

	"Females represent the opposite of the Slayer personality.
Whereas a
Slayer is primal, aggressive, and physical&females tend to be
innocent, driven by emotions, and non-confrontational," he
explained,
as Buffy nodded her head.

	"So, you're not mad?" she asked, worry about a lecture
on her face.
Giles smiled, hugging his Slayer.

	"Not at all. Willow already knows of your identity, and is a
perfect
opposite of you. You two have clearly always had a connection, it just
took time for you two to come to terms with it," Giles said, as
Buffy
looked at him in shock.

	"You knew?" she asked, not able to hide her surprise, and
annoyance.

	"I could always sense that you two were drawn to each other. Your
relationship with her was far closer then that of Xander, or
myself,"
he replied, as Buffy nodded her head in understanding.

	"Thanks for being so understanding Giles," said Buffy,
hugging him
tightly. Giles let out a groan of pain as Buffy instantly loosened her
grip.

	"Sorry," she said sheepishly.

~~~BTVS~~~

	"Xander, we need to talk. It's about Buffy&and I," I
said, careful
not to jump into it, lest Xander explode on me. I couldn't handle
that, at all. I don't want to lose him. Xander nodded his head,
keeping quiet for once in his life. I sighed, nervously playing with
the hem of my sleeve.

	"She likes you, a lot, but it's just as a friend. I know
that you
like her Xander, very aware of that. It's just that&she
isn't
interested in you&or Angel," I explained, quickly tossing in
Angel
upon seeing Xander's glare. Now Xander looked confused.

	"She doesn't have a thing for Giles does she?" he asked,
confused,
and looking grossed out. I smiled, even going so far as to giggle.

	"It's not Giles, Xander. Buffy called me, last night. I went
over,
and we talked. It turns out&that Buffy had feelings for me,"
I said,
wincing, and averting my eyes to the table. I couldn't bear to
look at
Xander right now, knowing how much pain he was in. I quickly looked
up, when I heard him laughing.

	"What?" I asked, mildly annoyed. Here he was, laughing at
me, when
this was hard for me to tell him.

	"Buffy has feelings for you? Oh&" he said, realization
quickly
hitting him. I hoped my hurt look helped, because that really did
hurt. I was used to taking this abuse from Cordelia and her friends,
but not from Xander.

	"You think I'm not good enough for her?" I asked, tears
brimming. I
couldn't get beyond the fact that Xander had the gall to hurt me
so
deeply. Xander looked ashamed, damn right he should.

	"It's not that Willow, I'm sorry I ever said that. I
remember what
Cordelia and her goons have done in the past. It's a little hard
to
swallow. I ask her out yesterday, and today I'm finding out
she's into
my best friend, who happens to be female," Xander explained. I
sniffled, and looked away, still hurt. Xander leaned forward. "Do
you
love her?" he asked. I was a little surprised at the lack of
anger in
his voice, and turned to look at him. I just nodded my head, unable to
speak. Xander smiled his goofy grin. "I'll at least have
plenty of
happy thoughts at night," Xander quipped. I glared at him, but his
smile won me over, and I was smiling too.

	"So, you're cool, you know, with Buffy and I, being a
couple?" I
asked, still wanting to make sure, in case he wasn't.

	"It'll take some getting used to, I can't lie about
that. It hurts, a
bit, but you're happy, and I'm sure Buffy's happy. So
long as you two
are happy, then that's all I care about," he said, smiling. I
got up,
every bone in my body protesting, and hugged him as tightly as
possible. Xander gasped in surprise, then because he needed to breath.

	"Will, oxygen," he spluttered, as I released my death hug.

	"Sorry," I said, an impish grin growing on my face. Xander
nodded his
head and stood up.

	"Come on, you really don't look good. Giles told me you
passed out,"
he said as he led me back to my seat. I sat down, with him applying
the washcloth to my forehead. I mumbled that I was fine but Xander
ignored me, until the library doors opened. He stood up in surprise.
"Ms. Summers?" he yelped, as I turned my head to see what was
going
on. Bad move. I yelped in pain.

Chapter 6
	I could hear Buffy and Giles arguing. Joyce was behind them, offering
her opinion. I couldn't really make anything out, as the pain was
too
intense for me to focus. I moaned, Buffy suddenly at my side. She
smiled down at me; I smiled back, glad to see her.

	"How'd it go?" I mumbled, as Buffy broke into a wide
grin.

	"It went fine, Giles always knew we had a connection.
Xander?" she
asked, looking at the boy who was still shocked to see Ms. Summers.

	"He's happy for us, but it'll take some getting used
to," I replied,
trying to keep my answers short, to minimize pain. Buffy got up. She
walked over, and hugged Xander tightly. Xander grinned, soon groaning
in pain.

	"Love you too Buff. You're welcome. You two are happy,"
Xander said,
as Buffy released her hold. She smiled, pecking him on the cheek. I
arched an eyebrow at that display. Buffy turned and winked at me,
Xander looking like he'd be on cloud nine for years. Buffy took a
seat
next to me as Giles stood next to Joyce.

	"She knows everything? Even that you tw-" Giles began but
Buffy cut
him off. I sighed, relieved that Buffy did that.

	"Yes, she knows everything about the Slayer side of my
life," Buffy
said, emphasizing slayer. Giles took the hint, but Xander didn't.
I
groaned, as he spoke.

	"Wait, so she doesn't know that Buffy and Willow are a
couple?" he
asked, instantly knowing that he had messed up. If I weren't in so
much pain, I'd have throttled him. Buffy looked like she was
going to
for me. Joyce just looked very confused.

	"When did this happen? Buffy?" Joyce asked, as Buffy bowed
her head.
I instinctively took her hand in mine, squeezing it reassuringly.

	"Before you came in, and we had our talk about my being a
Slayer. All
we did was kiss though. We slept in the bed but nothing else&went
on,"
Buffy said, suddenly realizing exactly what she was saying, and to
whom she was saying it to. I blushed, trying to shrink in my chair,
and hoping a hole would swallow me. I'm sure Buffy felt the same
way,
but I was not going to look at her, not if Joyce was angry. I glanced
at Xander, and rolled my eyes when I realized that he already was
having fantasies. I smirked at him, and he came back with a sheepish
grin. Giles was busy rubbing his glasses.

	"Did that&just happen?" Joyce asked, as Buffy and I
blushed
simultaneously.

	"We've always had these feelings beneath the surface, but
last night,
was the first time we admitted it to each other," I said, eyes
drawn
to the table. I was relieved when Buffy squeezed my hand.

	"Well, so long as you two are cautious and please, call me
Joyce. You
too Xander," Joyce said. Buffy and I glanced at each other, and
broke
into giggles. Giles and Joyce looked confused, as did Xander.

	"Erm, Buffy&didn't you say you had quit?" Giles
asked. I frowned,
looking at Buffy to see if Giles was lying.

	"Buffy?" I asked, hoping I wasn't hearing what I was
hearing.

	"It was a heat of the moment thing Giles. Don't worry;
I'll take on
The Master. If I die, I die, but I'm planning on taking him with
me if
I do," Buffy said as I gripped her hand tightly. Dying was bad.
No, no
dying.

	"Giles, there's gotta be something. Buffy can't
die," I said, fear
encasing my soul. Xander looked grim too.

	"I'm sorry Willow, and Joyce. Every single prophecy in the
Codex,
throughout time, has come to pass. I have never heard of a single
instance where it was defied," Giles said, sorrow in his voice.

	"Well, I'm not one for following the rules myself. I love
you Willow.
I'm not leaving you, I never will," Buffy said, looking into
my eyes.
I smiled, but worry was still there and wouldn't go away until
Buffy
was safe, the Master was dead, and Buffy was back in my arms.

	"We should erm, reconvene later tonight. The Master will send the
Anointed One to lead you Buffy. Xander, I want you to find Angel. I
want you two to follow Buffy when she faces The Master. For the love
of God, don't get involved though. Just make sure that Buffy is
alright," Giles said. I looked at him confused, as did Buffy, and
Xander. Joyce seemed to understand where Giles was going, making me a
little angry.

	"Wha-" I began but Giles cut me off. I glared at him, and
stood up
with help from Buffy. Xander got up as Joyce led us out of the
library. Giles remained alone, wiping his glasses.

	"I really hope my plan works," he muttered to himself before
heading
into his office.

Chapter 7
	Buffy and Xander stood before Angel's door. Buffy lifted a hand,
and
knocked twice. The door was opened; Angel smiled at seeing Buffy, and
frowned at seeing Xander. Xander just shot Angel a glare and stepped
in, walking past him. Buffy cautiously entered as Angel closed the
door and faced them.

	"What's going on?" he asked, concerned that Buffy and
Xander had both
shown up unannounced.

	"I&we need your help tonight," Buffy said. Angel just
looked
confused, as Xander sighed.

	"Giles wants you and I to follow Buffy tonight when she goes in
to
fight The Master," Xander explained, making it a lot more obvious
then
it was. Angel looked at him in surprise, then turned his gaze to
Buffy.

	"If you face The Master, you'll die Buffy. It'll kill
me," Angel
said, as Xander snorted.

	"A stake could do the job just as well," Xander quipped, but
Buffy
elbowed him in the ribs to silence him. Angel glared at Xander.
"You
can drop the woe is me, I'm a tortured soul, please love me act
Angel.
Buffy's taken," Xander said with a smirk. Angel growled, and
stepped
forward.

	"You chose him?" Angel asked, as he pointed a finger at
Xander. Buffy
sighed as Xander glared, and stepped forward himself.

	"You two boys aren't going to fight. Are we clear? If you
do, I'll
make sure you both end up in the hospital. No, I didn't choose
Xander.
He's my friend though. He'll be backing me up tonight. Now,
are you
going to back me up, or not?" Buffy asked, making it clear that
she
wanted an answer right then. Angel sighed, knowing The Master would
kill her.

	"So, we just follow you and wait?" asked Angel, trying to
figure out
what the plan was. Buffy and Xander shrugged their shoulders.

	"We're meeting tonight in the library. Giles will,
hopefully, give us
the details then. You never gave me an answer," Buffy said,
crossing
her arms. Xander smirked, loving this. Angel glared at the boy.

	"I'll see you then. Just out of curiosity&who's your
love?" Angel
asked, genuinely curious. Xander bit his tongue, knowing it'd be
sweeter if Buffy revealed the answer.

	"Willow," Buffy replied. Angel had a look of surprise, then
gave a
derisive snort. Buffy had to pin an arm against Xander to stop the
attack. Buffy glared at Angel. "Sorry your acting didn't
work. If you
want to help, show up at the library tonight. If you don't show
up,
then so be it," Buffy declared, stepping past Angel. She threw the
door open and left, as Xander grinned, and followed in pursuit.

~~~BTVS~~~

	I stood and paced in the library. The doors opened and I looked up,
surprised to see it was Ms. Calendar, and annoyed that it wasn't
Buffy. I still paced.

	"Willow, hey. Is Rupert around?" she asked, as I lifted my
head, and
pointed at the office. Ms. Calendar smiled her thanks, and abruptly
walked in. I sighed, finally sat down at the table, and rested my head
in my hands. Xander continued reading, trying to find some instance
where a prophecy was defied, but not having any luck.	I could overhear
bits and pieces of the conversation Jenny and Giles were having, but
was too concerned that Buffy hadn't shown up to really care.

	"Hey," said Angel, over my shoulder. I jumped, and nearly
fell out of
my chair. Angel smirked, leaned in closer, and made me feel very
uncomfortable at the lack of my personal space. "Has Buffy tasted
you
yet? Would she mind if I tasted you?" he asked. Xander glared, and
stood up. My breathing quickened, Giles and Jenny oblivious to what
was going on.

	"Back off Angel," growled Buffy. I instantly jerked away
from Angel,
and dashed behind Buffy. Angel held up both hands and backed up.
Xander had grabbed a crossbow and held it, aimed at Angel. Giles and
Jenny emerged from the office, confused as to what was going on.

	"Bloody hell. What's going on?" asked Giles, trying to
get control of
this situation before something chaotic happened.

	"Angel decided to make a pass at Willow," Xander commented.
Buffy let
out a growl, and pressed an arm against me to make sure I was safely
behind her. Hearing Buffy growl made my blood turn to ice. Angel
smirked at Giles.

	"I was just having some fun. Seems Buffy doesn't like to
take what
she can dish," he commented with a sneer. I glared at him from
behind
Buffy, but kept my mouth shut.

	"You really want to be staked don't you? Xander, take him
outside.
When you see the kid and I, start following. If Angel gives you grief,
stake him," Buffy directed. Angel flinched a little, knowing Buffy
wasn't kidding. I smiled, knowing Angel was scared. Giles and
Jenny
were still confused. Xander backed up, gesturing Angel to go first.
Xander handed Buffy his crossbow, and went to the cage. He grabbed a
bottle of holy water, and a stake, before heading out of the library.
Buffy turned to me, concern on her face.

	"Are you alright?" she asked, as I nodded my head. I was
still a
little shaken up by Angel's callous actions.

"Buffy, I like your dress," I commented. I smiled, seeing it
earn a
grin from Buffy. Just then, the doors opened, and a little kid walked
in. I looked at Buffy confused, but quickly realized he was the
Anointed One. `Duh' I thought, angry with myself for not
picking up on
it immediately. He stretched out his hand to Buffy.

	"He's waiting," the kid said, as Buffy nodded, hugged
me, and gave me
a quick peck on the cheek.

	"I love you Willow," Buffy said, before leaving my embrace,
and
followed the kid out of the library. I balled both fists, angry at
what the prophecy held, and the knowledge that there wasn't a damn
thing I could do.

	"The Hellmouth will open right? The vampires will be flocking to
it.
Where was it last time?" Jenny asked, as I groaned.

	"The Bronze. Oh, the Prom's there! We have to warn
them," I shouted,
now sensing urgency. Jenny grabbed my hand.

	"We'll go, my car's in the lot. Giles, you concentrate
on the demon
killing," Jenny ordered; as she dragged me out of the library, and
towards the parking lot. Giles nodded his head.

	"Very well then," he exclaimed to himself, walking back into
his office.

Chapter 8
	I followed Jenny into the parking lot, a new, scary, thought formed
in my head.

	"Uh, Ms. Calendar. What if they reach the Bronze first?" I
asked. I
was unaware that Jenny had stopped until I almost walked into her.

	"We really don't have to worry about that," she
answered, nervous. I
looked at her confused.

	"Why not?" I asked, thinking it was pretty important to be
concerned.
Jenny pointed ahead.

	"That's why. They're flocking here," Jenny said,
panic now in her
voice. I looked past her, and saw a legion of vampires walking here.
Not good at all.

	"Oh&damn," I muttered, and turned around, only to see
more vampires.
Suddenly, a car came flying out of nowhere, and pulled to a stop.
Cordelia leaned out, much to my surprise, and amazement. `Saved by
Cordelia&ugh' I thought.

	"Get in!" she ordered, and I didn't need to be told
twice. Ms.
Calendar and I instantly got in.

	"We have to get to the library," I said, worried about
Giles. I hoped
he was still okay. I figured we'd be walking in until the car
lurched
forward. I let out a scream of surprise, and fear as the car smashed
into the building. We were now in the hallway. Cordelia screeched to a
halt in front of the library, as we dashed out of the car and into the
library. Giles evidently had no idea what was going on.

	"What's-" Giles began, but Jenny cut him off, as I tried
to find
objects to place in front of the doors.

	"Vampires. It seems that the Hellmouth isn't the Bronze, but
here,"
she exclaimed, as Giles frowned, before realizing what she had said.
He began helping me lug items against the door. He dashed upstairs,
and shifted a bookcase against the entrance in the stacks.

	"Damn, the office," he shouted, dashing in. Cordelia and
Jenny had
backed away from the library doors. I rushed upstairs along with Jenny
when I heard vampires knocking against the bookcases. I suddenly had
the feeling that something had a grip on my ankle. That feeling did
not make me happy, at all. I looked down to see a tendril had snaked
around my ankle. Of course, I screamed.

	"Get it off!" I screamed, Jenny held onto me, so I
wouldn't get
pulled into&whatever that thing's mouth was. It reminded me
of the
plant thing in Little Shop of Horrors, only much, much scarier. The
fact it was about to eat me, sort of raised the scale.

	"Giles!" Cordelia shouted, the librarian raced out of the
library
with a battle-axe in hand. He charged forward, and smashed it into the
creature's head as it let out a growl of pain. `That's
good&but cut
the tendril' I thought, not happy that it was still wrapped
around my
ankle. Giles began to take another swing, but got knocked off the
balcony and smashed through the table. I winced for him, then
remembered that I was about to be eaten. Terror again took control of
me.

~~~BTVS~~~

	Xander gasped, as he caught sight of Buffy's lifeless form in the
water. Angel was by his side, and had managed to keep himself under
control. He probably knew that Xander would stake him without a second
thought, and Buffy wouldn't care. Angel watched as Xander dashed
to
Buffy's side and turned her over.

	"Buffy?" Xander asked. He lowered his ear to her chest, and
checked
her wrist for a pulse.

	"She's dead&we have a chance though. If she drowned, CPR
could work,"
Xander said, more to himself then to Angel. Xander didn't give a
damn
about Angel anymore. Xander bent over Buffy and alternated between
breathing, and giving chest compressions.

	"Come on Buff. Willow will hate me forever if this doesn't
work,"
Xander joked, trying to ease his growing fear. Buffy's eyes jerked
open, causing Xander to fall back in surprise. Her coughing was music
to his ears, as he helped tilt her head to get the water out. Xander
helped Buffy to her feet.

	"Welcome back," he said, sincerity in his voice. Buffy
smiled, then
regarded Angel. Angel shrugged his shoulders.

	"He went upstairs," Angel said. Buffy nodded her head, and
looked at
Xander.

	"Thanks," she said, as she gave him a brief hug. She walked
up the
stairs. Xander and Angel followed the Slayer.

Chapter 9
	Buffy, Xander, and Angel reached the roof access. Buffy turned to
Xander and Angel.

	"You two, make sure that there aren't any vampires getting
involved,"
Buffy commanded, as both Xander and Angel nodded in affirmation. Buffy
turned, ascended the stairs, and walked onto the rooftop.

	"Yes. Come forth, my child. Come into my world," The Master
said,
clearly gleeful about the impending domination. Buffy, wasn't
quite
ready to relinquish the world just yet.

	"I don't think it's yours just yet," she taunted, as
The Master
turned, and looked at her in surprise. `Score one for me,'
she thought.

	"You're dead," said The Master, as if it were obvious.
Buffy smiled.

	"I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I
can say
for you," she quipped, which earned a snarl from the vampire.

	"You were destined to die! It was written," The Master
growled,
clearly not happy that Buffy stood there.

	"What can I say? I flunked the written," Buffy commented
with a grin.
The Master extended an arm, trying to hypnotize her again. Buffy
slowly walked to The Master, hypnotized. The Master smirked.

	"Did you really think you could best me here, when you
couldn't
below?" The Master asked, as he released his grip from
Buffy's neck.
Buffy tilted her head.

	"You have fruit punch mouth," she commented, eyebrows
scrunched. The
Master looked at her confused.

	"What?" he asked, his question being met by a hard punch to
the mouth
that sent him to the ground. Buffy stood there, defiant as ever.

	"Save the hypnosis crap for the tourists," she replied, and
executed
a roundhouse kick as The Master stumbled backwards. The Master lunged,
swiped, and just caught her chest with his nails. Buffy winced in
pain, but sent a punch to the kidney, and received a punch to her face
for the trouble. The Master blocked her next punch, and delivered one
of his own, and drove Buffy into the wall behind her. Buffy executed a
front tuck, and landed between The Master and the skylight. He whirled
around, and clutched her by the neck again, smiling evilly.

	"You laugh when my Hell is on Earth?" he asked, in a
taunting manner.
Buffy turned, looked down, and caught sight of the upended table. She
grabbed him by the throat, catching him by surprise.

	"You're that amped about Hell? Go there," she snapped,
using her
strength to launch the vampire over her head, and through the
skylight. She watched, as The Master was impaled. Giles slowly stood
up, as the creatures from the Hellmouth disappeared back into it.
Jenny, Cordelia, and I came into view. I looked up at Buffy, worried.

	"Stay right there Will. I'll be right down," Buffy
called out, as
Giles looked up at her in confusion.

	"You're not going to jump are you?" he asked, as Buffy
frowned, and I
glared at him.

	"No Giles! I'm taking the stairs," Buffy said, somewhat
indignant at
Giles questioning her common sense. The library doors swung open,
Xander and Angel entered, as Xander looked a little beat up. Buffy
soon appeared. I couldn't contain myself, dashing to Buffy, and
embracing her as tightly as I possibly could. Buffy smiled, glad that
I was safe.

	"Oh Buffy," I whispered, tears threatened to spill. I pulled
back,
and kissed Buffy hard on the mouth, Buffy pressed back. I pulled away,
a grin plastered on my face. I slowly realized who was watching, and
broke up the embrace, embarrassment coursing through my body.

	"Xander!" I cried out, not aware that I had even said
anything. All I
saw was Xander's body come flying through the air, and land in a
tumbled heap at our feet. I looked up from him to Angel. Anger,
confusion, and worry flooded my body.

	"Angel?" Buffy asked, in a half snarl. Angel laughed, the
sound sent
shivers down my spine. I noticed Giles move Jenny behind him. Cordelia
scampered behind Giles as well. Buffy stepped in front of me; while I
knelt down to tend to an unconscious Xander.

	"I really liked you Buffy. I never thought you'd go
dyke," he
remarked, evil glinted in his eyes. I could see Buffy tense.

	"You have a soul," she said, but Angel snorted.

	"Tricky thing about souls Buffy, they don't guarantee a good
person,
or in my case, a vampire. I was doing this whole redemption thing,
figured it'd help me feel better, and even win your heart.
Clearly,
that plan's failed. I'm cursed with a soul, sure, but it
doesn't do
much good when you have no remorse anymore," Angel said, with a
smirk,
abruptly shoved the doors open, and left. Buffy looked down at me. I
pleaded with her to stay, hoping my eyes would be enough. She sighed,
knelt down, and looked over Xander.

	"Giles, call 911," Buffy ordered. I wondered what was going
to be in
store for us now that Angel had gone evil.

Chapter 10
	Buffy and I walked up to my house. Buffy held my hand tightly, I
smiled back at her, but it was kind of hard to see her in the dark. We
walked up the steps, and onto the porch. I reached to open the door,
but Buffy stilled me. I looked at her confused.
	
"Wha-" I began, but stopped when I saw that the door was
already open.
`That's not good' I thought, knowing my parents would
never leave the
front door open like that. I could feel my concern growing, as Buffy
stepped past me, and entered my home. I followed slowly, eyes
scanning. Buffy turned to enter the living room, and let out a
startled gasp. I instantly turned to see what she had gasped at. I
felt my blood drain. "No," I whispered, as I walked into the
room,
suddenly oblivious to Buffy's presence.  Blood splattered the
walls,
the rug, the couches, and the ceiling. My mother hung limp from the
ceiling fan. She had a noose tied around her neck, which held her in
place. She was stripped naked; blood covered her chest, and torso. I
could see, clear as day, the fang marks in her neck. My father was
propped in a chair, newspaper spread across his lap, legs crossed. He
still had his pants and shoes on, but was shirtless. I crept forward;
I felt like I was in a dream, but knew this could never be such a
thing. My father also had fang marks in his neck. I never could've
asked for this. I wanted them to hurt&but this was above and
beyond. I
felt Buffy's arms wrap around me, but I was gone.

	"Will, come on," Buffy whispered into my ear, but I shook my
head. I
couldn't leave them! This is my entire fault. If I had never
wanted to
leave them, they never would've died. I turned, my body felt
vacant,
as I looked at Buffy. "You can stay with us," she said, and
tried to
get me out of my house. It wasn't my house anymore. It was a
graveyard.

	"OK," I said, numb to the world. Buffy led me back out onto
the
porch. I glanced back, reached out, and closed the door. The sound was
loud, and snapped me out of my trance, and back to reality. Tears just
fell, seemingly never ending. I buried my head against Buffy's
shoulder, just wanted the pain, the suffering, and the heartache to
disappear.

~~~BTVS~~~
	
	Joyce opened the door. She immediately hugged Buffy tight. She had
tears welling up, but was surprised when she saw me. I must've
looked
like a ghost, since I certainly felt like one.

	"Willow, what happened?" she asked, as I could feel my lips
tremble,
tears threatened to spill again. Buffy placed a hand against my back.

	"Mom, can we come in first? I'll tell you everything that
happened
tonight shortly," Buffy said, as Joyce nodded her head, and let us
walk in. Buffy turned to me.

	"You can go upstairs. If you need to take a shower, go
ahead," Buffy
said, as I just nodded my head, and walked upstairs. My mind was still
stuck on the brutal way my parents had died. I already knew who did
it. I thought about going out, getting revenge, but knew that I would
only get myself killed. Buffy would be devastated if that happened. I
reached the bedroom, and entered. I quickly changed out of the clothes
I was wearing, gathered up the pajamas I had borrowed last time, and
headed to the bathroom. I reached in, turned the knob, and listened to
the water splash against the floor. I stepped in, lowered my head, and
cried for my parents, for Buffy, and for everybody that had to die in
Sunnydale.

Chapter 11
	I was seated on Buffy's bed, hands clasped together, wondering
exactly what my future entailed. I no longer had a home, or parents. I
doubt any living relatives, if I even had any, would welcome me in. I
lifted my head at the sound of knocking. Buffy opened the door
slightly, and peeked her head in.

	"Hey Will," she said, softly. I tried to smile for her sake,
but
couldn't manage. She stepped in and closed the door. She stood
there,
hands clasped together, not sure what to say. I didn't want her
to be
nervous around me.

	"Can you sit with me?" I asked, the need for physical
comfort too
great to ignore. I desperately wanted to feel her. I wasn't ready
for
sex, but I couldn't be this way tonight. Buffy nodded her head,
quickly approached the bed, and sat next to me. I rested my head on
her shoulder. I snuggled against her, as she played with my hair. I
lifted my head, and stared at her.

	"How'd the talk go?" I asked. I wanted to get my mind
off what I&we
had been through. Buffy sighed, and continued to play with my hair,
but she leaned her head against the headboard.

	"Mom was silent through most of the talk. I think she was still
reeling over my being dead. I wasn't sure what to tell her about
your
parents. I told her that they had gone away," Buffy said. She
winced,
and I could tell she wasn't sure if she had offended me or not. I
gave
her a weak smile.

	"I'll tell her tomorrow. If it's not too much trouble,
could we bury
my parents somewhere? It's just that I don't want to have
them&rotting
in the street somewhere," I whispered. My voice sounded hollow to
my ears.

	"Sure. We should inform the gang of what happened; keep them
aware of
what's going on. I'm sorry Willow. I'm sorry that I
couldn't kill him
earlier," Buffy said. I shook my head, and gave her a stern look.

	"It's not your fault, Buffy. We knew he was a vampire, and
yet we
ignored that. Xander was, amazingly, the smartest of us all. He never
forgot what Angel was," I said, as I tried to ease Buffy's
guilt. I
was too exhausted to stay angry. Buffy lowered her head, and kissed me
on the forehead. "What are you going to do?" I asked. I knew
what she
would do, but I wanted to hear it come from her.

	"I'm going to kill him. He's a monster. He deserves to
be tortured,
however, killing him quickly gets him out of our lives quicker,"
Buffy
said, as she traced a finger over my collarbone. I shivered at the
soft feeling of her fingertip brushing against my skin.

	"So long as he dies," I murmured, as sleep started to
overcome me.
Buffy gave me a sad smile.

	"He will," she stated, and kissed me on the forehead again.
I closed
my eyes, and fell asleep to the beating of Buffy's heart.

Chapter 12
	I was in the kitchen, seated alone at the countertop. Joyce had just
finished the toast, and gave me a couple slices. I smiled my thanks,
but hadn't touched them yet. Joyce looked at me, concerned. Buffy
was
still asleep upstairs, and I had wanted to tell Joyce alone.

	"Is something wrong Willow?" Joyce asked. She stared at me,
just
waiting patiently. I lifted my head, and gazed at her.

	"W-what did Buffy tell you&last night&about my
parents?" I asked. I
wanted to know what Buffy had told Joyce before I spoke. Joyce looked
confused for a moment, but smiled at me.

	"She said that they had, uh, gone on vacation again," she
replied. I
swallowed, not sure how to dive into this.

	"Uh, Joyce. They didn't go on vacation. Well, they did, but
it's not
really a short-term vacation of the weekly, monthly, or even yearly
variety. Not that it's really a vacation either; it is in some
areas
of the world but-" I babbled, very nervous. Joyce grabbed one of
my
hands with both of hers.

	"What happened Willow?" she asked, concern, and worry on her
face. I
would've broken down, but I had to be strong to say what was
coming next.

	"They're dead," I whispered, tears now falling. It was
the first time
I really said it, and it tore my heart to pieces. Damn Angel. Joyce
gasped, then rushed around the countertop, and hugged me. She pulled
back away, as I lifted my sleeve up, and wiped my tears away.

	"Do you have anywhere to stay?" she asked, dreading my
answer. I
shook my head. I didn't want to live with any other relatives. I
only
felt safe there, although living in Sunnydale, that notion probably
didn't mean much.

	"I don't know any living relatives. I don't really have
any friends
either, that I could stay with," I stammered, as I played with
the hem
of my pajama sleeve.

	"Would you like to stay with us? I'm not sure about legal
guardianship, but&" Joyce said, as she trailed off. I lifted my
eyes,
but masked my hope.

	"Are you sure? I don't want to infringe," I said, as
Joyce smiled,
and hugged me again.

	"You're a great girl Willow. Buffy loves you. If you want to
stay,
all you have to do is say yes," Joyce said. I felt tears shimmer
again, and wiped them away. I willed myself not to cry.

	"Y-yes," I whispered, a smile tugged at my lips. Just then,
I heard
the padded steps of my girlfriend.

	"Mmm&toast, smells good," said Buffy. She grabbed a
slice from my
plate, and bit into it contentedly. I smirked at her, as she looked
from Joyce back to me.

	"What's going on?" she asked, confused. I looked at
Joyce, unsure if
she wanted to tell.

	"Go ahead Willow," Joyce said, with a smile. Buffy turned her
attention to me.

	"I'll be living here," I said, softly. I wasn't sure
if I should feel
guilty or not, and that ate at me. Buffy squealed, and gave me a death
hug. I groaned, letting her know it was tight enough. She broke it
off, but her smile could have lit up a thousand bulbs. Then, her smile
turned to a frown, as she remembered why I would be living here. I
sighed.

	"We should get ready for school," I said, trying to get off
the
depressing topic. Buffy and Joyce nodded their heads in agreement.

	"School&right," said Buffy, as she headed towards the
stairs. I followed.

~~~BTVS~~~

	Buffy and I entered the library, arms linked. Giles, Cordelia,
Xander, and Jenny were already seated at the table. We walked up to
them slowly, as Buffy took a seat next to Xander. I remained on my
feet though. All eyes were now focused on me. I could tell they all
knew something bad had gone down. This was worse then bad though. I
mean, it was at the stratosphere of badville. Whatever they were
contemplating happened, they had no idea.

	"How are you? You don't look that well," Giles said,
concern in his
voice. I lowered my head. Well? Of course I didn't look well! I
probably looked like a corpse. I damn sure felt like one. 

	"Angel&He killed my parents," I said, as I swallowed a
sob. I could
feel them blanching. I lifted my eyes. I saw them react. They were
horrified of course. I'm sure they were trying to feel what I
felt,
but there was no way they could. It's unexplainable, the feelings
that
were coursing through my body. It was like a riptide, going up and
down, over and over again. Up went my sorrow, and down went my
despair. Up went my pain, and down went my emptiness. I understood
that they wanted to feel what I felt. They never would though, and
that angered me a little. Here I was, suffering. I had to find my
parents dead. What could they do? Tell me how sorry they were? That
was a great comfort to me. Willow, Jewish redhead finds parents dead,
but friends are sorry so all my pain goes away like the flip of a
light switch. I was feeling angry. I know I shouldn't but I
can't help
it. It's like I'm alone on this and nobody else can connect
with me on
my level.

	"Dear Lord," Giles whispered, horrified at what Angel could
do. "Is
everybody else alright?" he asked. Cordelia shook her head.

	"Angel paid me a visit too. Not that I saw him. I went into my
room,
to find a Jack Russell terrier nailed to my door. It had an envelope
in its mouth with pictures of&" Cordelia trailed off, as I felt a
sharp stab of pain in my gut. Angel couldn't just kill my
parents. He
had to make my friends suffer through them too.

	"I received an e-mail. The pictures were attached," said
Jenny,
quietly. I felt my body deflate, and slumped into a chair next to
Buffy. Buffy wrapped her arms around me. I looked at her hazel eyes,
and saw tears brimming. I hated seeing my life hurt the ones I loved.

	"Could we bury my parents today? They deserve that much," I
said, as
Buffy nodded her head.

	"Of course baby," she said, a forlorn smile on her face.

	"Absolutely Willow. It's the least we can do," Giles
said, as I
nodded my head in thanks. Giles looked down, and reached into his coat
pocket. He pulled out a letter, folded neatly, and tied together. He
handed it to Buffy who looked at him. She was confused, and a bit
leery. She turned to me, but my focus was entirely on the letter.
Giles hasn't said a word, and I want to know what it contains.
Looking
back, I should've just fled the room. Buffy opened it, and read
it aloud.

To Buffy Summers,

If you're receiving this letter, you understand what has been
accomplished. You have seen my handiwork, and are aware that I am no
longer the vampire you knew. I was sick of it, Buffy. I was given a
soul by a gypsy clan and I was forced against my will to suffer for
what I had done. I was forced to look back at my kills with sadness,
despair, and a hurting heart. So I tried to redeem myself, Buffy. I
lived off rats and pigs blood in the hope that the Fates would smile
at me and forgive me. That never happened though, and I continued on
my course, determined to find something that would help me attain
forgiveness. I saw you when you were chosen. I figured that helping
you out upon your arrival to Sunnydale would put me back in their good
graces. I helped you, time and again, and yet nothing was changing. I
was still forced to drink pigs blood and look back at my past with
haunted eyes. I couldn't stand it any longer, Buffy, and the final
straw was when you chose Willow to be your mate. My redemption had
turned from that to a way to win your heart. I thought it was working
too, especially after we kissed. Then I learned that you and Willow
were together, and I had lost my chance to love you. What good was
redemption and fighting to be a good guy then? You wouldn't have
given
a damn and the Fates still weren't satisfied with the job I was
doing.
I finally gave up, on life, on good intentions, and on you. I
didn't
turn evil, Buffy. It wasn't like there was a sign that said go
right
for Good and go left for Evil. I was always evil, Buffy, and it was
just a matter of me finding that within myself. Humanity, all of
humanity, is evil in some form or another. Evilness lies in lying,
sleeping with whores, raping women, or murdering innocents. I missed
the feeling of the kill. I missed the euphoria that came with biting
into a victim and seeing the pain, fear, and mistrust in their eyes.
My evil was in murder, Buffy, and now you understand that don't
you?
All I had to do was look, deep inside myself to return to what I truly
was. I tried to shield myself, pretend that Evil didn't exist in
me
anymore. I was lying to myself though. I already was Evil by simply
lying to myself. Tell Willow, that her father put up a damn good
fight. It's been a while since a victim of mine managed to land a
good
blow before dying. He caught me right along the cheek, left a nice
cut. He even managed to scream her name before I ripped his throat
open. Her mother wasn't a battler though. She was still naïve
right up
to the point where my fangs sank into her. It took me a good hour to
finally figure out how I wanted them set up. Originally, I was going
to have them splayed out on Willow's bed with roses and a bottle
of
wine. I think I should've gone that way, but the expression on
your
faces was still priceless. My fun's just begun sweetheart and that
act, was just the first scene.

Angel

	I ran and didn't stop. Words and images were swirling in my
head, a
jumbling mass of blood, evil, and death. I knocked a girl down in the
hallway. Normally I would've apologized profusely. I'm not
one to go
around hurting others. Of course, it seems as of late, that's all
I've
been doing. I reached the bathroom in time, and managed to empty my
contents into the toilet. I kept going, my stomach refusing to give up
on finding anything. They didn't deserve this at all. I could
sense
Buffy's presence, but she was giving me space. I wonder if this is
hell. I wonder if this is my hell, seeing my parents die, my world
turn upside down, and seeing it affect others. I blacked out then,
just lost in my sickness.

Chapter 13
	I stood in my parents' living room. The blood was still
everywhere. I
gazed down at my mother and father, now dressed respectably. I glanced
at Buffy, who had just come in from the backyard. I had woken up back
in the library. I had stayed quiet. I could tell that Buffy, and the
others were worried. I couldn't tell them what I was going through
though. They could never understand. It was like wearing a mask. I
show them one side while hiding the other.

	"We're ready," she said. I nodded my head, and walked
outside. Giles
and Xander stepped past me, going to help Buffy move the bodies. I
walked out onto the porch, stepped down the steps, and walked onto the
grass. The graves were large. I think Giles and Xander
overcompensated. Jenny wrapped an arm around me. I smiled at her, but
it felt empty. I looked up as Giles and Xander carried my mother out
first. I could feel the tears falling now. I wonder if I'll ever
stop
crying. Giles and Xander stepped down into the grave, and lowered my
mother's body down gently. I looked at her and smiled. I remember
the
better days. Giles stepped out of the grave, and entered the house
again. Soon, he reappeared. He carried my father with Buffy's
help.
The same scene played out in the other grave. Giles, Xander, and
Cordelia stood next to each other. Buffy gave me a hug. She just held
me as I looked down at my parents.

	"Okay," I said. I could've talked about their past. How
they were
great parents, which they were, sometimes. Instead, I cherished their
memories. The gang knew my feelings towards them. Saying it out loud
would mean nothing. I will always love them. I turned away, and
listened to the dirt being poured on their bodies. Buffy wrapped an
arm around me, and walked me away.

~~~BTVS~~~

	It was night when I heard what had happened. I'm still a little
hazy
on the details. Buffy had come into our room and I noticed the phone
in her hand. Her hand seemed so small, fragile, like it was part of a
china doll. Buffy was pale, reminded me of a grim reaper. I let out a
hysterical giggle then. I don't think Buffy even noticed. She
handed
me the phone, and I just listened. Even if I could've spoken, my
mouth
was hanging like wires hinged together by silly putty. They
wouldn't
have worked. All I heard was that Jenny was in the hospital. Lucky me.
Here I was struggling with my parents' death and yet the world
moved
on, completely oblivious of my pain and suffering. I mean, I had just
buried my parents this morning and suddenly I was moving onto how
Jenny was harmed. Couldn't God or Fate or whomever just give me
some
time to mourn? I know I was being selfish there but&I feel like
I'm
the only one who's endured something and hasn't been given
time to
mourn, at all. I want to be strong, for Buffy, for Joyce, and for the
Gang but I'm only Willow. I don't know if I can handle it. I
look up
at Buffy. She looks catatonic, and I know she's accumulating guilt
upon herself. I want to help her, I do, but I have to grieve first.

Chapter 14
	I was seated in the living room, on the couch, just grieving. I was
completely ignoring the world around me. Angel, Buffy, Giles, they all
didn't exist in my world that I was lost in. There were no
vampires or
demons or apocalyptic prophecies. It was just my mother, my father,
and I. I smiled to myself; the memories play in my head like a tape
deck. Reel after reel, image after image, story after story fulfills
my mind of what once was. I had watched Buffy fall asleep. I watched
her for a few minutes. She was tossing and turning. I couldn't
deal
with her guilt though. I still had my guilt and my pain to focus on. I
sighed, wondering what went wrong. My happy memories are turning to
stone, filled by memories of ignorance. I see another postcard on the
fridge door. It reads from Russia, but they are all a blur by then. I
never realized how neglectful they were. I shouldn't hate them.
This
is time to love them, and cherish them right? That's what the
movies
and the books say. That when you grieve, you remember the deceased for
the good but now, all I can remember is the bad. I close my eyes,
pretending that my mother cared about my extra curricular activities
and that my father was always there to help me with my homework.
There's my mother helping me bake cookies for my history class,
hugging me, and kissing me. She's full of adoration and love. My
father's looking over my awards in Science, proud of my
accomplishments. It's gone in an instant though. Angel's now
standing
next to my father, an evil grin on his face, and I can feel my body
turn to stone. My father's dead now, and my mother goes to check
on
him. I charge at Angel but it's futile, my hand goes right through
him. He kills my mother next. I felt myself jerk awake then, not aware
that I had even fallen asleep. Joyce is seated across from me. I
assume Buffy's still asleep but I have no idea.

	"Will I ever be able to love them, Joyce?" I asked, my voice
tiny.
Joyce sat next to me, and just held me, like my mother never had the
time to do. That one gesture made me feel even worse.

	"You'll always love your parents, Willow. Although it may
not seem
that way now, you wouldn't be in this much pain if you
didn't," Joyce
replied, soothingly. I just rested my head on her shoulder. I wonder
if the pain I'm feeling is for them&or for myself. That
scares me.
What if I don't feel pain for them? What if it's just me being
selfish, going all woe is me?

	"How did you deal?" I asked. It was a stupid question, since
I didn't
even know if Joyce had lost anybody, but I needed to feel like I could
get over this. Joyce sighed softly, and kissed my head.

	"I grieved, for a month. I still went to school, and work, but
it was
tough. Having Buffy and Hank around made the grieving process a little
easier. It never goes away though Willow. We all grieve in our own
ways. Some focus completely on it, while others push it away, and
focus on life," Joyce said. I lifted my head slightly, trying to
make
eye contact.

	"I want to live life. I want to be strong Willow, go to school,
help
save the world again, but what if I can't? I-I'll let down
Buffy. I
don't want to be sullen, mopey Willow. I-I want to be happy,
carefree
Willow," I whispered, trying to get Joyce to wave a wand and fix
me.
Joyce smiled sadly.

	"You are strong, Willow. Strong is being able to live, after
whatever
obstacles cross your path. You'll always be strong, even when
you're
grieving," Joyce answered. I sighed and rested my head on her
shoulder
again.

	"Does it ever get easier?" I asked. I hate feeling this
hurt. It's
like a tornado went through my body and took everything out.

	"It lessens over time. It never disappears though. Strong people
make
sure it never disappears," Joyce replied. I closed my eyes again.
I
focused on my childhood, and the way my mother and father showered me
with attention that was since forgotten when I reached junior high.

Chapter 15
	It had been two weeks since Jenny was attacked. She was out of the
hospital now. She had suffered a broken leg, and a fractured forearm.
We were quiet about it, but I could tell that it was festering in all
of us. I never saw her in the hospital. I couldn't handle being
there,
seeing all the patients dying or maimed. I have seen enough of that
amongst my friends and family to last a lifetime. I didn't see the
need to remind myself that there were other families suffering like
me. That and I don't think I could've handled the jealousy if
I saw a
kid reunited with their parents. I spent a full week grieving. By the
end of the week, I had begun to start envisioning the happier
memories. It was a nice change of pace from the hate that I hadn't
realized had been festering inside all those years. The nightmares
still remained though, and they weren't going to leave anytime
soon.
They revolved around Angel killing my friends and the ones I loved. I
never saw him kill Buffy though. He'd always be on the verge,
Buffy
staring at me, the loss, begging of forgiveness, and love in her eyes.
I always woke up when Angel lowered his head. I like to think I wake
up because of hope. Knowing that Buffy doesn't give in and
manages to
kill Angel. I know why I wake up though. Seeing her taken away
from&Angel wouldn't do that. He wouldn't just let her
die. He'd change
her. That's a greater torture for both of us than either of us
dying.

	"You ready Will?" Buffy asked, as she peeked her head into
the room.
I nodded my head. I was going to go on patrol with her. I wanted to
start bonding with her again. She let me grieve, which I was grateful
for. Sometimes she'd be there when I woke up from a nightmare,
other
times she'd be sleeping downstairs. I know she's trying to be
strong
for me. I can tell she doesn't want to show her fear, because
she's
the Slayer, and Slayers are supposed to be tough and not emotional. I
wish she'd let go though. Give me some hope that I wasn't
alone in all
this. I sighed, and followed my lover out the door.

~~~BTVS~~~

	Nothing had popped up yet. Well, a couple vampires had shown up, but
they were staked quickly. Buffy wasn't really in the mood to have
a
lengthy fight it seemed. She was quiet though, as was I. I knew she
wanted to talk and I wanted to talk. I was in pain, and I needed to
confide in her. I just didn't know how though. How could I tell
her
what I was going through when she's never gone through something
this
bad? Okay, that was a selfish shot and I admonish myself. Buffy looked
over at me and I just watched her. Finally I gave in, starting the
conversation first.

	"How's Jenny?" I asked. I hadn't seen her for a
while. I think I'd
flee if I did see her. The guilt would be too much for me to handle
you know? Buffy gave me a smile, but it seemed forced, and not
genuine.

	"She's healing. Giles has been taking care of her. I think
they like
each other, though Giles would never admit it to me," Buffy
replied.
Her smile turned sad. I could tell she was blaming herself.
That's it!
We can't be grieving, guilt ridden, mopey people. Sunnydale
depends on
us, even if we aren't known. I grabbed Buffy by the shoulders.

	"I'm trying to be strong here, you know? I-I want to help.
I'm sick
of sitting around, wallowing in pity. I have just cause to, I know.
It's a pretty darn big just cause. I can't handle it anymore,
Buffy. I
feel like I'm dying. Every time I think of them, it all revolves
back
to Angel, and what he did. I'm becoming depressed, Buffy, and I
don't
want to be depressed anymore. I know that the pain won't ever go
away,
and I'm glad it won't because it means I'll always care.
I miss being
able to laugh and be happy. I feel all alone, Buffy," I said,
finally
stopping to breathe. I can feel the tears coursing down my cheeks.
Buffy just looks at me. I can see her trying to steel herself, stay
strong. That just sends me over the edge though. "Stop being
strong
for me, Buffy! I know you think it's the right thing to do, and I
appreciate you trying, but I need to know that there's somebody
else
that is suffering too. Everybody's being strong, and I feel like
I'm
the only one who's dying inside. Xander, Cordelia, Jenny, Giles,
Joyce, and you are all being strong. I don't need strong! I'm
not
asking for depressed, mopey people, but I am asking to see pain. When
I look at you guys, it's like you've moved on. Like you guys
are
focused on the future while I'm stuck at the fork, still hurting.
I
don't want to be left behind," I whispered, my anger turning
to
sadness. I felt myself crumple to the ground, as sobs wracked my body.
I sense Buffy kneel down next to me. She embraced me.

	"I'm sorry Willow. I wanted to be strong, you know, because
I thought
that's what you needed. I didn't mean to hurt you, or make
you think I
didn't care about your loss. I do care, deeply. If I had known you
thought I was diminishing your parents&" Buffy said, and trailed
off.
I nodded my head, understanding. I don't want her to hurt like
me, but
it's nice to see that I'm not the only one affected by this.

	"I shouldn't have gone off on you Buffy. It's just that,
I'm
harboring all this pain you know? I don't know how to handle it
anymore. I've cried, I've become depressed, and the pain
isn't
lessening. Why isn't it lessening Buffy? Why can't I move on
like
everybody else?" I sob. Buffy whispered soothings into my ear as
my
tears stopped. I looked up at her. 

	"It hasn't lessened, because you won't let it,"
called a voice behind
me. My veins turn to ice. Buffy glared at the figure behind my back
and instantly shot to her feet. I stood up slowly and turned.
"You're
afraid that if you move on, you'll forget all about your parents.
You'll forget all the minor things they did. You'll forget
what they
looked like, how their voices sounded, and maybe even where they
lived. I wasn't so fortunate though. No&I remembered every
little
fucking detail of my kills. I really wasn't given much choice in
the
matter though," Angel said. He leaned against a tree, arms crossed
over his chest. He'd been watching us. I felt anger, then terror.
He's
here to taunt us, not fight, and that scares me more than anything. He
did something; I can feel it in my bones.

	"You want to fight?" Buffy asked. She's thinking with
her Slayer
side, not with her Buffy side, though really they are one and the
same. Angel just smirked. I wanted to slap his smirk off his face.

	"You don't get it, Buffy. I'm not here to fight at all.
If I were
here to fight, I would've attacked when Willow was babbling on
about
your being strong for her. You always were too strong, Buffy. You
never could just let your walls go down. You had to be the strong one,
for everybody. You couldn't cry, for fear that your friends would
look
down on you. I have to leave, unfortunately. Business to attend to and
all that, but you might want to check up on Xander. How's Jenny
doing
by the way? Last I heard, she was somewhat wheelchair bound. Oh,
don't
worry Buffy. I'm planning on making a visit soon enough. This is
fun,
really fun, actually but I think it's time we went full tilt
now,"
Angel said, a giggle escaped from his lips. My mind is full of my
parents dying again. I feel like I'm cursed now, and I'll
never be
free of this torment. Angel walked away, not waiting for an answer.
Buffy turned her face to me, and I suppose I'm mirroring her
reaction.
Then again, maybe I'm not, seeing as how my mind is full of dead
parents.

	"Xander," I whispered. I couldn't take this anymore. My
parents,
Jenny, and now Xander were all getting hurt. I couldn't stop it
either. None of us could. Angel was toying with us, and we can't
do a
thing.

Chapter 16
	I stood by the side of the bed. Buffy had willed me to the hospital.
I really didn't want to go, thinking back to my feelings when
Jenny
was here. Xander needed me though. I&needed to move on. If I
wanted to
move on, and stop grieving, this was the first step. I knew that, and
I had to do it.

	"Hey," I whispered, and held Xander's hand. He was
quiet, but his
eyes were full of thanks. I smiled, and willed myself not to cry. The
doctor said that he had a broken nose. Luckily, that's all it was
though. Xander moaned. "What?" I asked, my hand clenched his
tighter.
I didn't want to see him hurting. I was sick of people hurting on
my
watch.

	"Damn," he mumbled. I frowned, worried that the doctor had
missed
something. Xander could be hurt worse than he's showing! Xander
must've seen my panic as he smiled. "My jaw's a
little&sore. I'm
glad&you're here Will," he said. I smiled.

	"I'll always be there for you," I whispered. I bent
down, and kissed
him on the forehead. He sighed, and closed his eyes. I watched him for
a couple minutes after that. Watched his chest rise and fall. I wished
there were some way to take away the pain, short of using magic. Giles
would kill me if I tried that. My emotions were too mixed to even
attempt it. I opened the door and walked back into the hallway. I sat
down next to Buffy and Joyce.

	"How is he?" asked Joyce. I smiled at her, as Buffy wrapped
her arms
around me. I snuggled against her, enjoying the warmth.

	"He's resting, but he seems okay," I replied. I glanced
at Jenny,
still in her wheelchair. I lowered my eyes, guilt swallowing me. I
could hear the tires roll across the floor, and looked up.

	"Can we talk?" asked Jenny. I nodded my head, and glanced at
Buffy.
She gave me a smile, and a nod. I stood up, the feeling of fleeing in
my head. I followed Jenny into the hallway as she turned to me.

	"You feel guilty don't you?" she asked. I nodded my head.

	"If it wasn't for me-" I began, but Jenny shook her head.

	"Oh, no. No pitying me, or my condition. No feeling sorry for
what
happened to me, Willow. I don't need pity or guilt. What happened
happened. It's in the past, and that's where it belongs.
Buffy told me
that you were having trouble moving on," Jenny said. I nodded my
head
again. "I can't imagine your loss, and won't pretend that
I do. We
learn from our mistakes, and we continue forward in our lives. The
world needs us, Willow. You won't forget them, you never will. No
matter how hard you try, they'll always be there in you. You can
either believe that, and move on, or be scared, and stay. It's up
to
you though," Jenny said, softly. I nod my head. I want to believe
that. I know now that I have to. If I don't&I decide not to
think
about that. Thinking about that might cause my brain to go into
overload.

	"Okay," I said. I reached my hand down and took hers. Jenny
smiled up
at me, and I smiled back. I suddenly felt good, like a weight had been
lifted from my shoulders. It was a start in my road to recovery.
It'd
be a long trek, but I'm ready to go all the way.

~~~BTVS~~~

	I awoke, not realizing that my head was resting on Joyce's
shoulder.
I blushed, but she just smiled at me. I looked around and frowned, not
seeing Buffy. I turned my eyes back to Joyce.

	"Where's Buffy?" I asked, curious. I figure she's on
patrol, though I
hope not. Angel already made an unscheduled appearance and I'm
afraid
he'll return. He could have also changed his mind on wanting to
fight.

	"She went on patrol. She said she had to work off some
tension,"
Giles answered. I stared at the floor, unsure of how I should feel. On
one hand, I could understand it completely. She had tension, and
needed to relax. On the other hand, she could be in danger, or be
harmed by Angel. He's done enough to mess my life up. Mess up all
our
lives even.

	"She'll be fine," Joyce said. I smiled at her, wanted to
be as sure
as she is, but I can't help but still feel the worry in the pit
of my
stomach. I sighed and leaned my head back on her shoulder. I'm
surprised. It's like I've lived with Joyce all my life now.
I've grown
attached to her, and I like it. She's like my mother that never
was.
She worries about me, is affectionate, and I can talk to her, open
myself up without being worried about getting a lecture. It's a
nice
feeling to have.

Chapter 17
	Xander was released the next day. We were seated in the library, but
it was nighttime. Buffy told me that nothing eventful had happened
last night. I knew she was lying though. The big cut above her eye
said otherwise, but I remained quiet. I trusted her to tell me, when
she wanted to. I wouldn't press her into telling me everything
that
went on. Joyce did that enough for the both of us. Giles was busy
looking over books, trying to find out anything on Angel that he could
get his hands on. He had contacted The Council, but they hadn't
given
us anything really useful. They gave us information, but it was stuff
we had already read about. A big help they were. I sighed and rested
my chin on the palms of my hands. Buffy was rubbing my back. I smiled
at her, and she returned it.

	"U-Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find anything, erm,
new on
Angel. His Vampiric side, Angelus that is, was the one who terrorized.
I haven't found anything about Angel himself, um, doing such
things,"
Giles stammered. I closed my eyes, weariness growing.

	"Why don't we just go after him?" Xander asked. I looked
at him. I
wanted to, and I'm pretty sure we all did. Buffy said he had left
his
old haunt though. She had no idea where he was.

	"I want to Xander. If we did that though, he would have the
advantage. We need to let him come to us. He's not stupid though.
We
can't just use somebody as bait and lure him in, since he would
never
fall for that," Buffy stated. Xander sighed, and let out a low
growl
of frustration. I understood his frustration, but Buffy was right.
He's had the advantage for far too long. We can't just go
after him
and get ourselves killed.

	"You're right, Buffy. I wouldn't fall for that, but
I'm glad you
thought that anyway," said Angel. He was standing in front of the
library doors. I immediately moved behind Buffy. Giles stood up in
front of Jenny, still confined to her wheelchair, and not exactly in
any condition to fight.

	"Angel," hissed Giles. He looked&scary. He rivaled Angel
actually, in
terms of anger at least. As far as I know, Giles had never killed
anyone, I hope.

	"Just stopped by. I'm itching for a fight. Going around,
killing, and
injuring is fun but it gets tedious after a while. Anybody want to
indulge me?" Angel asked, a smirk on his face. I glared. I
can't
believe I can hate somebody this much. I didn't even hate
Cordelia or
Harmony this much! Buffy stepped forward. I placed a hand on her
shoulder, but she shrugged me off. I frowned, not happy at the
gesture.

	Angel charged first. Buffy delivered a sidekick, bending Angel over.
A right hand was blocked and Angel delivered a hard backhand. I
winced, hoping Buffy wasn't badly hurt. Dumb hope, I know. Xander
had
shifted over to the weapons cage. I stayed frozen.

	"Put up a fight Buffy. Are you lacking in reasoning? How about
the
fact that I killed Willow's parents? Injured Jenny?" asked
Angel,
taunting her. Buffy snarled. Xander had now opened the cage. Buffy
charged, but Angel snapped her head back with a left jab. He blocked a
high kick, and lifted Buffy up, slamming her to the ground.
Angel's
back was to me now. I did the dumbest thing I could possibly do. I
leaped onto his back, trying to choke him. My mind was filled with my
nightmares. More specifically, the nightmare of Buffy getting changed
and&well, I never knew if she got changed, but I didn't want
to get
that far. Angel was spinning wildly, grabbed me by the hair, and threw
me against the cage. I groaned in pain, falling to the ground. Xander
exited the weapons cage, axe in hand. He charged at Angel, and
promptly got tossed onto the table. It didn't splinter, and Xander
just slid off. I stood up, but stayed where I was. Giles emerged from
his office, crossbow in hand.

	"Giles, don't fire," I shouted. Angel turned his
attention to Giles,
allowing Buffy time to execute a snap kick to Angel's jaw. Angel
staggered backwards. I looked on in worry and fear. Buffy hit a hard
right, and pulled a stake from her pocket. She went for the drive, but
Angel clutched her wrist, and bent it hard enough to sprain it. Buffy
grunted in pain, and dropped the stake to the floor. He kicked Buffy
hard in the chest, and sent Buffy to the floor. Giles fired, catching
Angel in the shoulder with his bolt. Angel snarled at him, and turned
to me. I paled, wondering if he'd kill me. Buffy got up, charged,
and
got thrown into Giles. Both sprawled to the ground. Xander was finally
getting up. Angel crept up to me, and leaned forward. I waited for the
bite, but it never came.

	"They tasted good Willow. The time for fun and games is over. I
had a
good time here. Tell your girl; I want her alone in Restfield
Cemetery, tomorrow night. I see or even sense any of you, and I
walk,"
Angel whispered in my ear. I closed my eyes as he kissed me on the
forehead, and sauntered out of the room. I slumped to the floor. I
think my heart's stopped, or if it hasn't, it's really
close to doing
so. I felt Buffy's hand checking my face for injuries. I leaned
into
the touch, and smiled.

	"I'm fine Buffy. He wants to meet you, alone, in Restfield
Cemetery
tomorrow night," I said. Buffy frowned, as Xander stepped forward.

	"We'll back up Buffy," he said, but I shook my head.

	"No! Uh, I mean, he said that if he saw us or even sensed us,
he'd
walk away," I added. Xander kept the angry look, but turned to
stare
at the table instead. I looked at Buffy, and tried to express my fear
and concern in words but they fail me. Buffy got it though.

	"I love you too Willow. Don't worry about me, okay? I can
handle
myself. Angel's too pompous to enlist help. He wants to kill me
himself," Buffy said. I shook my head, as I felt sadness
overwhelming
me now.

	"He wants to change you Buffy. He knows that making you or I
into a
vampire would be far more devastating than just killing us," I
whispered. She sighed, and nuzzled her head against the crook of my
neck.

	"He'll never change me Willow. I won't let him. I
promise you," she
said. I looked into her eyes, and I could see that she intended to
keep her promise. It's a determination she had when she killed The
Master. I smiled, glad that she can do what she does. Without her,
well, I'd have been dead much earlier.

Chapter 18
	Buffy had been tense since we woke up together this morning. I knew
why she was tense though. I tried to comfort her throughout the day,
but finally decided to give her space. I'm seated at home,
Joyce's
home, now. Actually, I'm seated on the couch, inside Joyce's
home. I
still can't call it my home yet. It'll take a while for that
to
happen. Joyce is sitting next to me. I told her what's going to
happen
tonight. She's not pleased, but understands given what Angel has
done.
I sighed, as I continued to glance out the window. Buffy left an hour
ago, and hadn't come back. Joyce squeezed my hand.

	"She'll be here soon, Willow," Joyce said, as I nodded
my head. Worry
has enveloped me though. I can't get past the nightmare. My other
nightmares have been dissipating as of late, but the thought of Buffy
being turned makes me sick to my soul. If she was changed, I
couldn't
kill her. I don't have it in me, no matter what Buffy would
desire. I
would continue to see her as my Buffy, even as a vampire. I heard the
door open, leapt to my feet, and dashed.

	"Oh God," I whispered. Buffy was a wreck. She was breathing,
which
was good, but she was a wreck. She was missing her leather jacket, and
her white top had been torn in half, revealing her stomach. I
would've
found it quite sexy, if I weren't so wrapped up in concern for her
health. She tried to smile, but managed just to wince. Joyce was
behind me, and let out a gasp. Buffy had a hole in her stomach. I
shuddered to think what had happened. I led her into the living room.
Joyce had already run to retrieve the first aid kit. I sat down on the
couch, and carefully stripped Buffy. She was hurt so bad. She
wouldn't
admit it though.

	"He's dead," she whispered, tried to smile but
couldn't pull it off.
I smiled, and refocused my attention on her wounds. She was now just
standing in her bra and panties, but I didn't care. She had a few
lacerations on her legs, and bruises on her arms. Joyce sat next to
me, as we tended to the Slayer. I heard Buffy hiss several times, but
ignored them. After a good two hours, I set down the first aid kit. I
stood up. I wanted to hug her. Tell her how glad I was that she was
alive. Tell her that she was my everything. I hugged her, tightly. She
let out another hiss of pain, but I kept my hold on her. I was moving
on. My parents would always be in me. Now, Buffy needed me. I kissed
her, passion fueling me. She kissed back. I broke the kiss, and just
grinned at my lover. I belonged to her now.

	I sat down again. Joyce had grabbed a bathrobe, sometime when I
wasn't looking. Probably when I was kissing her daughter. I
blushed,
and lowered my head. Joyce handed Buffy the bathrobe, which she put on
slowly. I stood up, and helped ease it on. Buffy rested her head on my
shoulder, as we sat down. I wanted to know what happened. Instead, I
just let Buffy relax. She needed me then. We could talk later.

~~~BTVS~~~

	It had been a week since Buffy's fight with Angel. I flash back
to
what Buffy told us. I remember we were seated on the living room
floor.

"&I hit him with a flurry of punches, then sent him down to the
ground
with a roundhouse kick. I pulled the stake out of my pocket, and went
for the death blow. Angel caught my wrist, grabbed my stake, and stuck
it in my stomach. That explains the hole that Willow and my mother
saw. Angel was straddling me then. I had nowhere to go, and the stake
was too far away to reach. I felt something in my pants pocket though.
I fished the object out with my fingertips, and rolled it onto my
chest. I lifted it up, and just held it there. Angel bent down to bite
me, and his chest pressed down on my number 2 pencil. He went poof, in
a cloud of dust," Buffy finished. I hugged her tightly then.

I had moved all of my belongings out of my old home a few days after.
I finally felt relaxed. Buffy had told us about the fight yesterday.
Most of her wounds had healed, thankfully. She still hurt when she
bent down, but she no longer hissed. The story was tough, on everybody
of course. Everybody else was in shock at what had gone down. I was
proud. Don't get me wrong, I was shocked at hearing about her
suffering, but I was proud at the way she fought. She never gave up,
no matter how bleak things looked. She was my Slayer. She would fight
to the death for me, and that made me prouder than anything else in
the world. How many people can say that? I could go over what
happened, but that's the past. I'm no longer left behind
anymore. I've
finally caught up with everybody, and I couldn't be happier.







Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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