FIC: Never Free

["xenarip13" <xenarip13@xxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Never Free
Author: Bynx 
Pairing: Buffy/Willow
Rating: NC-17 eventually
Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Buffy the Vampire 
Slayer.  That great credit belongs to Joss Whedon.  I make no profit 
at all.
Summary:  "What do we do now Buffy?"  Famous last words&




Prologue


"How long has it been, Pet?" the unwelcome intruder asks.

"You know the answer so why do you ask?" she grinds out between her 
teeth, "I told you I didn't want to see you."

"Since when do I do anything other than what I want?" Spike answers.

"Only once." She whispers as she looks over the ledge at a pile of 
bodies.

"Yeah," he says quietly, "And look what it got me."

She turns toward him.  When he sees her looking, he reaches out to 
touch her.  As always since his sacrifice at the Sunnydale hellmouth, 
his arms go through her instead of around her.

"So, be a good corpse and follow the light already," she spits at 
him, "Leave me in peace and go find yours."  She turns back to h 
ledge.

"Problem with that is Pet, that you don't have any peace,"  Spike's 
ghost has moved up by her ear, "You left that in a flea ba motel in 
California or was it on the edge of a crater at Sunnydale?"

With a growl, she turns and strikes out at him.  Her attack is in 
vain as was Spike's earlier attempt at comfort.  After several 
useless blows, she falls to her knees in front of the blonde 
vampire.  She doesn't cry.  No, she quit doing that a long time ago.  
She simply pants from her efforts.

"I'm not those demons that you threw over the ledge after taking your 
rage and pain out on them.  You can't kill me,"  Spike answers her 
anger, "You never used to torture your kills&well except for bad 
puns&"  the blonde looks up at him.

"So, how long has it been, because the only thing in you now is 
anger, rage, bitterness&" the ghost kneels and looks her in the 
eyes, "pain, aguish, and guilt.  Tell me.  Say it out loud.  How long 
has it been, slayer?"

"I&a long time."  She drops her head.

"How long?!" Spike chastises.

"One year, two months, 3 weeks, 2 day and about 4 hours!" she 
screams, "Are you done?!"

"No.  She's looking for you."  Spike answers, "She still looks for 
you every day&not physically, but magically.  She believes you are 
not dead, but she can't find you."

"She should give up.  I paid a high price to not be found and she'll 
never break the spell."

"Yes, she's finally starting to lose hope of you being alive since 
she can't see past the illusion."

"I can't do it anymore, Spike.  I wanted to be normal, but I'm not 
normal.  I didn't&I&I would have hurt them.  I would have hurt her.  
If I stayed, I would have hurt them all.  She&they can never know 
what I became&what I've become."

"You are hurting them,"  Spike bores his gaze into the slayer, "You 
are killing her!"

"What?!"

"She uses all her energy fighting demons or searching for you&she's 
slowly eating away at herself.  She's going to die."

"No!"

"How long has it been, Buffy?"

"Too long&where is she Spike?"

"Where they all are except Faith and a few trainees.  They're in Ohio 
on another hellmouth.  Do you even know where you are Pet?"

"I&"  the slayer looks around her surroundings, "usually hell, but I&
Mexico maybe."

"Close&try Columbia, but you know where your going, right?"

"Yeah, I'm going&to Willow."

TBC.

Thanks for reading.




Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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