FIC: Never Free IV

["xenarip13" <xenarip13@xxxxxxxxx>]

Title:  Never Free IV
Please see prologue for disclaimers.


Never Free IV  Rest&Not for the Wicked



Buffy finds `her' room upstairs by looking for her bag.  She would 
have known it was hers anyway though.  Someone had taken the time to 
decorate it to suit her previous tastes.  She closes and locks the 
door behind her.

`Can't let Willow have a chance to read me.' Her mind sighs, `It was 
so hard not to hold her again&I wanted my arms around her&'

"But it can't happen," Buffy blurts out as she sits on her bed, "I 
bet if I looked in the closet there are even clothes, but they won't 
fit.  Someone was very thoughtful."

"Someone Pet?" Spike shows up standing next to the dresser, "You know 
who it was&come on&you just held her not more than two hours ago&
don't you&"

"Why must you torture me?"  Buffy hisses at him.

"I'm not the one torturing you, you Git."  Spike's essnce 
pulses, "You do a fine job of that yourself."

"It hurt, Spike," Buffy whispers, "It hurt to cause her pain.  I 
guess somewhere deep inside me I knew I was hurting her&all of them, 
but to see it, do it in person&it hurt."

"It's supposed to, Love&so we don't keep doing it."

"But I can't stop hurting them&hurting her," she looks at him 
furiously, "They&she can't deal with what I am now.  I can't let her."

"Don't you think you at least owe her the truth before you leave and 
destroy her again?"

"My staying would destroy all of us, but I will tell them the truth 
before I go.  I have to annihilate this darkness I have become."

As those words leave Buffy's lips, she falls backward onto the bed.  
Her whole body spasms with exhaustion.  She tries to sit back up, but 
it has finally come time for sleep.  Regretfully, she begins to let 
go of the fight.

"&so tired&" she murmurs.

"Sleep, Pet&You're going to have a lot ahead of you if Red has 
anything to say about it&" Spike looks to the woman his love has 
bound him to.

He reaches out to touch her frowning as his hand passes through her.  
He shakes his head at the futility of it all.

"My soul is tied to you for my love and its link to the First.  Your 
soul is mixed and muddy with all its darkness and poor Red has tied 
her soul to yours.  Yet, she can't feel why you left.  I want you to 
be happy so I can move on and Red will live, but only you can do it&
with help if you let her&God, Pet.  You have to let her or she'll go 
after you&The world won't last with both of you gone."

`Damn Powers that Be&you should have stopped this&haven't they done 
enough for you!?'  Spike screams silently.

He watches as Buffy begins toss and turn.  It never takes long.  She 
is usually so exhausted by the time she sleeps that she goes straight 
into REM and nightmares.  Spike would comfort her if he could, but it 
is beyond his duties here.  Finally, not able to stand it any longer, 
he blinks out.

Buffy sits up in bed, but her eyes are still closed.  She opens her 
mouth in a silent scream and falls back to the mattress as her eyes 
move rapidly behind closed lids.

(Buffy stands outside a white ranch style home.  As she looks around 
the yard, she sees a Willow tree with a bench under it, beautiful 
flower beds surround the house, and on the mailbox  Summers-
Rosenberg-.

"This is my home&" Buffy walks to the door expecting it to be locked, 
but it opens to her, "This is too good for me&" She whispers as she 
steps across the threshold.

The house is everything she could want as she wanders deeper into its 
halls.  The decorations soothing and the furniture minimal yet 
accommodating to many visitors.  She ventures toward the kitchen 
where she is certain someone is moving around.  She comes into the 
doorway and spies Willow doing the dishes.  The red-head turns and 
smiles at her.

"Hey beautiful&done training early?" The witch wipes her hands on the 
dish towel moving toward her slayer.

"Umm&yeah." Buffy answers confused.

She gasps as the red-head envelopes her in a warm embrace.  Slowly, 
she raises her arms to circle around her love.  She sighs in 
contentment as Willow squeezes her tighter.

"I love you, Buffy." Willow looks into the slayer's face.

"I&" Buffy doesn't finish.  Instead, she captures Willow's lips in a 
loving kiss.

As their lips part, Willow's body convulses in the slayer's arms.  
Her eyes open and they are ebony.  Buffy pushes herself away as 
Willow's beautiful red hair morphs into black.

"How could you?!" The black witch screams, "So much darkness and 
power you have brought to me," Willow smiles.)

Buffy struggles up and out of bed biting down on the scream that 
wants to escape.  It won't do any good to scream.  It will only scare 
her family more than she already has.
Once Buffy pulls herself under control, she looks at the time.  Time 
has not mattered to her for a while, but now it seems so important.  
Day or night was not an issue when no one counts on you.  Now, she 
must adjust.  Everything counts again now&or at least it must appear 
to.

2:30 am.  Safe to leave the room most likely.  Buffy pads barefoot 
down the stairs after reaching out with her senses for Willow's 
room.  Of course, it is right next door to hers.  Silently, she steps 
out onto the front porch to sit on the stairs, but halts when she 
sees Dawn.

"I already know you're there."  Dawn states simply as Buffy 
contemplates closing the door and staying inside, "You don't have to 
talk to me, but would you just sit with me awhile?"

Buffy closes her eyes at the simple request.  She shuts the door and 
sits next to Dawn on the steps careful not to touch her.

"Can none of us touch you or is it just Willow?"

Buffy turns to stare at Dawn.  Dawn doesn't meet her gaze and Buffy 
doesn't answer.

"Willow cried herself to sleep mumbling about not being able to touch 
you," Dawn supplies the answer, "Can you hurt her anymore?"

Buffy drops her head in defeat, "Yes, Dawn.  Yes, I can."

"I don't see how really."

"I have an infinite capacity for the ability to bring pain to those I&
care about." Buffy looks at Dawn, "or have you forgotten that?"

"No, Buffy, I haven't forgotten that." Dawn meets her sisters blue 
gaze, "But you have apparently forgotten something."

"What's that?"

"You have an infinite capacity in the ability to bring absolute love 
to those you&care about as well." Dawn reaches out and lightly 
touches Buffy's scarred cheek. Buffy's eyes flutter at the gentle 
caress, "Good night."  Dawn leaves her sister in the porch alone.

"I used to maybe, but now there is only darkness," Buffy whispers to 
the night.

For the few hours until sunrise, Buffy walks the immediate area.  
Some things make it obvious there is a hellmouth here.  She dusts a 
couple of vamps and can sense the underlying evil calling to the 
darkness now residing in her.  As the sun peaks out over the horizon, 
the slayer walks up to her family's door.  She wishes it was home, 
but that is not to be.  She reaches for the door, but it opens to 
reveal her former watcher.

"Shall we begin, Buffy?" Giles asks as he stirs his tea.

"Begin?" she repeats confused.

"Yes, it's obvious that you're different physically, mentally, and 
perhaps spiritually.  It would behoove us to test your skills to find 
their limits." Giles looks up at her, "If you're going to be here, we 
need to get you into a routine&as your watcher it is my duty and a 
condition of you being here."

"Fine, Giles." Buffy meets his gaze, "That's fair enough.  Where do 
you want to start?"

TBC




Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

Community email addresses:
     Post message: buffywantswillow@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     Subscribe:    buffywantswillow-subscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     Unsubscribe:  buffywantswillow-unsubscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     List owner:   buffywantswillow-owner@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shortcut URL to this page:
     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/buffywantswillow

Official archive for the list:
     http://www.ikoly.com/fanfic

Other links to Buffy/Willow fics:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/buffywantswillow/links  
Yahoo! Groups Links

<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/buffywantswillow/

<*> Your email settings:
   Individual Email | Traditional

<*> To change settings online go to:
   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/buffywantswillow/join
   (Yahoo! ID required)

<*> To change settings via email:
   mailto:buffywantswillow-digest@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 
   mailto:buffywantswillow-fullfeatured@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
   buffywantswillow-unsubscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
   http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/