Fic: Far Away

["Jophes" <xenarip13@xxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Far Away
Author: Bynx	
Pairing: B/W
Rating: R ?
Summary:  This was issued either as a challenge or request.  I can't 
remember which, but here is my take on it.
Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  Buffy and cast belong to Joss Whedon and 
the song Far Away belongs to Nickelback.  I make no profit so please 
don't sue.


Far Away

The pool of blood around the rapidly cooling body spreads steadily on 
the icy concrete in the dark alley.  Only two sounds can be heard in 
the alley.  The first is the blaring beat coming from one of the many 
looming buildings.  The other harsh noise is the rapid, shallow 
breathing coming from the blonde lying on the cold concrete.  Any 
normal person would be dead by now, but she is far from normal.  She 
is a slayer and slayers are hard to kill.  However, it's not 
impossible as Buffy has always known.

Buffy slowly opens her eyes to darkness.  Quickly, she realizes that 
the cold she feels is not just the Ohio winter.  She feels the hard 
grit of the alley against her cheek telling her she is lying face 
down.

`I have to get up,'  sluggishly she brings her arms up preparing to 
brace herself, `I'm lying in a puddle?'

With the last of her strength, Buffy pushes her upper body off the 
ground.  Once up, she sees the puddle she is in is made of most of 
her bodies blood supply.  Her arms begin to fail her, but before she 
falls she manages to rock her body so she lands on her back.  When 
she hits the alley floor, she can't hold in the scream of agony 
tearing through her body.

`Okay?don't panic.'  Buffy breaths hard, `Calm down, slow your heart 
rate or you'll lose more blood faster,' Buffy begins taking stock of 
her injuries.

`Lots of blood?dark blood and I'm still alive?okay that's not an 
artery then.  I can feel all my limbs even if I can't get up.  No 
spinal injury then.  Breathing is difficult and my stomach is killing 
me.  Chest or gut wound or both is my next guess?better try to look.'

Buffy takes as deep a breath as she can and lifts her head, "Shit?" 
She curses at the sight in front of her.

`I'm lucky my guts aren't hanging out or maybe they are and I just 
can't tell.' Her head drops back to the concrete.

`Where's my cell phone?' she begins to reach for her pocket, but once 
inside all she finds are pieces of what used to be her phone.

"Great?now what?" she hisses.

The blonde slayer closes her eyes against the hard truth staring her 
in the face.  Hot tears begin to slide from her eyes burning her 
frozen cheeks.

`So stupid?so fucking stupid.  I know better than to chase down a 
dark alley.  What was I thinking?  You were thinking about getting 
home to get a plane ticket.  That's what you were thinking.' She 
answers herself.

"Yeah?" she whispers.

`It doesn't matter now.  Now, I'm going to die here in this fucking 
alley in my own blood for a stupid rookie mistake?she'll never know 
now.  I'll die alone as I always said?this sucks so much worse than I 
ever thought.'  Buffy's mind wanders.

As the wounded slayer lies eyes closed accepting her fate, she can 
hear the music from the club for the first time.

This time, this place
Misused, mistake
Too long, too late
Who was I to make you wait?
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
`Cause you know, 
You know, you know

`Too late?it's been too long and I waited too late?'  Buffy's weary 
mind travels to a letter addressed to her from London that she never 
answered months ago.

<Buffy, 

	I sit here not knowing if my leaving to come here was right 
or wrong.  I'm sure Giles could have done this without me, but I 
wasn't sure I could stay in Ohio either.  You didn't ask me to stay 
when I said I was going.  That hurt, but it was expected.  I'm 
writing to you now to tell you the truth about why I left.  I've kept 
it in for too long.

	The truth is this.  I heard you and Kennedy arguing at the 
motel the night she left.  She was mad at me for not telling her the 
truth until she made me.  Once I spoke it, there was nothing for us.  
You knew that and I let you pretend she never came to you.  It hasn't 
done either of us any good.  So, I repeat I heard you arguing.  I 
know everything that you said to her.  I know exactly what she told 
you and what your answer to her was.
	I'm sure you wondered why I never came to you like she 
explained that I would, but I couldn't after I knew.  Maybe you 
didn't wonder.  Perhaps, you thought I changed my mind, but that 
wasn't it.  I was a coward.  I didn't know how to face you after I 
heard your words to Kennedy.  So, when Giles told us he was leaving 
to return to London and set up the council again, I used it as an 
opportunity to run away.  I'm sorry.  I should have faced it and 
you.  I know this will change nothing after what I heard, but I must 
say it anyway for more than one reason.  One reason being I broke a 
young girl's heart who loved me, because I couldn't love her back.  I 
couldn't split my own heart between two loves again.  The other 
reason is so that you know someone out here has always loved you and 
always will.

	I love you Buffy.  I love you in all ways forever.  You are 
my heart, my reason for carrying on.  Even though we are far apart 
and you can never return my feelings?I will love you always.

								Love 
Your `Big Gun'
							
	Willow >

Unconsciously, Buffy moves to reach for the letter she has carried 
with her since she received it.

That I love you 
I have missed you all along
And I miss you
Been far away far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore

Buffy barely hears the chorus as she remembers the argument she and 
Kennedy had over her best friend Willow.

<<The blonde had been standing watching the sun dip below the 
horizon.  She had come seeking peace.  She had come to be alone to 
wallow in her pain and loneliness and now she could hear someone 
intruding upon it.

"Buffy,"

"What do you want, Kennedy?" `You already have everything I can give 
you?power and HER.' Buffy supplies her own answer silently.

"I want?no, I need to say some things to you before?"  Kennedy pauses 
looking at the small blonde still wondering how she could contain all 
the power that is coursing inside her.

"Before what?"  Buffy prompts impatiently.
"B-before Willow does."

"Is something going on with the bad?"  Buffy turns to face the 
brunette.

"No.  It's personal."  Kennedy can see the weariness Buffy tries to 
hide.

"Go on," Buffy waits Kennedy to tell her she's leaving and taking 
Willow with her.

"W-willow is coming to tell you something important.  I want to ask 
you to listen to her?"

"I always do."  Buffy interrupts.

"I don't think you will this time.  She doesn't know that you're an 
empty coward."

"What?!"  Buffy moves instantly grabbing Kennedy by her arms holding 
her in place, "A coward?  Did we not just vanquish the first?  Was I 
not just standing there fighting beside you?  Didn't I almost die 
again?!"

"It isn't evil or battle or even death that you fear," Kennedy 
cringes as the blonde slayer's grip tightens, "its love that scares 
you?her love."

The blonde slayer immediately drops her captive.  She begins pacing 
like a caged panther ready to strike.  Kennedy watches her fighting 
the urge to run.

"She loves you and you know it.  You've known for sometime that she 
loves you?not me," the brunettes voice trembles.

Buffy stops pacing, but doesn't answer the unasked question.  She 
merely waits for the younger slayer to continue.

"I know you love her.  I see it in everything you do.  Every time you 
look at her when you think she isn't looking, every time you almost 
touch her, but can't quite bring yourself to give into the temptation?
I know."  Kennedy looks up at her mentor as the woman looks at 
her, "What I don't think you know is she doesn't know you love her.  
As smart as she is?she doesn't see it.  What I don't know or 
understand is why you won't let yourself love her?she's perfect?
beautiful?"

"You answered your own question," Buffy whispers.

"I?I don't understand,"

Again, Buffy comes to stand directly in front of the younger slayer.  
She looks her up and down intensely.

"Do you love her Kennedy?"
"Yes."  The younger woman answers without hesitation.

"Then, fight to keep her?make her stay with you.  Would you quit all 
this craziness and take her away?"

"Yes," Kennedy again answers instantly her eyes never leaving the 
older slayer's.

"Then do it.  She deserves more than this life.  She always has.  
Give it to her, because?I can't."  

"Why?  She wants you not me?she doesn't care it's with this mission 
or not.  Don't you understand she simply wants you?she loves you?You 
don't deserve her."

Buffy laughs cruelly, "Now you're getting it, brat.  I don't deserve 
her.  Look at me Kennedy?look deep.  You were right in the 
beginning.  I'm empty.  I have nothing left to give her and there 
wasn't much to begin with.  I can't give her what I don't have 
anymore.  I am only my destiny now.  I am only the slayer.  I've 
given my life more than once.  I've given my family to it already.  
My love is death.  It brings pain and suffering and I can't do that 
to her.  I've done enough to her already.  I have nothing left to 
give her?nothing of use.  So, you finally see?I am a desolate 
wasteland, barren of all that is nurturing and I would never let that 
beautiful soul wither and die trying to grow love in my infertile 
heart.  I can't ever deserve her!"

Kennedy steps back from the slayer shocked as the pain from the 
smaller woman washes over her.  She blinks and feels tears flow down 
her cheeks at the tragedy in front of her.

"I wish?" she stops the cruel words before they can escape her 
lips, "She doesn't want anything, but you.  Neither of you will ever 
be happy."  The brunette turns to walk away.  "I'm sorry?more sorry 
than you'll ever know."

"So am I," she hears Buffy whisper to the wind. >>

"Stupid coward?" Buffy stammers out as she grows colder, "One more 
breath?"

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
Cause with you, I'll understand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all 
I'd give for us
Give anything, but I won't give up
Cause you know
You know, you know

`I wanted you to know?I was coming Willow.  I was?I'm sorry." More 
tears trickle down her cheeks, "I'd give it all to have you here?so I 
could tell you?beg you on my knees?' the slayer screams with all her 
anguish to the night sky as her life ebbs away.

"WILLOW!!!"

"BUFFY!" the red-headed witch cries out sitting up in bed.

Willow looks around her, but instead of her rooms in the council's 
offices in London, she sees a dark alley.  Suddenly, a flash of Buffy 
beaten and bloody appears.

"Willow!" the vision disappears with Giles voice, "Are you alright?" 
He peers inside the room.

"No, Giles.  Buffy's dying.  I have to be there!"  Willow's eyes grow 
red as she pulls in energy.

"Willow, you've never?"  Giles stops.

"She will not perish!" Willow screams as her eyes turn black and the 
air crackles with her power.

Giles closes his eyes against the flash of power.  When he can see 
again, Willow is gone.

"Oh dear."

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

"Willow?" Buffy croaks out again in desperation.

As soon as the word leaves her mouth, she feels the air shift around 
her and a flash of light against her closed eyes.  Willow instantly 
sees her love bleeding out and runs to her.  Buffy can't open her 
eyes to see who has finally come to her.

"T-too l-late?" the slayer shivers.

"Never?" Willow stresses a she pulls power to her.  The witch's 
subconscious mind hears the music playing.

`That voice?'  Buffy's mind struggles to think?to understand.


I wanted
I wanted you to stay
Cause I needed 
I needed to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
Cause I'm not leaving
Hold onto me, never let me go

A bright red glow envelopes the witch and the slayer as Willow holds 
her hands over the worst of Buffy's wounds.

`I can't do this again?breathe damn you, Buffy!' the witch screams 
mentally.

"Please?.Live!"  Willow rages as the magic floods through her to the 
blonde slayer.

As the power dissipates, Willow collapses over the fallen slayer.  
She sobs into the blonde's bloody chest.

"Please?you called?I came...please?" Willow pleads with her love.

The witch jumps when she feels a hand lightly touch her hair.  She 
realizes it is the slayer's hand.

"Buffy?" she whispers shocked.

"Mmmmhmmm?"  Buffy mumbles trying to wake up.

"Oh, thank you, Goddess." Willow pulls Buffy to her as Buffy finally 
opens her eyes.

"Willow?" she asks confused, "I was?dying?I thought?dreaming...how?"

"You called.  I answered just like always."  Willow cries.

"I?" stammers the blonde.

"Ssshhh?rest?" Willow rocks the smaller woman.

"No!" Buffy pushes raising her bloody hand with a letter grasped in 
it, "Too long?almost too late?you were so far away, but I?I was 
farther?I'm sorry?please forgive me." Buffy breathes out heavily.

"Always." Willow sees that it is her letter covered in the slayer's 
blood.
"She was right?"

"Who Buffy?"

"K-kennedy?I am a coward?"

"No?"

Buffy looks directly into green eyes, "I am, b-but no more?don't g-go?
I need?" Buffy closes her eyes.

"What do you need?"  Willow prompts.

"You?I made you wait so long?please don't go?" Buffy tries to hold 
Willow to her.

"Breathe Buffy?" Willow whispers into Buffy's ear, "Heal?'cause I'm 
not leaving."

With these words, the slayer sobs in the witch's arms until she 
sleeps.  Willow easily scoops the small blonde up and takes her home.


Epilogue

A blonde head surfaces above the blanket in a panic waking the red-
head lying next to her.

"Willow!"  the scream rips from her chest.

"Ssssshhhh?Buffy, I'm here?right here." The witch reaches out to the 
slayer in an attempt to calm her morning terrors.

Buffy stares at Willow not understanding how the witch is there and 
why she isn't dead.  Wait?

"Am I dead again?" Buffy stutters, "Am I in hell?"

"What?" Willow questions worried, "No, Buffy.  You're not dead?this 
isn't hell?Why wou?"

Willow can't finish as Buffy engulfs her in her arms.  Buffy simply 
holds on tightly to her witch.  Willow still in shock slowly wraps 
her arms around the smaller blonde.  They sit this way for a few 
moments until Willow feels hot tears dampening her night clothes.

"Buffy, it's alright?its okay now.  I'm really here." Willow tries to 
soothe the other woman.

"I know?I know." Buffy repeats, "I remember.  I was dying and I 
called out to you.  I thought I was never going to get to tell you?" 
Buffy pulls away from the embrace, "But you came as always.  No 
matter what you never give up on me."

"I can't." Willow blushes.

Buffy stares at her blushing friend in awe of her loyalty and 
love, "I don't deserve you Willow.  I never have," Buffy raises her 
hand when the witch attempts to interrupt, "But I don't care anymore 
if I deserve you or not.  I can't go on like this.  I was such a 
fool.  Willow you love me so much that you pulled and twisted forces 
to you four times now to save my life and all I have ever done is 
pushed you away.  I was so afraid I would hurt you that I did and I 
almost destroyed us.  I love you, Willow.  I have loved you even when 
nothing else mattered?even when I could feel almost nothing a piece 
of me still loved you.  Please forgive me, because if you can forgive 
me, I will show you how much I can love you for the rest of our lives?
please say I haven't been too far away too long?please?" Buffy pleads.

Tears escape down Willow's cheeks at Buffy's declaration.  She 
reaches out and wipes the matching one from blue eyes as she leans in 
lightly placing a kiss to the slayer's lips.

"I love you, Buffy?It's not too late?"  Willow opens her arms and the 
small blonde smiles shyly before falling into the arms of the one 
person who has always made her life complete.

FIN




Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                      --'Choices'

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