Re: Fic: Far Away

["bslayedw" <bslayed@xxxxxxx>]

This story was great and intense. I like your choice in songs. 



--- In buffywantswillow@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, "Jophes" <xenarip13@...> 
wrote:
>
> Title: Far Away
> Author: Bynx	
> Pairing: B/W
> Rating: R ?
> Summary:  This was issued either as a challenge or request.  I 
can't 
> remember which, but here is my take on it.
> Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  Buffy and cast belong to Joss Whedon 
and 
> the song Far Away belongs to Nickelback.  I make no profit so 
please 
> don't sue.
> 
> 
> Far Away
> 
> The pool of blood around the rapidly cooling body spreads steadily 
on 
> the icy concrete in the dark alley.  Only two sounds can be heard 
in 
> the alley.  The first is the blaring beat coming from one of the 
many 
> looming buildings.  The other harsh noise is the rapid, shallow 
> breathing coming from the blonde lying on the cold concrete.  Any 
> normal person would be dead by now, but she is far from normal.  
She 
> is a slayer and slayers are hard to kill.  However, it's not 
> impossible as Buffy has always known.
> 
> Buffy slowly opens her eyes to darkness.  Quickly, she realizes 
that 
> the cold she feels is not just the Ohio winter.  She feels the 
hard 
> grit of the alley against her cheek telling her she is lying face 
> down.
> 
> `I have to get up,'  sluggishly she brings her arms up preparing 
to 
> brace herself, `I'm lying in a puddle?'
> 
> With the last of her strength, Buffy pushes her upper body off the 
> ground.  Once up, she sees the puddle she is in is made of most of 
> her bodies blood supply.  Her arms begin to fail her, but before 
she 
> falls she manages to rock her body so she lands on her back.  When 
> she hits the alley floor, she can't hold in the scream of agony 
> tearing through her body.
> 
> `Okay?don't panic.'  Buffy breaths hard, `Calm down, slow your 
heart 
> rate or you'll lose more blood faster,' Buffy begins taking stock 
of 
> her injuries.
> 
> `Lots of blood?dark blood and I'm still alive?okay that's not an 
> artery then.  I can feel all my limbs even if I can't get up.  No 
> spinal injury then.  Breathing is difficult and my stomach is 
killing 
> me.  Chest or gut wound or both is my next guess?better try to 
look.'
> 
> Buffy takes as deep a breath as she can and lifts her 
head, "Shit?" 
> She curses at the sight in front of her.
> 
> `I'm lucky my guts aren't hanging out or maybe they are and I just 
> can't tell.' Her head drops back to the concrete.
> 
> `Where's my cell phone?' she begins to reach for her pocket, but 
once 
> inside all she finds are pieces of what used to be her phone.
> 
> "Great?now what?" she hisses.
> 
> The blonde slayer closes her eyes against the hard truth staring 
her 
> in the face.  Hot tears begin to slide from her eyes burning her 
> frozen cheeks.
> 
> `So stupid?so fucking stupid.  I know better than to chase down a 
> dark alley.  What was I thinking?  You were thinking about getting 
> home to get a plane ticket.  That's what you were thinking.' She 
> answers herself.
> 
> "Yeah?" she whispers.
> 
> `It doesn't matter now.  Now, I'm going to die here in this 
fucking 
> alley in my own blood for a stupid rookie mistake?she'll never 
know 
> now.  I'll die alone as I always said?this sucks so much worse 
than I 
> ever thought.'  Buffy's mind wanders.
> 
> As the wounded slayer lies eyes closed accepting her fate, she can 
> hear the music from the club for the first time.
> 
> This time, this place
> Misused, mistake
> Too long, too late
> Who was I to make you wait?
> Just one chance
> Just one breath
> Just in case there's just one left
> `Cause you know, 
> You know, you know
> 
> `Too late?it's been too long and I waited too late?'  Buffy's 
weary 
> mind travels to a letter addressed to her from London that she 
never 
> answered months ago.
> 
> <Buffy, 
> 
> 	I sit here not knowing if my leaving to come here was right 
> or wrong.  I'm sure Giles could have done this without me, but I 
> wasn't sure I could stay in Ohio either.  You didn't ask me to 
stay 
> when I said I was going.  That hurt, but it was expected.  I'm 
> writing to you now to tell you the truth about why I left.  I've 
kept 
> it in for too long.
> 
> 	The truth is this.  I heard you and Kennedy arguing at the 
> motel the night she left.  She was mad at me for not telling her 
the 
> truth until she made me.  Once I spoke it, there was nothing for 
us.  
> You knew that and I let you pretend she never came to you.  It 
hasn't 
> done either of us any good.  So, I repeat I heard you arguing.  I 
> know everything that you said to her.  I know exactly what she 
told 
> you and what your answer to her was.
> 	I'm sure you wondered why I never came to you like she 
> explained that I would, but I couldn't after I knew.  Maybe you 
> didn't wonder.  Perhaps, you thought I changed my mind, but that 
> wasn't it.  I was a coward.  I didn't know how to face you after I 
> heard your words to Kennedy.  So, when Giles told us he was 
leaving 
> to return to London and set up the council again, I used it as an 
> opportunity to run away.  I'm sorry.  I should have faced it and 
> you.  I know this will change nothing after what I heard, but I 
must 
> say it anyway for more than one reason.  One reason being I broke 
a 
> young girl's heart who loved me, because I couldn't love her 
back.  I 
> couldn't split my own heart between two loves again.  The other 
> reason is so that you know someone out here has always loved you 
and 
> always will.
> 
> 	I love you Buffy.  I love you in all ways forever.  You are 
> my heart, my reason for carrying on.  Even though we are far apart 
> and you can never return my feelings?I will love you always.
> 
> 								Love 
> Your `Big Gun'
> 							
> 	Willow >
> 
> Unconsciously, Buffy moves to reach for the letter she has carried 
> with her since she received it.
> 
> That I love you 
> I have missed you all along
> And I miss you
> Been far away far too long
> I keep dreaming you'll be with me
> And you'll never go
> Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore
> 
> Buffy barely hears the chorus as she remembers the argument she 
and 
> Kennedy had over her best friend Willow.
> 
> <<The blonde had been standing watching the sun dip below the 
> horizon.  She had come seeking peace.  She had come to be alone to 
> wallow in her pain and loneliness and now she could hear someone 
> intruding upon it.
> 
> "Buffy,"
> 
> "What do you want, Kennedy?" `You already have everything I can 
give 
> you?power and HER.' Buffy supplies her own answer silently.
> 
> "I want?no, I need to say some things to you before?"  Kennedy 
pauses 
> looking at the small blonde still wondering how she could contain 
all 
> the power that is coursing inside her.
> 
> "Before what?"  Buffy prompts impatiently.
> "B-before Willow does."
> 
> "Is something going on with the bad?"  Buffy turns to face the 
> brunette.
> 
> "No.  It's personal."  Kennedy can see the weariness Buffy tries 
to 
> hide.
> 
> "Go on," Buffy waits Kennedy to tell her she's leaving and taking 
> Willow with her.
> 
> "W-willow is coming to tell you something important.  I want to 
ask 
> you to listen to her?"
> 
> "I always do."  Buffy interrupts.
> 
> "I don't think you will this time.  She doesn't know that you're 
an 
> empty coward."
> 
> "What?!"  Buffy moves instantly grabbing Kennedy by her arms 
holding 
> her in place, "A coward?  Did we not just vanquish the first?  Was 
I 
> not just standing there fighting beside you?  Didn't I almost die 
> again?!"
> 
> "It isn't evil or battle or even death that you fear," Kennedy 
> cringes as the blonde slayer's grip tightens, "its love that 
scares 
> you?her love."
> 
> The blonde slayer immediately drops her captive.  She begins 
pacing 
> like a caged panther ready to strike.  Kennedy watches her 
fighting 
> the urge to run.
> 
> "She loves you and you know it.  You've known for sometime that 
she 
> loves you?not me," the brunettes voice trembles.
> 
> Buffy stops pacing, but doesn't answer the unasked question.  She 
> merely waits for the younger slayer to continue.
> 
> "I know you love her.  I see it in everything you do.  Every time 
you 
> look at her when you think she isn't looking, every time you 
almost 
> touch her, but can't quite bring yourself to give into the 
temptation?
> I know."  Kennedy looks up at her mentor as the woman looks at 
> her, "What I don't think you know is she doesn't know you love 
her.  
> As smart as she is?she doesn't see it.  What I don't know or 
> understand is why you won't let yourself love her?she's perfect?
> beautiful?"
> 
> "You answered your own question," Buffy whispers.
> 
> "I?I don't understand,"
> 
> Again, Buffy comes to stand directly in front of the younger 
slayer.  
> She looks her up and down intensely.
> 
> "Do you love her Kennedy?"
> "Yes."  The younger woman answers without hesitation.
> 
> "Then, fight to keep her?make her stay with you.  Would you quit 
all 
> this craziness and take her away?"
> 
> "Yes," Kennedy again answers instantly her eyes never leaving the 
> older slayer's.
> 
> "Then do it.  She deserves more than this life.  She always has.  
> Give it to her, because?I can't."  
> 
> "Why?  She wants you not me?she doesn't care it's with this 
mission 
> or not.  Don't you understand she simply wants you?she loves you?
You 
> don't deserve her."
> 
> Buffy laughs cruelly, "Now you're getting it, brat.  I don't 
deserve 
> her.  Look at me Kennedy?look deep.  You were right in the 
> beginning.  I'm empty.  I have nothing left to give her and there 
> wasn't much to begin with.  I can't give her what I don't have 
> anymore.  I am only my destiny now.  I am only the slayer.  I've 
> given my life more than once.  I've given my family to it 
already.  
> My love is death.  It brings pain and suffering and I can't do 
that 
> to her.  I've done enough to her already.  I have nothing left to 
> give her?nothing of use.  So, you finally see?I am a desolate 
> wasteland, barren of all that is nurturing and I would never let 
that 
> beautiful soul wither and die trying to grow love in my infertile 
> heart.  I can't ever deserve her!"
> 
> Kennedy steps back from the slayer shocked as the pain from the 
> smaller woman washes over her.  She blinks and feels tears flow 
down 
> her cheeks at the tragedy in front of her.
> 
> "I wish?" she stops the cruel words before they can escape her 
> lips, "She doesn't want anything, but you.  Neither of you will 
ever 
> be happy."  The brunette turns to walk away.  "I'm sorry?more 
sorry 
> than you'll ever know."
> 
> "So am I," she hears Buffy whisper to the wind. >>
> 
> "Stupid coward?" Buffy stammers out as she grows colder, "One more 
> breath?"
> 
> On my knees, I'll ask
> Last chance for one last dance
> Cause with you, I'll understand
> All of hell to hold your hand
> I'd give it all 
> I'd give for us
> Give anything, but I won't give up
> Cause you know
> You know, you know
> 
> `I wanted you to know?I was coming Willow.  I was?I'm sorry." More 
> tears trickle down her cheeks, "I'd give it all to have you here?
so I 
> could tell you?beg you on my knees?' the slayer screams with all 
her 
> anguish to the night sky as her life ebbs away.
> 
> "WILLOW!!!"
> 
> "BUFFY!" the red-headed witch cries out sitting up in bed.
> 
> Willow looks around her, but instead of her rooms in the council's 
> offices in London, she sees a dark alley.  Suddenly, a flash of 
Buffy 
> beaten and bloody appears.
> 
> "Willow!" the vision disappears with Giles voice, "Are you 
alright?" 
> He peers inside the room.
> 
> "No, Giles.  Buffy's dying.  I have to be there!"  Willow's eyes 
grow 
> red as she pulls in energy.
> 
> "Willow, you've never?"  Giles stops.
> 
> "She will not perish!" Willow screams as her eyes turn black and 
the 
> air crackles with her power.
> 
> Giles closes his eyes against the flash of power.  When he can see 
> again, Willow is gone.
> 
> "Oh dear."
> 
> So far away
> Been far away for far too long
> So far away
> Been far away for far too long
> But you know, you know, you know
> 
> "Willow?" Buffy croaks out again in desperation.
> 
> As soon as the word leaves her mouth, she feels the air shift 
around 
> her and a flash of light against her closed eyes.  Willow 
instantly 
> sees her love bleeding out and runs to her.  Buffy can't open her 
> eyes to see who has finally come to her.
> 
> "T-too l-late?" the slayer shivers.
> 
> "Never?" Willow stresses a she pulls power to her.  The witch's 
> subconscious mind hears the music playing.
> 
> `That voice?'  Buffy's mind struggles to think?to understand.
> 
> 
> I wanted
> I wanted you to stay
> Cause I needed 
> I needed to hear you say
> That I love you
> I have loved you all along
> And I forgive you
> For being away for far too long
> So keep breathing
> Cause I'm not leaving
> Hold onto me, never let me go
> 
> A bright red glow envelopes the witch and the slayer as Willow 
holds 
> her hands over the worst of Buffy's wounds.
> 
> `I can't do this again?breathe damn you, Buffy!' the witch screams 
> mentally.
> 
> "Please?.Live!"  Willow rages as the magic floods through her to 
the 
> blonde slayer.
> 
> As the power dissipates, Willow collapses over the fallen slayer.  
> She sobs into the blonde's bloody chest.
> 
> "Please?you called?I came...please?" Willow pleads with her love.
> 
> The witch jumps when she feels a hand lightly touch her hair.  She 
> realizes it is the slayer's hand.
> 
> "Buffy?" she whispers shocked.
> 
> "Mmmmhmmm?"  Buffy mumbles trying to wake up.
> 
> "Oh, thank you, Goddess." Willow pulls Buffy to her as Buffy 
finally 
> opens her eyes.
> 
> "Willow?" she asks confused, "I was?dying?I thought?
dreaming...how?"
> 
> "You called.  I answered just like always."  Willow cries.
> 
> "I?" stammers the blonde.
> 
> "Ssshhh?rest?" Willow rocks the smaller woman.
> 
> "No!" Buffy pushes raising her bloody hand with a letter grasped 
in 
> it, "Too long?almost too late?you were so far away, but I?I was 
> farther?I'm sorry?please forgive me." Buffy breathes out heavily.
> 
> "Always." Willow sees that it is her letter covered in the 
slayer's 
> blood.
> "She was right?"
> 
> "Who Buffy?"
> 
> "K-kennedy?I am a coward?"
> 
> "No?"
> 
> Buffy looks directly into green eyes, "I am, b-but no more?don't g-
go?
> I need?" Buffy closes her eyes.
> 
> "What do you need?"  Willow prompts.
> 
> "You?I made you wait so long?please don't go?" Buffy tries to hold 
> Willow to her.
> 
> "Breathe Buffy?" Willow whispers into Buffy's ear, "Heal?'cause 
I'm 
> not leaving."
> 
> With these words, the slayer sobs in the witch's arms until she 
> sleeps.  Willow easily scoops the small blonde up and takes her 
home.
> 
> 
> Epilogue
> 
> A blonde head surfaces above the blanket in a panic waking the red-
> head lying next to her.
> 
> "Willow!"  the scream rips from her chest.
> 
> "Ssssshhhh?Buffy, I'm here?right here." The witch reaches out to 
the 
> slayer in an attempt to calm her morning terrors.
> 
> Buffy stares at Willow not understanding how the witch is there 
and 
> why she isn't dead.  Wait?
> 
> "Am I dead again?" Buffy stutters, "Am I in hell?"
> 
> "What?" Willow questions worried, "No, Buffy.  You're not dead?
this 
> isn't hell?Why wou?"
> 
> Willow can't finish as Buffy engulfs her in her arms.  Buffy 
simply 
> holds on tightly to her witch.  Willow still in shock slowly wraps 
> her arms around the smaller blonde.  They sit this way for a few 
> moments until Willow feels hot tears dampening her night clothes.
> 
> "Buffy, it's alright?its okay now.  I'm really here." Willow tries 
to 
> soothe the other woman.
> 
> "I know?I know." Buffy repeats, "I remember.  I was dying and I 
> called out to you.  I thought I was never going to get to tell 
you?" 
> Buffy pulls away from the embrace, "But you came as always.  No 
> matter what you never give up on me."
> 
> "I can't." Willow blushes.
> 
> Buffy stares at her blushing friend in awe of her loyalty and 
> love, "I don't deserve you Willow.  I never have," Buffy raises 
her 
> hand when the witch attempts to interrupt, "But I don't care 
anymore 
> if I deserve you or not.  I can't go on like this.  I was such a 
> fool.  Willow you love me so much that you pulled and twisted 
forces 
> to you four times now to save my life and all I have ever done is 
> pushed you away.  I was so afraid I would hurt you that I did and 
I 
> almost destroyed us.  I love you, Willow.  I have loved you even 
when 
> nothing else mattered?even when I could feel almost nothing a 
piece 
> of me still loved you.  Please forgive me, because if you can 
forgive 
> me, I will show you how much I can love you for the rest of our 
lives?
> please say I haven't been too far away too long?please?" Buffy 
pleads.
> 
> Tears escape down Willow's cheeks at Buffy's declaration.  She 
> reaches out and wipes the matching one from blue eyes as she leans 
in 
> lightly placing a kiss to the slayer's lips.
> 
> "I love you, Buffy?It's not too late?"  Willow opens her arms and 
the 
> small blonde smiles shyly before falling into the arms of the one 
> person who has always made her life complete.
> 
> FIN
>




Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                      --'Choices'

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