Part Six
Word after word, entry after entry, the shock sunk in. The chaos demon, the fight with demon Arthur, the sunset all of it danced on the fringes of our minds as if it was a dream and with each word it became a harsh reality. A reality that had been stolen from us, ripped from our memories as if it never mattered made to look like it had never happened. Each kiss, each embrace, each first time was wiped out and we felt like wed been raped. He took it all from us for the greater good, but we couldnt understand or even begin to imagine his motives. Even now, with my lovers head in my lap and the rhythmic breath of sleep the only sound, its still but a dream.
Years upon years stolen from us and all I can think of is, not the council, but him. He did it and from the tone of his last entry he knows that forgiveness may not be an option.
------------
Will?
Shh, Im here. You fell asleep.
What are you doing? Buffy rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and sat up.
Im writing in my Watchers diary. I got it for graduation and I thought now would be the best time to start.
Buffy looked at her surprised. But. . .you graduated from Oxford, not the Council. You mean your still gonna work for them after what theyve done to us?
Willow put her hand on Buffys shoulder. No. Im working with Giles here, not the Council in London. She smiled and kissed Buffys lips. I told you I didnt want to be away from you again and I meant it.
Buffy let go a sigh of relief. Ohh, good. How long have I been out?
We fell asleep here last night. I woke up about an hour ago and re-read the diary.
You know what we have to do, Will. Buffy gave her the time to get serious look.
Willow nodded. I know. Giles has had this diary for a long time. We have to go talk to him and find out why he never told us.
Buffy nodded then looked around the room. Guess I did a little damage here last night.
Yeah. Im just glad your mom was at the gallery waiting for a late shipment.
Slayer temper. What can I say?
The table by the door was smashed into an unrecognizable heap. Glass shards littered the kitchen floor. The bookcase with all of Willows own collection from her years at Oxford was tipped over and the books were scattered across the living room. Both girls were sitting on the hide-a-bed assessing the damage.
Will, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you last night. She placed her hand on her shoulder.
You were angry, Buffy. I understand. I know you would never hurt me. I feel bad for the bookcase though. She let a little smile escape.
Buffy pulled her into a hug. Never. Id never treat you like that bookcase. You did some damage yourself last night you know.
Willow laughed. Yeah. But theres a big difference between floating pencils flying out the window into the tree and smashing a table into dust.
We should get up and get ready. By the time we eat breakfast, Giles should be up.
Yeah.
--------------
Giles!
The Watcher stirred in his bed, absentmindedly reaching out for his glasses. <8am. Who was here at this hour?>
Giles man! Get your ass down here now! We have a problem! Spikes disembodied voice called from the first floor.
He shot up and ran down the steps quickly. Spike? Do you know what ti He stopped dead in his tracks. Oh, dear.
Spike was still giving off smoke from where the sun had hit him on his way in. Slumped over his shoulder was a very badly beaten Xander. He was almost unrecognizable except for the bright blond hair.
Is he
No, I found him in time. Bloody hell man, give me a hand here. He may look thin but the boys got some weight to him.
They carried his limp body over to the couch. He was bleeding from his nose, which by the sight alone Giles could tell was broken. Upon closer inspection there were a few cracked ribs and his wrist was broken too. He had two black eyes and a serious head wound. Giles turned him over and pulled up his shirt and literally gasped.
What is it mate?
Its . . .some sort of pattern or design carved into his back. Some of these scars are old but there are fresher ones over here. Giles touched the center of his back and Xander suddenly went stiff. Ive seen this before. He laid him back down and walked over to the bookcase.
Buffy walked through the door with Willow right behind her. She headed straight for Giles and held out the diary. Care to explain this.
He looked up at her, shocked. Buffy, where. . .where did you get this?
Will and I were researching the mind reading thing and she came across it.
Willow tugged on Buffys arm. Buffy.
She followed the redheads gaze to the couch. What the? Xander?
Willow slowly walked up to him and took in his battered appearance. Giles. . .
Giles walked up behind them and spoke softly. Spike just now brought him in. I havent found out what happened yet.
I found him at the mansion. He was left for worm food is my guess. Spike offered from the kitchen.
Willow automatically went into repair mode. She got the first aid kit that was ever present on top of the bookcase and went to work. Buffy still stood there unable to move.
Spike, what happened to him? She asked without taking her eyes off of Xander and Willow.
Its quite the story luv. And I think with what Ive found out and what Giles here knows already, your boy Xander got himself sucked into the middle of a prophesy.
Buffy looked at Giles. All he could do was remove his glasses and nod slowly.
----------------
Part Seven
I never told you Buffy simply because it wasnt my place. I try not to get involved in your, er, personal life and I thought that youd both tell me when you were ready. I received this diary about a year ago and called Spike immediately in hopes that he could track Xander down so we could get some answers from him. I thought about calling Angel but I thought that with the. . .sensitive nature of some of the diary entries that it was best he didnt get involved.
Buffy sat on the couch and listened to her Watchers explanation. When he said it they way he did, she couldnt help but feel that hed done the right thing. Your right Giles. I didnt think you could make me see it any other way than the way I did, but you did. Im glad Will convinced me to wait until morning to talk to you.
From the description she gave of your apartment Id have to say I need to thank her for that. He smiled. Speaking of which, where is she?
Buffy furrowed her brow. You know, I dont know. She walked outside for fresh air a while ago.
Why dont you go see whats keeping her and Spike and I will see what we can come up with concerning the prophesy.
------------
Willow was sitting with her feet stretched out on the fountain. She pulled a tissue from her pocket and wiped a tear from her eye. Shed just finished reading the diary for. . .well, she couldnt remember how many times shed read it by now.
As shocking and hurtful it had been to find out about Xanders interference, it almost paled in comparison to how she felt reading about Xander and Buffys relationship. She had pushed it out of the way the first time she read about it, there were more important matters to deal with, but now sitting alone she allowed the reality of it all to sink in.
Xander the boy shed loved for as long as she could remember and Buffy had some sort of secret relationship that neither one of them ever told her about. Did they think it wouldnt matter to her? Did they do it because they were afraid shed be hurt?
Will?
She looked up. Buffy, you startled me. I didnt see you standing there.
Buffy crossed the courtyard and sat down on the edge of the fountain. I guess you didnt. Buffy looked at her closely. Youve been crying. She took the diary out of Willows lap. and youve been reading this over and over since we took it home last night. She put her hand on Willows. Well get through it. As soon as Xander wakes up he has a lot of explaining to do.
Willow closed her eyes and leaned back further into the chair. Why didnt you tell me? She whispered. And dont play dumb with me Buffy, Im talking about you and Xander.
Oh. Was all she managed after a few moments.
Willow opened her eyes and looked down at the Slayer. Yeah. Thats kind of what I thought youd say. She rose up and walked away a few paces.
Buffy sat for a few moments trying to gather her thoughts. What exactly could she say in her own defense? Looking back on it she was lonely, she was afraid, she was missing Willow horribly. . .but none of that seemed like a valid explanation now. She walked up behind Willow and tried to start at the beginning. You left. Xander and I were patrolling together and he moved in after graduation. We got closer. Anya got bored with him and left for God knows where. We got letters from you but. . .but for me it still wasnt enough. It was like. . .it was like when you left you took a part of me with you and I didnt want. . .I wasnt ready to admit it to myself.
Riley and I kinda just fell apart after a while and he broke it off. He said I was distracted and he was right. The night Xander and I almost. . .he couldnt go through with it. I guess now we know the real reason why. I told him I felt like I was missing something in my life after you left. He suggested that we call you and that was the night Giles told you we threatened to come out to England if you didnt call us back. She laughed a little. God Will, I was so ecstatic when you called. Just to hear your voice. . just to hear you laugh. I said all the wrong things and I made you feel bad. Bad enough that you flew all the way across the ocean to see us.
Willow stood there with her back to Buffy. Tears fell silently as the Slayer spoke. She wasnt sure how to react. . .how to feel about everything. Buffy turned to Xander because she missed her. . .because she felt an emptiness in her life. Willow guessed thats the same reason she turned first to Tim then later to Cordelia. Shed never change what happened with Cordy, but with Tim. . he turned out to be a demon and the head of the Watchers Council. None of this would have happened if Xander had just minded his own business and let their lives be. But he got involved way over his head, was tricked by some rogue Council member to twist their memories and now here they were. Where exactly was here? And now that they were here. . .where were they going now? Now Willow was starting to feel guilty. . .she had a few secrets of her own.
Will? Buffy sighed and ran her hand through her hair nervously. Say something please. . .the silence is killing me.
She turned around slowly. If she was gonna do this, she had to do it now and face what ever Buffy felt after it was said and done with. I. . I didnt fly across the ocean to see you Buffy. I actually flew about an hour. Buffy gave her a confused look, but she continued on. I. . .I lived with Cordelia for about six or seven months while I was in therapy. I told you about that. . .but I didnt tell you for how long or when it was. When you called Giles I wasnt in Wales. . I was in L.A. and Giles called me after you called him. . .he was pretty frantic and took you seriously.
I talked about it with Cordy and decided that Id leave that Friday to see you. I felt so guilty that I was less than 3 hours away and didnt even call or try to see you guys but I wasnt exactly there on a vacation. I went a few months after the attack. . .I didnt want to bother you or Xander with my problems and I knew you had Slaying and Xander had. . .well, what ever it was that he was doing then. So when Giles suggested I go, I didnt put up much of a fight. I just couldnt take you seeing me like that. . .it was horrible, so horrible and I put Cordelia through hell literally. . .I just didnt want you to think any less of me.
Buffy took a moment or two and processed everything that Willow said. Truthfully I should be mad at you for not telling me you were only three hours away. She took Willows hand in her own. But I understand it. I know that you needed to do things in your own way, your own time. . .you always have. You need to know right now that I would never think any less of you for anything. . .you couldnt have stopped the attack and we both know it. . .as for Cordelia, well. . .maybe she was just what you needed back then. And Xander was what I needed.
Willow wiped a tear away and smiled. No more secrets?
Absolutely not. Buffy pulled her into a hug. You know everything there is to know about me, Will. Everything.
Mmm. . but your gonna have to remind me about some of the finer details.
Buffy looked at her. Like what?
Like this. She kissed her.
All the air would have gone out of the room had they been in one. The birds stopped singing, the trees stopped swaying in the breeze. . .everything ceased to exist except for the two of them joined at the lips.
Buffy soon had to struggle for some air. Air was good. Good air. Will, as much as I love kissing you. . .
Public place. . .I know. She pouted a little bit then her face brightened up. But. . our place isnt so public. Its very private really and it has doors you can close and a bed. . .
Youre tempting me. Prophesy ring a bell in that cute little red head of yours?
Willow pouted again. Prophesy smophesy. . . I want smoochies. To demonstrate her point, she kissed Buffy again.
Ok. . .I think Giles can handle things by himself for a while. She kissed Willows earlobe lightly. Dont you? She whispered.
Uh huh. Willow grabbed Buffys hand and they ran up the stairs and made a mad dash across the lawn.
A very amused vampire was standing in the window shaking his head. Somebodys gonna get shagged. . He whispered in a sing-song voice.
Giles looked up from his book. Did you say something, Spike?
I said this research is such a drag. He smiled to himself and shook his head again.
-----------------------
Part Eight
I am looking for someone who can take as much as I give And give back as much as I need y'know and they still have the will to live 'Cause I am intense, I am in need, I am in pain, I am in love But I feel forsaken, you know like the things I, I gave away And blood and fire are too much for these restless arms to hold And my nights of desire, they're calling me here, back to your fold And I'm calling you, calling you, from ten thousand miles away Won't you wet my fire with your love, babe? Blood and Fire by The Indigo Girls
Willow had forgotten how strong she was and how easy it was to get caught up in all of that strength. It was a good thing Xander used solid oak when he constructed the door that led to the third floor of the Summers home any other kind of door would have creaked and broken with the force it had just been put through.
Immortal slamming Immortal up against a hard oak door Willow pressing her body full length up against Buffys, trying to achieve supreme and total contact the Slayer moaned out of arousal, shed never seen Willow like this before. It was definitely a new and more take charge Willow. . .just the thought of it made Buffys mind, and other parts, ache.
Without looking, Willow fumbled around and unlocked the door. Once unlocked, she walked Buffy backwards steering her through the mess and into their bedroom. With her foot, she shut the door. She wrapped her arms more firmly around the Slayers neck and continued the assault on her mouth. . .her neck. . .her ear. . .
Buffy gasped for air. Ungh, Will. . .Ive never seen you so aggressive before.
She smiled into Buffys neck. Thats cause Ive never wanted anything so bad before. She kissed her hard again then looked into her eyes with intense desire. Correction. Anyone. Almost five months, Buffy. . .Ive been a good girl since I got home and I think I deserve a reward for my outstanding amount of patience.
She smiled an evil smile that struck Buffy as being oddly reminiscent of Vamp Willow. Before Buffy had a chance to follow that train of thought, she was pulled back into reality by Willow tugging at her sweater. She reached for Willows top only to have her hand swatted away. Hey!
Willow grinned evilly again. Your mine tonight Slayer. . .the sooner you accept it, the better off youll be. She kissed her again and they fell over onto the bed. Willow straddled her, all the while planting firm, wet kisses across her exposed chest and down to her stomach.
Buffy arched up to each kiss, begging for more contact. She couldnt believe the amazing sensations running through her body. Willow was certain in each touch, kiss, and embrace. . .Buffy could hardly ever remember a time when shed felt so turned on.
Willow kissed her way back up Buffys stomach and shifted over next to her. She nipped at her ear playfully and whispered. So whatll it be? Hmmm? She kissed Buffys cheek, her lips, and made her way over to the other ear. Soft and sweet or hard and fast? She covered Buffys body with her own again and invaded her mouth with her tongue. She felt Buffys hands rise up and touch her face, which only gave her more incentive to deepen the kiss further. Soon she broke away for air and leaned down to whisper in her ear. Whada ya like Buff? Hmm?. . .Kink or. . .vanilla? She whispered and licked her earlobe.
Buffys eyes shot open. Will!
What? She pushed herself up off of Buffy and looked at her.
Wheres Willow and what have you done with her?
She smiled and relaxed back down on top of her. I just. . .I want you to think Im sexy, Buffy. I kinda. . .well, I wanted to turn you on. She rolled over and took a much needed deep breath. So far Ive only managed to scare you. She smirked and looked over at the Slayer.
Buffy saw the uncertainty start to creep back into her face. She wasnt sure if she was relieved it was back or sad to see feisty Willow go. Will, I do think your sexy. She rolled over on her side and touched the side of her face. Everything you do, everything you are is sexy. Just the way you walk into a room gets me fidgety. She kissed her lips lightly. And the way you get so involved in research that you start to mumble to yourself. Kiss Or the way you used to sit at the computer to do homework and gnaw on a pencil. Kiss. Everything about you is sexy. . .I dont need you channeling Faith in order to turn me on. Just be Willow. Thats who I love. Buffy leaned in again and kissed her chastely. Shed intended to move back and continue her homage, but Willow had other plans.
Willow ran her hands lightly down Buffys sides and hooked her fingers into the top of her jeans. With a few quick movements, the buttons were undone and the jeans discarded across the room. Willow began to undress but found that her own hand was swatted away from her top. She faked a pout.
Dont look at me like that. Two can play at that game. Buffy slowly began to unbutton her sweater. As she slide it off her shoulders, Buffy place feather light kisses on each of her shoulders. Buffy felt Willow shudder as her lips came in contact with her skin and she smiled. Shed done that, made her feel that way. Buffy couldnt believe that she had ever doubted her love even for one microsecond. She felt guilty for all the time they lost together since Willow had gotten home. A week, they waited a week to do this because of her own stupid insecurities. Buffy was now determined to show Willow exactly how much she missed her and how much she loved her. This was a hell of a start
-----------
Has he woken up yet?
Spike looked up from his seat in the guest room. No. He keeps mumbling her name though. Stupid wanker. How the hell did he get involved with her? A barely audible growl came from the back of his throat.
Now lets not jump to conclusions, Spike. Well know more as soon as hes recovered more. Giles rubbed his temples and chose his next words carefully. When, um, was the last time you two had contact?
He fell into thought for a moment. Ireland. She took up with a human if you can believe that. At least I think hes still human. . .must have turned him by now. He sighed and closed his eyes. I tried to hide the fact that I couldnt bite anymore. It lasted about a month then she got all pissy with me. Said I didnt love her anymore. Said I should prove it by biting the next person to walk by. She liked it rough and gory. The more blood the better for Dru. I tried and got hit with one of those damn headaches again. She practically laughed in my face. I was humiliated I tell you. Then she had the nerve to go off with the little nancy pants. Said shed found herself a real man. He got up and pulled himself up to full height. To hell with her. Who needs her anyhow? Not old Spike I tell you. He began to walk out of the room.
When was this, Spike?
He shrugged. Bout two years ago Id say. Give or take. He headed towards the kitchen.
Giles sat down on the bed next to Xander. The cuts on his face still had some encrusted blood on them and were oozing. How the bloody hell did you put yourself in this position? He mumbled. You could have gotten yourself killed. He returned to the living room and got the first aid kit again.
Spike stopped him on his way back into the bedroom. The girls took off earlier. Something about catching up and what not.
I see. Well, theres really nothing for them to do here. May as well enjoy the time alone now. He continued to the bedroom.
Spike sat down on the couch and took a sip from his hug your librarian mug. He shook his head and sighed. What the hell are you up to Dru? What have you gotten involved with now?
----------------
Buffy spooned up behind Willow and kissed her bare shoulder.
Willow turned her head and smiled. What?
Nothing. I just love you. She wrapped her arm around Willows waist and pulled her closer. I am completely and utterly in love with you Willow Rosenberg. Just thought youd like to know.
Her smile widened. Good to know cause you had me worried there for a while.
Un uh. Never worry about that. You can count on ants for a picnic and the phone to ring when your in the shower and a mosquito to bite you in the one place you cant reach and the fact that Buffy loves Willow. Not necessarily in that order of course, but you get the point.
Loud and clear. Willows eyes drifted down to the comforter. Little movements were coming from underneath it. Someones getting all toasty again. . . She looked at Buffy and blushed.
Buffy closed the small space between them and kissed her. You know what they say.
Hmm. . .what? She replied from under the kiss.
Buffy slid over and on top of her. Practice makes perfect. She nuzzled Willows neck and kissed the smooth skin there. And you know what a perfectionist I can be.
If I didnt already I think Im about to find out. Willow smiled and brought Buffys chin up with her hand. I love you. I dont know else to say it or if there are even enough words in the whole dictionary to describe it. . .I just. . .I love you. She blinked back a few tears and pulled her down for a long, wonderful feel-it-in-your-toes kiss. The first of many to come.
--------------------
Part Nine
'Dark and dangerous like a secret that gets whispered in a hush' 'When I wake the things I dreamt about you last night make me blush' 'When you kiss me like a lover, then you sting me like a viper' 'I go follow to the river, play your memory like the piper' 'And I feel it like a sickness, how this love is killing me' 'But I'd walk into the fingers of your fire willingly' 'And dance the edge of sanity, I've never been this close' 'In love with your ghost' Ghost by The Indigo Girls
Shes gonna freak. A voice came from the back seat.
Its a little late for that now. Dont you think? He glanced up at her from the rear view mirror. Besides. . .were in this together. Youre with us and shell have to accept it.
Yeah, and if this whole Shadowman thingy is for real then theyre gonna need all the help they can get. Cordelia rolled her eyes. Leave it to Xander to get in the middle of everything. God! Hasnt he gotten a life yet? She pulled the visor down and checked over her makeup.
Anya huffed from the back seat. Not the last time I saw him. She crossed her arms across her chest and looked out the window. I wonder if hes found a new orgasm friend?
Angel glanced over at Cordelia and smirked. You look fine, Cordy.
She shot him a look. I know, I just. . .
You wanna look hot cause you havent seen Red in a long time. The first voice chimed in.
Cordelia turned around and glared at her in the back seat. Thats not true! Besides, who changed outfits six times before settling on the one theyre wearing now? She arched her eyebrows.
Hey, I dont have anyone to impress thank you very much Queen C.
Cordelia gave her a knowing smile. Thats not what you told me.
She shifted and knelt on the back seat and put her arms on the seat in front of her. You just keep to yourself what you know. Got it? She tried to glare.
You dont scare me Faith.
So who do you think will pass out first? Im thinkin Reds go for the swan dive if you ask me. What do you think soulman? She poked him in the shoulder.
He shook his head. Dont get me involved. . .I want nothing to do with it.
Faith laughed. Bs not gonna know what hit her. . .or who to hit first! Cordy, Reds ex and her ex-honeys current lover or me her ex-fling and her ex-honeys newest partner. Either way shes gonna freak! She leaned back and chuckled. Man, I wouldnt miss this for the world.
The car sped along into the night. They were half an hour from Sunnydales city limits. -------------
Giles emerged from the guestroom. Get Buffy and Willow here. Hes coming around.
Spike nodded and headed out the door.
------------
Buffy crept back into the room and noticed Willow was sitting up. Hey. When did you get up?
About two minutes after I noticed that I didnt have a warm body next to me anymore. She smiled.
Buffy sat down on the bed and placed a tray on Willows lap. I havent done much in the way of shopping so thisll have to do.
Mmm, strawberries and whipped cream? She dipped her finger in the bowl. and you warmed up the hot fudge? Ive died and gone to heaven. She licked her finger then dipped a strawberry in the fudge.
The only reason I have this stuff is because mom and I had an ice cream and movie fest last week. I hope everything is still good. She picked up a strawberry and bit into it. Mmm, perfect.
Willow got a glint in her eye. You know what would be perfect? She took some whipped cream and dabbed it on Buffys lips. Slowly she leaned in for a kiss and licked it off in the process.
Buffy smiled and whispered. You know whats even more perfect? She took a finger full of hot fudge and dabbed Willows chest and lips with it.
Hey! Thats kinda hot. She pouted.
Im sorry. Here, lemme get it for you.
Buffy had finished removing the fudge from her chest and was about to work on her lips when there was a knock on the door. Ugh. . .great timing. She got up and put her robe on. Dont move. Im not done eating yet.
Buffy opened the door. Spike? What are you doing here?
He smirked. Benedict Arnold is waking up.
Oh.
Well? Are you gonna invite me in or do I stand here like a bloody fool all night?
Come on in. Just let us get dressed. She moved aside.
What in the hell happened here? You two redecorating or something? He looked around at the mess.
Uh, yeah. Something like that.
Buffy? Willow walked out of the bedroom and was tying her robe. Whos. . .Spike? Whats going on? She moved over next to Buffy.
Xanders waking up. We have to get over there. Buffy looked at her and her eyes widened.
Someones been naughty. Spike wagged his finger at Willow then turned to Buffy. Didnt your mum ever teach you not to play with your food? He gave them both a wicked grin.
Not to play with. . .? Oh no! Willow turned bright red and licked her lips. Oops?
Sorry Will. Buffy gave her an apologetic look. Come on. Lets get dressed and high tail it to Scooby central. Willow rushed off to the bedroom ahead of Buffy then Buffy turned to Spike. Do you get off on embarrassing her?
I couldnt help it luv. Its just too easy sometimes. She never changes. Buffy slugged him in the arm. Hey! Not fair, Slayer. I cant fight back.
She walked off to the bedroom. Well be out in a few.
------------
Xander struggled and tossed in his sleep. Dru. . .no. . .stop!
Xander. Wake up boy, come one. Giles was shaking his shoulder.
His eyes shot open. Dru! He tried to get up but felt a sharp pain. Ugh, my ribs, my head, my face, my. . .everything. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. What happened?
Thats what I was about to ask you? Giles looked down at him.
Giles? How did I get here? Oh my head feels like its ten times normal size.
Your head is as normal as its ever been, I can assure you. Buffy, Willow and Spike are on their way. In the mean time take these, they should ease your discomfort. Giles handed him an assortment of pills.
He popped them in his mouth and gulped the water Giles handed him greedily. Thanks G-man. He leaned back and let out a sigh. Ouch.
You have at least three broken ribs and I believe your wrist is broken. Youre lucky Spike found you when he did. Xanders eyes went wide. And before you even ask, they found your diary. They know everything. Youre lucky your in this condition, Id hate to think about what youd look like if Buffy had gotten her hands on you first.
Oh man, Im dead.
Not yet but you will be if you dont explain exactly whats going on. Angel and Cordelia are on their way too. . . as well as their other, um, associates.
Xander huffed. The Scoobs reunite. And all for lil ol me. Im touched.
Youd better get serious, Xander. Giles rose and walked to the door. You have a lot of explaining to do and you wont be going anywhere any too soon. We have all night.