Re: List Gutter Affairs Memo

["sam stoltz" <shadowmage_draco@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

First order of business: unfaithful mutt shearing
While it is in the name of all humanity and gutter safety that this 
event take place, I 
must warn you on the hazards of shaving and preening said unfaithful 
mutt. The mutt has
displayed a tendancey to drool, bark, howl and scratch at anyone who 
attempts to teach it
good grooming techniques and manners. It is therefore advisable 
that the proper
equiptment be used in this situation. Such equipment can be signed 
out from the Office of
Public Safety. You must fill out the appropriate forms and please 
people. . .it's wearing
hard on our budget when the muzzles and whips go missing (along with 
two pairs of fuzzy
pink handcuffs). Do try to be careful with them and return them in 
working order. Oh
hell, I guess I'd be happy if you just returned them. . .

> (Manaical laughter) I'll try to return most of the items that I 
have borrowed just as soon as mutt-boy is properly groomed....<

Forth order of business: Parentage
Our crack team of experts (or was that team of crack experts?) is 
currently looking in to
the that one suggestion about Mutt-boy's parentage and possible 
carnal relations with a
lame duck. They have come to the conclusion that if you stand on 
your head and sing the
theme to Barney while holding a mirror up to the ceiling and having 
it reflect down upon
aformentioned relations. . .that it is indeed entirely, totally, 
almost kind of sorta in a
way possible. They are still hard at work in the labs as we speak.

>I knew it was possible, and you all thoughtr me mad..

Sam, shadowmage_draco
Unofficial roamer of the list gutter
President of the society to eradicate green eggs and ham
Director of nonsensical mayhem
Loyal member of the society to stake Riley

Palindrome of the week: A man, a plan, a cat, a ham, a yak, a yam, a 
hat, a canal--Panama