Rant: Prisms

[Mad-Hamlet@xxxxxxx]

Greetings,
I guess writing White wasn't enough closure..so I'm writing this too. 
Maybe to put some of my own thoughts in perspective ..maybe answer a 
few questions but I assure you, not to gloat. 

Well..I guess the easist place to start is 'Why'.
And even that's a hard one to answer. I mean, Willow is my absolute, 
drop dead, hands down, we will accept no substitute, character. So why 
did I do this? Why put someone I 'care' so much about through such a 
hell? I'm afraid the answer 'Why not' does not even come close. 
>From a practical point of view Willow is the perfect choice in 
victims. Lovely, not too physically dominating and at this point in 
the story line not very magical either. Also, again based on pure 
practicality is that it could only happen to her. 
Buffy? Fat chance, her Slayer-Stuff would make such a thing darn near 
impossible thus no fic. If it somehow occured she'd be damned in hell 
before she let anyone know about it and once again..no fic. Well..at 
least in my opinion. It could be written, hell it could be written 
better than Prisms(Lots could be..and probably has.) but I couldn't 
write it. No other female character, again in my opinion, is not 
popular enough to have such an effect on the cast. Or a fan.
With Willow it's going to be intresting!

God, there's a terrible thought, the rape of a beloved person being 
intresting. The word 'Vouyer'(Or however you spell it.) just got real 
ugly in my mind. 

The final nail in the head of 'Why' is that I hadn't seen it been done 
before. Not rape per se, but any dark fic that wasn't depending on 
some supernatural form of darkness. I'm not saying they don't exist, 
I'm saying I just havn't seen them. The darkness always came from the 
hellmouth or other 'Bastion of Evil'. 
This leads to the question of 'Why Rape' though?
In my mind that is about as evil a crime you can get. As Spike said so 
well..or did I say that through Spike? Eh..details..details..
AS SPIKE SAID.. they take you, use you and then just drop you on the 
pavement leaving you alive! No I've never been raped(Fat chance, I'm a 
GUY!) and I know no one who has been raped. But that doesn't make me 
angry at the concept of it. 
I love my fiancee very much and once I had a nightmare where she was 
raped. When I found the rapist, in my dream, I spent three hours 
breaking every joint in his body. Then I got mean.
But that's beside the point..I think.
The point is the elements work as such and therefore is the basis of a 
good story. Note the word..Basis. 
This takes us to...'How'.
Honestly I have no idea. It just happened. I havn't seen the actual 
show in years since moving to Eastern Europe from the East Coast. I 
just took what I knew, what I had read and what I guessed and this is 
what I got. Sounds simple..but it wasn't. I mean it didn't just flow 
like a river.. A good long time was spent staring at screen. Music 
helped though. Music helped a LOT. 'Specially 'Lucky Ones' by Biff 
Naked for the emotional parts and 'God is a Man' by Face to Face with 
a little Stuck Mojo on the side for the angry parts.
Listened to the music, took the..snarl in my guts ..sorta fed it 
through a ..mold I guess..a guess at the characters reactions-Mold and 
used that feeling and my touch with vernacular to write the stories. 
And the memories of many, many shows, movies, books, and reports 
detailing rape recovery for women which I somehow stumbled across in 
my life. 
Funny how all that stuff comes back. 
There was a price. There's always a price..yeah I know this sounds 
kinda spooky but it's the truth. I've went and gone so far into there 
minds at this point I'm not 100% sure I'm all back. I LIKE darkness, I 
spend a great amount of time trying to understand it(An impossible 
tast but enlightening just the same.) but in this case..IN THIS 
CASE..I think I'll be carrying an eensy, teensy piece of pain for a 
little while at least. 
I'm not a total foob begging Willow for forgivenss or anything like 
that, though I do prefer to think of her as being 'alive' somewhere 
not just the creation of text. 
I think I've wandered off topic.
Back to action.
To SUM up..regardless of what you've heard, or think you've read this 
fic was a BLAST to write. I have never been so inspired save once 
other and that production was no where near as in depth.(A Ranma 1/2 
Fanfiction called 'Brutal Truth')
This story has consumed my mind and heart for two weeks now. 
I don't regret it, I will not regret and I hope no one here does 
either. It's been a long ride..
And I'm happy to say it's probably not over. I have a few ideas..a few 
thoughts..a few hopes. They don't burn so brightly as Prisms did but 
that's probably cause I'm tired. I don't know if it will be the same 
as Prisms, though I do know it will pick up where Prisms left off.
I have a name and I'd like to share it with you.
Forge
There ya go. That's it. All wrapped up.
I think I got all the loose ends. 
I'd like to thank everyone who was kind enough to respond to my work 
and anyone who read it at all. Any questions, comments, CRITISIMS 
especially would me more than welcome. I've tried to reiterate the 
point that I'm not a fool and I don't think for a heartbeat that 
Prisms could not be improved.
In the interim..in the interim..thank you very much for accepting me 
and my work considering less than half a month ago you all didn't know 
me from Adam(ooo bad analogy.)
If ya'll excuse me now, I'm gonna go stand in the sun for a few 
hours..just to remind myself.
I remain, as always,
Mad-Hamlet