The context: I was at work last night listening to my tribute CD to the death of Mitch Leery (aka the Flash) and I wrote this six little, vignettes, I guess you could call them. I've been doing a little experimentation with formatting and style and such so I don't know how they'll read but I hope someone likes them. They're set in an AU season, I don't know, say 7 where Willow has conquered her "addiction" to black magic and is, for a while, happy with Buffy. Then, as they say, life isn't all smiles and roses is it? Enjoy the read.
Sink into your eyes and all I see Love isn an ocean and you are for me.
She thought that she had struck a killing blow. You thought she had struck a killing blow. I knew different. I laid there on the floor, the life slowly seeping from my stomach, unable to move, or to call out, staring into the depths of your unseeing eyes and I remembered.
I had never realized how lonely I had been before you came back until that Friday night when you showed up with that ridiculous movie and we just stayed in and slagged men all night. That was great.
You kept touching me, stroking my hair, playing with my earlobes, poking the little flabby part of my stomach, the part that has two feet of steel through it right now.
At first I thought it was a little weird and I thought about telling you I preferred boys. The I looked into your eyes, and they were like the ocean, pulling me out, drawing me in, drowning me in the riptide of your love.
Now I?m waiting here on the other side for you, ever so lonely, waiting for that time we can be alone together.
The ghost of you has almost faded now
Drifting in and out of my life.
We knew when we came back that this wouldn?t end well for anyone. They were Titans, giants of magic and power. We came anyway because that?s what we did then, jumped face first into the most trouble we could find.
None of us were expecting them to have slid so far into the Abyss as they had though. Check that, have. Because we didn?t change anything did we babe? Sure, we saved a bunch of abandoned buildings from being trashed but the people who lived in them, who we came to protect, they were long gone, or else they had chosen a side to fight on.
We tried though didn?t we? We tried to make them come back, then we tried to fight them but they crushed us and kept fighting each other. I buried you guys one by one, Wes, Gunn, Fred, what was left of the big guy. I stole some markers from an old funeral home, carved your names myself.
I don?t fight anymore, and they don?t care about me. Buffy knows that when she killed you in front of my eyes she may as well have she killed me too. I wake up every morning with a gun under my pillow, waiting for you to call me to you. Then I go to your grave and sit all day, listening for your voice.
They?re running out of proxies now, of people to do their fighting for them. They?ll have to face off soon and I?m gonna be there. They?ll probably kill me but at least then we?ll be together won?t we?
Leaning into hear you, you will whisper in my ear Then everything I need to know I?ll finally hear. Lying by the river on a sunny Saturday afternoon, the light shining around her head as I look up and see her staring off into the trees. Her fingers idly trace a pattern of concentric circles on the flesh of my inner arm. I wave my hand in front of her face and she looks down at me, smiling absently and placing a perfunctory kiss on my forehead. The circles stop as she returns her gaze to the forest and the smile quickly fades. --Whatcha thinkin? ?bout? --The fawn I murdered. --Sacrificed. --Whatever. I remember coming here with Dawn when she was a kid. But I really didn?t. I hope she comes back soon. She?ll be happy for us. If there still is an us. She stretches her body over my head to reach her Evian and I press my lips to the inch of exposed stomach that presents itself. She whispers something. --What?d you say? She pulls back and leans down to whisper in my ear?I love you. Does it get any better than this?
I didn?t come this far For you to make this hard for me. I watched her pile heaps of little pink and yellow tee shirts into the ?gigantic brown suitcase seemingly without a bottom? as I had dubbed it when she moved in. --That?s it? You?re just going to pack up and go? I tried really, really hard not to sound whiny or accusatory. Judging from the sigh that preceded her answer it hadn?t worked. --Yeah, that?s pretty much it. --Why? That time I deliberately went for whiny. --You know why. The questions, they checking up constantly, the fucking distrust Buffy! I?m trying really hard to beat this thing and you?re not helping. The suitcase was full and she was hoisting it to head downstairs. I had to hurry. --I never meant- --I didn?t come this far for you to make this hard for me. I tried to tell you and you wouldn?t listen. So this is my only choice. --After everything we shared? --Even after that. She was at the door of the taxi now. I was crying on the porch. --I love you. --That won?t work this time. I started to cry. As she slammed the door of the cab I noticed she wasn?t.
Fade into you, strange you never knew.
They were together and they were happy, the unrest of previous months selectively forgotten. I wasn?t though, because you were gone. My sister thinks that I?m jealous of her because of the way he?s obsessed with her. She thinks I want to, I don?t know, fuck his bleach-blonde, sunken cheeked head off. EW. I wasn?t jealous of her. He?s a boy and if there?s one thing that I learned from my brief flirtation with juvenile delinquency it?s that boys are stupid. I was always jealous of the other one though. I don?t like to say her name, I think she can hear me and I?m afraid of her. I miss you. You taught me so much about?stuff. You never let it run your life though, not like she does. I had a big old teenage crush on you. It?s strange you never knew, I thought maybe you would have noticed my attempts to look seductively at you. It was that time that she went nuts that was the clincher though. When it moved from crush to love. You protected me from her when no one else could. You were like Obi-wan at the end of Star Wars, defying her with the sheer force of your goodness. I know where you are now Tara and I?m coming to find you. I want you to protect me. I want you to love me.
I don?t want to cause you any pain, I would give you the world. I don?t want to fuck up anything I just want to love you. --I got your letter just in time. I was planning on leaving the next day. I?ll admit that you threw me for a bit of a loop with your confession. --You?re telling me you got there just in time, Willow tried to kill me three times that week. Why?d it take so long for that letter to get to you? --I was moving around a lot. Dawnie, I?ll take you to Xander?s if you want. I know you like it there, and, and I don?t want to cause you any pain. --You?re kidding right? Did you not read that letter? I love you. When we?re together, I want to give you the world. We can just go to, to- Colorado and watch the snow come down. --I just don?t want to fuck up anything, I want to take you somewhere you?ll be happy. --Tara! I can?t believe you swore! My whole view of the universe has been shattered. --You know you?re stronger than me right? Probably even stronger than? --Don?t say it. I don?t care about any of that stuff. I just want to be your girl. And she didn't care. And I didn't. And we drove to colorado and watched the snow come down. For a little while.