Wow. Fantastic debut, and I'm stunned (in a good way) that my fulminations had any part in bringing as talented a writer as yourself to the 'ship. Can't wait to see more.
Not only are you attempting to correct the things I hate about Season 6 (the characterizations of Buffy and Willow, and the Spuffy-rutting), but you've put in all the things I was missing. The emotional catharsis the girls desperately needed, with the screaming and the shaking and crying, a more positive affirmation of the B/W bond (as much as I loved that conversation in "Wrecked", when Buffy went from "You are more than 'some girl'. You don't need magic to be special." to "And Tara loves you", I was groaning. Let Tara do her own work, I said, tell her how YOU feel about her, how much she means to you. I am very happy you've given me a Buffy who does just that.), and best of all, library-missage. I miss my library :(
The stuff about packing up Buffy's room was spot on (well, except that the house doesn't have an attic) and I loved how Buffy was almost disappointed that Will hadn't been planning the resurrection from Day 1.
I could just imagine Willow sitting there thinking Buffy was going to wake up any second. Why not? Stranger things have happened. And Giles falling to pieces was painful to imagine (because the facade is normally so strong).
The train metaphor was a little forced, but the sentiment was potent. You always do think you have more time to make up your mind, and you don't. Put me in mind of Willow's beautiful line to Xander in "BB&B" (the one I quote when ever someone says they can't see B/W [or anyone] as more than friends):
>But friendships change all the time. People grow apart; they grow closer.
Buffy missed her chance to grow closer and so she and Willow grew apart. (I mostly blame it on the Bronze scene in "The I in Team", where Willow is practically begging for her love...)
And yet, it's still there waiting to be found. Delightful (and unexpected) first kiss, with great lines:
>I know. I've always known...here. I've always >known here...in my heart. And so have you."
aww-some. And so true. Buffy and Willow have always known, they just haven't been able to admit it. With other couples, this wouldn't be true. But Buffy knows she loves her Willow, and vice versa; they just haven't known what it means, so they've stayed stuck in "best friend" territory.
I went back to the fic to make sure I was quoting the lines correctly and found a few more things I liked about it:
Willow's pain at being the recipient of the "Slayer Stare". Buffy's admiration for Willow working the Witch-Fu. Buffy watching Willow sleep.
Well, I suppose I'd better stop before I praise every word. But I'm stoked to see this. A new author, bringing quality work, and with 9 more chapters to go. Plus it sounds like you have a surprise or two in store for us. Can't wait for it.
Life is good. Plus, you gave me props :) (Hey, I'm shallow. Sue me.)
Dan
In effusive over-drive