FIC: To Thine Own Self Be True 4/undetermined.

["wizathogwarts" <mcronin24@xxxxxxxxx>]

Title - To Thine Own Self Be True 4/undetermined yet.
By mike (mcronin24@xxxxxxxxx) 
SPOILERS: Season 1, Welcome to the Hellmouth and The Harvest.
RATING: R. It is a Buffy/Willow fic that includes smoochies, 
carressing and mystical intimacy. 
DISCLAIMER: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all characters belong to 
Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox. 
FEEDBACK: Constructive comments are encouraged. 
SUMMARY: (Buffy/Willow) This picks up after Los Angeles. Buffy 
moves to Sunnydale and meets Willow. 
Authors Notes: I seriously considered keeping Buffy and Willow from 
getting together too early, and just play with the sexual tension 
between them. But quite frankly, season six has me so depressed 
that I needed to get them together early so that I could have some 
happy thoughts. If season 7 gets happier, I may come back and write 
an alternate story line keeping them apart and having fun with the 
tension between them.

To Thine Own Self Be True
Chapter 4
Willow

Welcome to Sunnydale. The sign seemed like a joke. It was all so 
peaceful. So mundane. Why am I in Sunnydale? Well, six weeks ago, 
I turned sixteen. One week after that I became the slayer and all 
within two more weeks, I had gotten my watcher killed, killed the 
master who had killed my watcher and roasted the master's minions 
and the icing on the cake, my parents are getting divorced.

After burning down the school gym, even though they couldn't prove I 
did it, my dad said he couldn't handle me anymore. He actually 
suggested military school, but my mom won that battle. Two things 
saved me. One, some of the kids claimed that I saved a bunch of 
them from some biker gang (that's easier to believe than vampires) 
and two, my grades were excellent, well except for missing half my 
classes the last 2 weeks before the dance where I dusted the vamp 
that had killed Merrick and fried all his minions using the gym as 
an incinerator. Merrick said one of my strongest features was my 
ability to improvise. Merrick would have been proud. Those two 
items saved me from prosecution, not from expulsion. That along 
with mom needing to get a job brings us to Sunnydale. 

Mom has a degree in art history and had worked in a museum and some 
art gallery's off and on but hadn't had any thing to add to her 
resume for a few years, having decided to be a stay at home mom.  
Mom had two items on her list, get a good paying job dealing with 
art and find me a high school that would accept me which meant 
outside the LA school district. Sunnydale is almost two hours 
outside LA and someone thought mom would be perfect to run a new art 
gallery in Sunnydale that catered to buyers from Santa Barbara to 
Monterey. If I hadn't been so focused on my own problems at the 
time, my well honed suspicious nature would have found this a little 
too coincidental.  

I was expecting a really small town, but was pleasantly surprised.  
The population was around one hundred thousand. They even had a 
real mall with a cineplex. There was also a university, UC 
Sunnydale. And I was all set up for Sunnydale High School. We 
arrived on Saturday, two hours before the moving van and got settled 
into a really quaint two story wood frame house with a nice big 
porch. 

I kept telling myself this was going to be OK, even though I was 
concerned about how I was going to fulfill my "Before I die" list 
being so far from the action. That was my first false assumption.

I was also excited about no one knowing me here. False assumption 
two.

I was looking forward to making new friends who would have no 
preconceptions of me. Well at least that part was right.

So Monday morning comes all sunny and bright and I move around boxes 
getting ready for school. I get a little nervous thinking about 
having to start all over again, but remind myself that its like 
having a second chance to get everything right, kinda like ground 
hog day. I just hoped I didn't need that many times to get things 
right.  

Mom drops me off in front of school and as I close the door, she 
calls out to me.

"Buffy," she says with a pleading quality.

"Yea mom," I reply.

"Try not to get kicked out school, OK", she finishes with hope in 
her voice.

"Yea mom, I'll try", I give her a big grin and hurry off.

As I'm walking up the front steps, I hear a thunk and thud behind me 
and glance back and see some pathetically dressed guy with a 
skateboard laying on the ground on his back under the guard rail.  
He shakes his head and I turn around and continue walking into 
school. I find the Administrative offices and let them know who I 
am. They tell me the principal, Mr. Flutie would like to talk to 
me. Lets just say Mr. Flutie was embarrassing. He started to rip 
up my school record from Hemry claiming everyone got a fresh start 
and then taped it back together muttering something about burning 
down the gym. Not the best of starts, but at least I hadn't been 
kicked out yet.

I got my schedule and headed off to my first class with paperwork 
and class slips for my teachers in hand. I was told to go to the 
library on my first free period to get my books.  
First class was History. I gave my paper work to the teacher and 
grabbed an empty desk near the back next to a really pretty girl who 
dressed really well. She shared her text book with me during class 
and told me her name, Cordelia. Pretty name I thought and I was 
encouraged by how openly friendly she was right off the bat, but 
trust must be earned, and the price of my trust is high.  

After class, we walked down the hall to the next class, stopping by 
the drinking fountain. Cordelia had been talking about how she 
wished she could be in LA for all the shoes or something and then 
started talking about hanging with her if I passed some cool factor 
test. I played along to see where it was going, but I was cooling 
fast. Cordelia was turning out to be a really bad cliché'. We 
stopped at the drinking fountain where some girl about my size with 
long red hair was getting a drink.

"Willow," Cordelia spoke out, "glad to see you've found the softer 
side of Sears".

"My mother picked it out." The embarrassed girl squeaked out, 
turned and ran. She stopped at the hall exit and looked back. I 
then realized that I had been staring at her, totally dumbstruck at 
how beautiful she was and couldn't believe no one else could see it.

I then heard Cordelia saying something about watching out for the 
losers but all I was thinking over and over in my head was a 
name. "Willow".

Lunch came and I went hunting, I needed to find her. I couldn't 
explain it, but I hadn't felt this strong a need since Valerie 
left. I walked out into the south court and saw her sitting on a 
bench, opening a lunch bag. I walked up to her and waved.

"Willow, right?" I said in what I hoped was a captivating way.  

"You want me to move", she asks me. Looking at me with the most 
beautiful green eyes I have ever seen. I shake myself realizing 
what she's thinking and quickly respond.

"Lets start over, I'm Buffy. I have a favor to ask. It doesn't 
involve moving, but it would involve hanging with me for awhile."  
Please say yes, I silently plead.

"Aren't you hanging with Cordelia?", she almost accuses me. Can't 
quite blame her for that one.

I decide to play safe for a bit longer and reply, "I can't do both?" 
I query.

"Not legally", she responds in all seriousness with a perfect 
deadpan.

I break out into a big grin, stifling my laughter, thinking she is 
just too adorable.

"Her loss then". I reply sitting down next to her on the bench. We 
are both straddling the concrete bench facing each other.

"As for the favor, I heard you're the one to talk to about getting 
caught up on classes and all." I let her know.

"I can totally help you out there, but you would really rather hang 
with me than Cordelia?" She says in disbelief with a hint of 
suspicion.

The suspicion in her voice cautions me not to come on too strong.  

"Absolutely," I reply, "as for the reason why, I know Cordelia's 
type. Knew it well in LA. They can't be trusted. And they have 
only two things on their minds, boys and clothes. Those 
conversations get really boring fast."

"You find talking about boys boring?" She asks cautiously.

Damn, I say to myself. Then I remember "The Letter". "To thine own 
self be true." But could I trust this girl who I just met. I then 
decided to go with my instincts and said,
"I guess I have to give a little trust before I can expect to be 
trusted, does that sound fair Willow?" I say softly, holding her 
gaze with my own.

"That sounds fair, but what are you trusting me with?" She says 
back to me equally softly, and with anticipation of something 
important.

"The answer to your question is yes Willow, I find discussions about 
boys very boring. I am now trusting you with some very personal 
information about myself. All I ask is for you to trust that I 
would rather spend time with you than with Cordelia or any of her 
cronies. If we can get past this, then I think we could have the 
start of a real friendship. What do you say?" I almost plead with 
her, ready to run if she rejects my offer. I can't believe that I 
have exposed myself this quickly, this readily. I must be crazy.  
Then I look again into her eyes and know that she's worth the risk.

"I say friendship is good." A quick pause, a nod of her head and a 
pursed lip." I trust you." She gulps out and then gives me this huge 
smile that would put the most beautiful sunrise to shame. I can't 
help but grin goofily from ear to ear upon seeing it. Just then, 
the moment is shattered by loud smelly guys. One on each side of 
us. I glance at each of them in turn, ready to pound them if they 
threaten Willow. I look back at Willow and she still has her big 
happy smile and I relax. She looks at me and say's while pointing 
at the guy with the messy hair , "Buffy, this is Xander. Xander, 
Buffy. And this is Jesse" she finishes up pointing at the other 
one.

I want more time with Willow but these are obviously friends of 
hers, and Willows friends are my friends I tell myself. Even if 
they are male.

Xander starts off on some weird ramble about getting to be close 
friends and relationships and I just glance at Willow. She rolls 
her eyes at me, which causes me to stifle a giggle and her to look 
pleased that she got me to laugh.

Just then Cordelia came up.

"Don't let me interrupt your downward mobility," she started while 
trying to shoo Jesse away. "But your meeting with the gym teacher is 
canceled because of the extreme dead guy found in the girls locker 
room."

Jesse starts to offer some inane platitude about comfort and I 
interrupt him with a question to Cordelia.

"Any idea how he died?", I ask pointedly.

"Morbid much, I didn't ask", she states with a look of extreme 
disgust. Could be she got a whiff of Jesse.

I look around and then at Willow and say, "I gotta book, see you 
later?" I ask her.

"I'll meet you in the library, OK?" She replies.

"In the library." I repeat back to her.

I then head quickly off in the direction of the women's lockers.  
When I get there, I find the door locked. I decide not to break 
things my first day in school and go outside and see the large 
window open about 12 feet up. I look around and see that I'm alone 
and launch myself up and through the opening. Good thing I'm a tiny 
little thing I murmur to myself. I land with a bit of a thunk on 
top of a row of lockers and quickly jump to the ground. I walk 
around until I see a tarp over what I assume to be a body. Gotta 
make this quick before the Coroner and cops arrive. I pull back the 
tarp and turn the guys head and see the twin punctures in the side 
of his neck. "Bite me." I whisper. I then check his mouth for any 
evidence that he had done any drinking. There was no residue in his 
mouth and no smell of vampire. I wouldn't have to track him down 
later for staking. But I would have to figure out who did the 
deed. But I could do that later. Right now I had a date to meet 
Willow at the Library. The thought of Willow immediately put a 
smile back on my face as I covered the corpse and left by way of the 
door. Making sure it closed quietly and completely after my exit.  
I then referred to the small map I had been given that morning of 
the school and made my way to the Library.

When I entered the Library, I was stopped by the feeling of power in 
the room, but I wasn't able to discern if it was good or evil. As I 
slowly walked towards the desk, a tall man, older than thirty but 
not grandfather age yet, came from a back room. He looked at me and 
said in a very British accent,

"Can I help you?" He asked while raising his eyebrows. The accent 
immediately made me suspicious.

"Yes," I replied, "I'm new and need some books." I stated simply.

He looked me more carefully and said "Miss Summers?"

"Good guess." I replied, almost certain now that this guy was a 
watcher.

"I have just what you're looking for." He stated gleefully and 
plopped out this huge old book with the title "Vampyre".

"Wrong," I said looking right back at him. "I'm not registered for 
blood suckers 101. I need some textbooks, but now the dead guy in 
the locker makes more sense. I really hadn't expected vampires.  
Not in this quiet little town. And especially not on my first day of 
school. What's going on with the guy who's had all his blood 
drained through two tiny holes in his neck. Are you handling it?" I 
ask, already knowing the pat answer. 

"What am I to do about it, I'm a watcher, you're the slayer." He 
states as if that should be enough.

I reign in my emotions, reminding myself not to give anything away.  
But it doesn't mean I can't have a little fun.

"Well, I just got here, why don't you try slaying while I get 
settled in. It's no biggie. A little holy water, a stake through 
the heart and off they go."

"But I'm your watcher" he stammers. "I train you, and guide you and 
instruct you in your duties."

"Well," I start out. " I have this fondness for living, and living 
means being careful and not taking bad advice. So I don't take 
advice from people I don't know and who haven't earned my trust 
yet. Are you prepared to earn my trust, whatever your name is Mr. 
Watcher." I spoke challenging.

"I'm Mr. Giles. You are required to trust me, I am the Council's 
representative." He spoke with authority.

"I saw 'Charge of the light brigade' Giles, and it made the last act 
of Hamlet look like a walk in the park. You want to work with me, 
you're going to have to prove yourself. I've taken out a Master and 
over 20 of his minions. I've proven myself. What about you?" I 
said coldly, daring him to come back.

"Well yes, you have been remarkably successful for a recently called 
slayer. I think I might see my way to earning your trust.  
Unfortunately, I have to attend a staff meeting right now. I'll 
return in an hour and we can then discuss the matter."

"It will have to be later," I replied, "this is my first day and my 
mom is expecting me."

"All right," he replied shortly, "I'm sure something can be 
arranged. We'll talk later" and with that he picked up a notebook 
and left the library.

I was gazing at the swinging doors after Giles left when I was 
startled.

"Buffy?" I jumped straight up and turned around while in the air to 
see Willow emerging from the darkness of the upper level book stacks.

"Willow" I barely whispered, just now remembering why I originally 
had come to the Library.

"Uhhh, I pulled your textbooks for your." She looked at me with a 
look of curiosity and confusion, walking toward me with half a dozen 
text books in her arms.

"Let me take those," I quickly approach her, and with a grateful 
smile, take the books from her arms.

"Buffy, I heard your conversation with Mr. Giles, what was that all 
about?" She asked while at the same time locking her eyes to mine.  
I knew she was looking for any sign of deceit.  

I had already started on a path of trust with her, I was determined 
not to blow it now.

"Willow, this is going to require me to trust you with something 
incredibly important, are you sure you want the responsibility of 
knowing?" I asked, letting her see the seriousness in my eyes.

She continued reading me for a few more moments then gave me that 
heart melting smile of hers and I swear I could feel my self blush 
as I responded with an ear to ear grin of my own.

"So this is bigger then telling me your gay, huh? If I trust you 
with my friendship for life, will that be good enough?" She stated 
with complete and honest sincerity.

I was struck speechless, the innocent and trusting way she spoke 
just blew away all my defenses. I had to say something. Which meant 
my emotions ran away from me and took over my mouth.

"Willow, pledging my eternal, undying love to you couldn't match 
such an offer as your lifelong friendship." It was out of my mouth 
before I had even run it by my brain. I swear my hormones were 
going to be the death of me yet.  

Willow gazed back at me dumbfounded and I panicked. I dropped the 
books and reached for her, putting my hands on her upper arms 
because she looked ready to faint from shock.

"I'm sorry Willow, but sometimes my mouth just runs off without my 
brain. Please ignore what I said, I really want your friendship,  
Please just tell me what to do or say so you don't run away 
screaming." I pleaded to her desperately. I knew I had really 
blown it and wondered if I could run away and join the Navy. As I 
stood there, holding her upright and contemplating a life at sea, 
her vision cleared up and those beautiful green eyes began to 
sparkle again.

"Don't sell yourself short, Buffy." She spoke in a low, soft 
voice. "You've just pledged your eternal, undying love. How do I 
know its for real. We have only just met today. How can I be sure 
your serious?"

"You want me to be serious?" I ask in amazement.

"Why not, " she says to me mischievously, "It's not like I get an 
offer like that every day. Besides, your are absolutely the most 
beautiful woman I have ever met." She finishes shyly.

"Will this prove it to you?" I lean towards her knowing now what 
proof she needs. My lips gently touch hers slowly applying 
pressure. At the moment our lips touched, I felt a rush of energy 
like nothing I had ever felt before. I felt infused with power and 
light and every nerve in my body was suddenly awake and singing. I 
faintly heard our echoing moans of pleasure as my arms encircled her 
neck and her arms went around my waist as we pulled ourselves closer 
together. Mindlessly, our mouths devoured each other finding the 
rhythm of the energy flowing between us. Instinctively, we used the 
kiss to modulate the flow through and over our bodies until we 
finally pulled apart in a desperate need for air. As we clung to 
each other, waiting for coherent thought to return, we 
simultaneously gasped out with what little intellect remained to us 
collectively.

"WOW". At least we did it in unison.

Finally Willow spoke up, "Buffy, I accept your eternal, undying love 
and only feel right in doing so if you accept my eternal, undying 
love in return." She whispered this to me while gazing into my eyes 
with so much love and affection that my only response was to start 
crying uncontrollably with the happiest tears I have ever 
experienced.

"Thank you Willow, " I finally gasped.

Willow put her hand to my cheek and began to wipe my tears away and 
gently kissed my cheeks, causing incredible waves of pleasure each 
time her lips touched me.

With my tears dried, I returned the kisses to her cheeks, hearing 
her gasp with pleasure, and I moaned as my lips felt like they were 
alive, with a sensitivity that I can't begin to describe.

I pulled back finally and lost myself in those beautiful eyes of 
hers.

"So Buffy, what's a slayer?" Willow asked me finally.

"Come with me and I will explain everything." I promised.

"Uh Buffy, don't we still have three classes before we can leave 
school?" Willow asked with an apologetic look on her face.

I had forgotten that we were on lunch break. "Oh yea, we can go to 
my house right after school and do home work and I can tell you 
everything, if thats OK with you of course." I asked letting my 
embarrased stupidity show on my face.

"Can't wait." She replied with a big smile and went over to the 
library door to wait for me.

I gathered up my books and we left the Library. The Library which 
I pledged would forever be one of my most favorite places in the 
world.