I'm not sure anyone posted to you yet Mandy but you bring up some good issues. In the real world coming out is not a good experience for the most part. Eventually I think it frees the soul in some ways but in others...it's isolating. Especially if you have friends and family that don't understand or worse don't WANT to understand. I think it's twice as hard if you're a teenager when everyone is supposed to fit in. I remember how cruel some teenagers can be in general and when it comes to homosexuality it's far worse. Reason being is the fear factor. Teenagers are trying to find their place in the world and it's true that some of the most homophobic people are the ones that aren't certain of their sexuality. I admire you for making the choices you have. It takes a lot of guts and courage.
Which leads me to my point about 'Buffy:TVS'....
Buffy is a fantasy show but there are many roots of reality in it. Buffy's reaction to Willow is exactly the best friend reaction of someone who's confident in their sexuality but a bit thrown by a friend's confession. I keep remembering how she kept saying 'Wills' with every sentence after Buffy put two and two together and got ...Will and Tara...together...THAT way<LOL>. But I also can see how Willow's gang would accept her as lesbian. They love her and although they didn't understand it at first she was still Willow. Plus, no one in the gang at any point previously acted malicious towards gays. Xander was uncomfortable with Larry but still he didn't go around school telling everyone he was gay. He's discomforted seemed to come from the confusion that Larry had about Xander. The guy bared his soul to Xander because he thought he was gay too and Xander didn't know how to 'fix it' without making Larry feel terrible. So what did he do?...He let it ride...But again, he was secure in the fact he was straight. I think everyone in the scoobie gang knows who they are so they are far more accepting.
I'm not sure if I can write you a Buffy/Willow fic but I know I could write a Tara/Willow fic like that. Reason being is I don't see Buffy/Willow together during the high school years (sorry<G>). But I can certainly see Shelia Rosenberg having a problem with her daughter being gay. If you think you'd be interested I'd like to take the challenge. Let me know and drop me an email on or off list.