Re: [[Re: To Thine Own Self Be True 1,2, 3/undetermined.]]

[Mad Hamlet <Mad-Hamlet@xxxxxxx>]

Greetings,

>>It's probably because I haven't had my morning coffee yet, but I 
don't get the SHOW DON'T TELL!!

Fine, okay a quick example then.

First off...telling.

Buffy wept tears of joy, she was so happy she could barely speak, she took the
object of her happiness in her arms and hugged them tightly to her chest, her
heart bursting with happieness and her throat nearly closed shut trying to
express her feelings. Finally she got the words out, "Pinkachu! I choose
you!"

(People are going to kill me for this.)


Next up...showing.

Buffy wiped at her eyes with her free hand. The tears kept coming and she
could barely make out the person in front of her. She could feel her heart,
hammering in her chest, the blood racing to all parts of her body, the flesh
along her arms, her legs tingling with anticpation and relief. Everything was
so fast, and so slow at the same time. A moment that would live in her memory
forever, a moment she wanted to end because she couldn't wait to see what
happened next and at the same time she wanted it to last forever! She wanted
to sob, to cry, to laugh, to scream her happiness to the heavens but her
throat was so dry. She swallowed, her tounge lazy in her mouth, drugged into
stupor by the buzz screaming through her body, her life, her soul. With great
effort, greater than any she had known before she managed to pry those final
words that were needed for now, though many more would come in time, words,
actions deeds, thoughts...all of them, but the first words, the most important
words were finally ready for her to say. (Insert whatever the hell you wantto
here.)



Now I admit the examples are a bit heavy handed. Okay, they're 'Lets drop a
mack truck on someone' class heavy but the prinicple remains the same.

Telling is you, the author are TELLING me what the character is feeling. IE:
She was so happy she was ready to burst!

Showing is much harder and usually doubles, or even triples the size of the
work but in it you use the description of how you believe they would actually
feel. The sweat breaking out on their foreheads, their eyes rolling wildly in
there sockets(That would work well for fear.) 
The cold clammy sweat that made their skin prickly and uncofortable, the small
itch betweent their toes that they hadn't noticed before and now couldn't
ignore.(Anxiety or stress)

etc...etc.. and so on. 
It is these parts that the author must TRULY draw on life experiences.
Remember that hollow, sick, empty feeling you had in your tummy when some
authortiy figure nailed you doing something wrong? Or that night you finally
got laid for the first time and your hands(Or whatever) couldn't stop shaking?
(And don't you DARE tell me you were calm as a cumcumber, I'd call you a
liar.) These are SHOWING. You use the description of the sensations, feelings,
expieriences to SHOW the reader and from the description they gather what the
character is dealing with. 

The problem with this is some sensations are personalised. For example(Blunt
example.) if a masochist was writing about pain he'd be all lighthearted and
joyful which would confuse the hell out his readers but, as far as the
masochist is concerned, thats PAIN to him/her/it. 
An extreme(Very) example but covers the bases.

There are universal applications of 'showing' and induvidual ones that still
resonate with most readers. The trick is to figure these out. An adequate job
of Showing can turn a slightly unerving scene into 'The Story Image From
Hell'. The kind that turns your readers guts inside out, make them swear
vengeance upon you and your blood kin for the next fifteen generations
BUT...they also come back for more.

I can't exactly recall the reaction that my 'But Eros Died' got but a lot of
it wasn't pretty. It sorta centered around the message 'FIX THIS OR WE'LL DRAG
YOU DOWN A STREET COVERED IN BROKEN GLASS AND THEN THROW YOU IN A BACTINE
BATH!'

You get the gist of it.
That, that is what authors live for.

Hope this clears it up a tad.

I remain, as always,
Mad-Hamlet





There is only one thing that can damn me.
That can send me down in a swirling maelstrom of fire and pain.
And it is not the word of Man.
And it is not the lessons and rules of the Church, hypocrites every one.
And it is not the words of God, nor the judgements of Angels.
And it not a fair tribunal of my 'peers' that can find me guilty of crimes
immortal.
No. 
I can only be accused, judged and damned by my own Soul.
And I would never be so betrayed.

Mad-Hamlet