Power Surges, Blackouts, and Reacting to Shippers

["ebailey140" <ebailey140@xxxxxxx>]

Title:  Power Surges, Blackouts, and Reacting to Shippers
Writer:  E
Email:  ebailey140@xxxxxxx
Category:  Comedy
Rating:  R to NC-17
Disclaimer:  I don't own these characters.  They're owned by Joss
Whedon, J. K. Rowling, and a lot of corporations.  
Summary:  Following Scales, Labels, and the Advantages of Petite
Women.  Buffy and Willow have finally come together (Ahem).  But, they
must now face the consequences of their actions....

Buffy and Willow are in bed, both out light a light, naked, still in a
69 position...

POP!  POP!  POP!

Three women have appeared in the room out of nowhere, wands out, ready
for anything.  Or, so they think...

Hermione:  All right, now...  What?!!

Buffy:  (groggy)  Mmm...  Wha?...

Ginny:  Looks like we found the source of our power surge...

Luna:  (smiles)  Hi, Buffy.  Sorry to drop in unexpected, like this...

Dawn:  (charging into room)  Buffy!  Somebody's...  (looks around) 
What the HELL?!!!
Luna:  (smiles)  Hi, Dawn.

Dawn:  Hi, Luna.

Willow:  (waking up)  Mumble...  Who's yelling...  (looks up)  EEEEEE!!!!!

Luna:  (still smiling)  Well, first it was Dawn, now it's you.  Hi,
Willow.

Willow:  Hi, Luna.  Um, not that I don't like all of you, but why are
you here?  In Buffy's bedroom?  While we're naked, and, I guess,
asleep?  I don't remember going to sleep...

Ginny:  Um...  Well, it's...  um...  Exposition Girl?

Hermione:  Sorry for the intrusion, but we'd regestered a huge magical
power surge coming from here, like nothing we'd seen, before.  It was
rather...  passionate and primal, started slow and steady, having
little spikes, then it exploded.  We thought, perhaps, one of the Old
Ones had risen, so we came to investigate.  

Buffy:  Oh.  That was just us.  That really big one must have been
from that last simultaneous orgasm that we blacked out on.

Luna:  I'm impressed.

Hermione:  Of course.  That would do it...

Willow:  Um, do we really have to go into all the intimate details?

Buffy:  Will, you know they'll have to file a report...

Willow:  Whimper...

Hermione:  Combining that mystical, primal, Slayer energy with
Willow's Earth Goddess energy is quite combustable, plus the other
facotrs...

Willow:  Hey!  She's not the first Slayer I've...  done that with. 
OK, there wasn't simultaneous...  and the blacking out part, but
I've...  been intimate...  with a Slayer, before!

Luna:  Ah, but not THIS Slayer.

Buffy: (smiles) See?  I'm special.

Hermione:  The more experienced the Slayer, the more powerful and in
touch with her primal roots she is.  Plus, the two of you have a
special relationship.

Buffy:  Told ya.

Hermione:  You've had an especially tight bond for many years.  You've
always complimented each other.  My philosophically romantic blonde
associate would say you complete each other.

Luna:  I DID say that, actually.  So, you owe me a few gallions.

Hermione:  Yes, yes...  

Willow:  You had a bet?!!

Hermione:  Um, yes.  But, continuing...  Certain events bonded your
energy in an especially intense manner.  There was the enjoining spell
you used to defeat Adam, then the Osiris spell where you resurrected
her...

Willow:  How does she know everything?

Ginny:  I've been wondering that since I met her.

Luna:  Using the Osiris spell was especially significant.  That's the
one Isis used to raise Osiris.  It's one of the classic myths,
representing the Sacred Marriage.  You two have been putting off
consumating it for all this time...

Hermione:  Then there was that big spell that activated all the
Potentials, which tied you even more with the Slayer energy, which is
most centered in the Prime Slayer.  Plus, all these years of repressed
mutual desire built up the tension levels to a point where it had to...

Willow:  OK...  WAIT ONE DAMN MINUTE!!!  I've been accepting a lot,
tonight...  But, how the HELL would YOU know about years of repressed
desire?!!

Hermione:  Well, I thought it was just a theory, but since I've just
lost that bet to Luna...

Luna:  It wasn't MY theory, actually, but it was a very popular one in
the Quibbler...

Willow:  Huh?!!!

Buffy:  And you thought that paper wasn't worth reading...

Luna:  Oh, yes.  We've had people who've written at length about you
two and your relationship being more than just friends.  There's been
some great essays about how you two were made for each other... 
Convinced me...
Willow:  Except for she's straight!!!  Um, usually...  And... 
These...  These people need to mind their own business!!!
Ginny:  People like a great love story.

Willow:  Well...  And...  OK...  I'm naked in bed with my girlfriend,
and three agents from the Ministry of Magic...  AND my girlfriend's
sister are here, investigating...  And I'M the only one here who feels
the least bit awkward?!!!

Ginny:  Hey, at least with us, it's friends.  Imagine if the crew sent
here had been total strangers...

Willow:  Eep...

Dawn:  Um, I'M feeling awkward.

Willow:  Thank you.

Dawn:  I mean, here I am, looking at you, someone I love, naked, in
the afterglow...  Of course, I love Buffy, too, but in a sisterly,
platonic, totally not incestual way, and my admiration for her nude
form is totally aesthetic.

Ginny:  Thanks for the disclaimer.

Buffy: And the disclaimer is mutual.  Though, Willow thinks Dawn's
really hot.

Willow:  Buffy!!!

Luna:  She's not the only one...  (looks deeply in Dawn's eyes)  Have
you ever noticed your name makes you the rising summer sun, while mine
makes me the romantic moon?

Dawn: (softly) Wow...   

Willow:  Um, is Luna Lovegood coming on to your sister?

Buffy:  Ususally.

Willow:  Should I mention that Dawn's straight?

Buffy:  She was made out of me, so she's whatever I am.

Willow:  Exactly.  Um...

Hermione:  Well, according to the Kinsey Scale...

Willow:  Not that again...

Ginny:  I'd say our work is done, here.  

Dawn:  Um, maybe Luna should stay...  Y'know, to...  follow up, and
stuff...

Hermione:  Very well.  

Luna:  If you get any unusual Key of Dagon power surges, don't worry.
I'll be right on top of it.

Hermione:  Of course.

Ginny:  I could use a hot tub and a glass of wine.  You?

Hermione:  Sounds VERY good.  I have a lot of tension I need to relieve...

Willow:  Wait, wait, WAIT a minute!!!  I caught the overtones, there,
and this is going TOO far!!!  Five percent of the population!  The
odds on all SIX of us going that way, even a little, are ASTRONOMICAL!!!  

Hermione:  Oh...  Well...  According to statistics, extremely powerful
witches and Slayers are FAR more likely to be pansexual than the average.

Willow:  Oh.  OK, then.

Ginny:  You just made that up, didn't you?

Hermione:  No!  No, I didn't.  Bye, everyone!

POP!  POP!

Luna:  So, let's see how much like a Slayer you are...  (leaves room
with Dawn)

Buffy:  Alone again, at last.

Willow:  Yeah...

Buffy:  You called me your girlfriend.

Willow:  Yeah...

Buffy:  So, that means you've accepted I'm not totally straight?

Willow:  No.  I think I'm just that good.

Buffy:  It's a start.  You, shall we see just how good you are, again?

Willow:  Already?!!  You're insatiable!

Buffy:  What can I say?  I'm a Slayer.  
 




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Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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